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Talk Roundup
24 April 2009

baby etcIn the 90s we had the Rachel haircut, but in these difficult financial times we've got the "Mumsnet": I've just cut my hair and it looks frigging awesome! chirped JackBauer, who used a chopping method recommended on Talk. Thus followed a stampede of women grabbing their kitchen scissors and hacking into ponytails, often, like serenity, after taking the precaution of "experimenting on DD's hair". Many MNers were ecstatic with their results: "I tried to bounce to the train like the woman on the shampoo ad whose hair would bounce up and down with pure life and shininess as she walked," admitted EyeballsintheSky, "I think I just looked like a pillock though." Sadly, the results were not universally successful: "I had just about convinced myself it was Suzy Quatro-esque," grumbled MaryAnnSailors, "when my dh walked in and said I looked like Kath or Kim." While MamaG was just moaning quietly to herself in the corner: "Oh God, oh God, it's a bit like a mullet." But SlightlyMadStirrup would not be dissuaded from bargain hairdressing: "Any DIY home-dyeing tips? Can I do it with a used teabag?"

This week we were discussing inappropriate books we read at a tender age: Cyteen was shocked when she picked up a novel by the author of Watership Down that was chock full of 'slave girl w*nk fantasies': "For some reason it was in our school library." "I read Pet Semetary when I was about 7," recalled lissielou, while toolly remembered her dad reading Lord of the Flies to her as a bedtime story, "but they wouldn't let me stay up to watch TOP OF THE POPS!" MarthaFarquhar borrowed American Psycho from the library when it was first published: "Shock did not cover it. I half wanted to complain to the library that had lent it to me, but was worried that my adult library card might get suspended." But Judy Blume fan KingRolo is convinced that most age-inappropriate material goes over children's heads: "I remember a reference in 'Deanie' to how she would touch her 'special place' when she was sad. I read it as 'special plate' and thought it must be a souvenir or something."

Omelette is awfully bad for your health concluded BCNS this week, after an unfortunate mishap over dinner: "DS1 said something that made me laugh mid swallow... I laughed, swallowed and choked at the same time, and the omelette shot up the back of my nose and stuck fast! I rolled about in pain, eyes streaming, saying this is a prime example of why we don't mess about at the dinner table." She begged omelette-removal tips from Mumsnetters: "I dare not Google it - it will go from omelette up the nose to cancer in one click." Suggestions came thick and fast, mainly involving "blowing your nose hard, dear", but eventually, the offending object was disgorged with a sneeze, to relief all round. Or, as Niecie pointed out: "You could have been one of those strange statistics they publish once a year about A&E admittances - 'People injured by omelettes - 1'."

Lucky pagwatch is just back from her hols and can't quite believe what she was asked when in the USA: "We confirmed that England has the internet and mobile phones, and that everyone has a castle but they are very cold, England looks just like the Harry Potter films and Prince Charles will just never f*ck off for even five minutes." ForeverOptimistic remembered the heady days when some American friends thought she was so posh they almost curtsied every time they saw her, despite her admittance: "I grew up in Swindon." And Fleacircus overheard American tourists on a train remarking on a shanty town: "We were passing some allotments." Not Mumsnetters' allotments, clearly.


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