Mumsnet: the April Fools
Here at MNHQ, we've dedicated ourselves to your April 1st enjoyment since 2009. From our merger with Netmums to an Academy course in vajazzling, cast your eye over seven years' worth of April Foolery, and give yourself leave to ROFL all over again
After the success of our MI6 recruitment drive, who else were NASA going to turn to in search of a mother-and-baby team to send to space? Tasked with testing the viability of space travel for infants, the successful candidate was needed to conduct zero-gravity experiments to establish the feasibility of catching vomit, tackling a poonami and managing the detritus of weaning without disabling the International Space Station's delicate instruments. Of course, numerous mothers - armed with multitasking abilities and strong stomachs - applied.
Ahead of the General Election, Mumsnet launched the MNP, campaigning under the slogan: 'You've let the country down, you've let us down - but most of all, you've let yourselves down'. Policies included universal free childcare, free first-class travel for pregnant women and the abolition of all retail taxes on sanitary products, chocolate and gin. Let's be honest, who wouldn't vote for us?
It was announced that the Department of Health would launch a pilot scheme to trial the outsourcing of maternity wards to Mumsnet. Key features of the new scheme included an expanded range of pain relief options (from gas and air to whale music to a gin bar); a no-quibble, no-returns caesarian option, with online check-in, and 24-hour services ranging from lactation consultants to beauty therapists. Doesn't sound so bad, does it?
Mumsnetters were treated to the offer of a brand new course from the Mumsnet Academy, providing instruction on the art of the vajazzle, from such legends of the arena as TOWIE star and 'vajazzle junkie' Amy Childs.
"I'm due to give birth in a matter of days, I'd been wondering what to do with my nether regions," enthused MNer aufaniae. "Thank you Mumsnet for showing me the way, of course a vajazzle is exactly what's needed." That's what we're here for, aufaniae. That's what we're here for.
2012: Welcome to Momsnet
The year that Mumsnet bowed to the inevitable and reinvented itself as a transatlantic proposition. "I see you are not addressing the Southern states," sighed Whatmeworry, "where it is of course MarmsNet."
A story on - ahem! - the BBC, revealed the news that "a coalition of fathers' groups is to take legal action against Mumsnet ... claiming they are the victims of gender discrimination and breaches of the Human Rights Act". "OMG, have you seen this?" wrote the interestingly-named Polarfoil. "Mumsnet being sued again. This time by Dads!"
Election year, and things got political: Mumsnet published its "Mumifesto". Key proposals included tax-deductible childcare, the abolition of tuition fees and the "introduction of restrictions on vending machines stocking Fruit Shoots in public buildings, including schools and hospitals". All seems pretty reasonable, looking back.
The original, and still the most shocking and radical, April Fool to emerge from the Mumsnet stable. Siobahn Freegard, Netmums founder, is quoted on the press release as saying: "Although it's true that a minority of our members think of the Mumsnet community as a vipers' nest, we think they're a fabulous bunch and see enormous benefits in a merger. We'll hopefully end up with a site that takes the best aspects from both - one that's a little bit pinker than Mumsnet and a little bit bluer than Netmums."
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