Halloween survival tips
There's no halfway (haunted) house when it comes to Halloween: you either love it and layer it on thick or you deem it dark, dangerous and disgusting.
And Mumsnet is no exception. Some Mumsnetters would sell their souls rather than miss out on a night of trick or treating.
Others would like nothing more than to tell every door-stepping batch of spooky teens to stick their pumpkins where the jack-o-lantern light don't shine.
For those who find Halloween hell...
Think Halloween's just an overhyped excuse for kids to go begging and get high on E numbers? Fed up with teenagers in Scream masks spooking the hell out of your baby every five minutes? Use these fiendishly clever tactics to send those trick-or-treaters packing...
- Shut the curtains, turn off the lights, sit in the dark and pretend you're out. Marthamoo
- Plagued by teens who turn up twice - wearing different masks - because they think you're thick? Give out tangerines. Little kids won't mind, their parents will be relieved - and teenagers won't come back. Custardo
- I left a bowl of sweets outside and stuck a sign up saying, 'New baby asleep. Knock and I'll flay you alive. But help yourself to a sweetie'. No one knocked. Filthymindedbolshevixen
- Or try the credit-crunch alternative: Put a basket out, with a sign on it, saying, 'We've gone out but do help yourselves to these' - but leave the basket empty. icod
- My broomstick at the door and a sign saying, 'Sacrifice volunteers, please ring bell' normally does the trick. Saint George
- A kid turned up not dressed as anything, so we told him to at least put his jumper over his head and pretend to be a headless ghost. That's when he ran away. Cappuccino
- Stick with tradition: hand all costume-less visitors an overly polished penny. Peachy
- Book a holiday abroad, preferably somewhere sunny. Heifer
And if all else fails?
- Get a massive, potentially scary looking dog. When the doorbell rings, squirt instant cream around dog's mouth and open door shouting 'RABID DOG! RABID DOG!' Clears devils, bats and witches in seconds. CountessDracula
For those who find Halloween heaven...
So, you've been planning the blood-spattered costumes since May and have developed a truly scary way with face-paint? Here's how to add even more fright factor to the whole ham-it-up Hallowe'en hocus pocus...
Trick or treat tips
- Only knock at houses that have a pumpkin in the window or decorations on the door; always dress up; never do tricks and never knock on undecorated doors. themildmanneredjanitor
- Roads leading to primary schools are a good bet for trick or treating - all those small kids should equal lots of participating families. Alternatively, head for residential areas popular with extraordinarily rich Americans - with luck, they'll be frantically trying to outdo each other. Willow
- Be careful who you team up with to go trick or treating. Some kids become manic and totally out of control. Try to choose calm, controlled, obedient kids to go out with - or at least go easy on the E numbers! Fauve
And for callers to your own front door...
- Fill a hollowed-out pumpkin with jelly. Leave to set until it's gloopy - then add lollipops. Tell trick-or-treaters to root inside the pumpkin brains for their treats. Custardo
- I hand-made a gigantic spider's web from rope, complete with 6ft inflatable spider, which people had to duck under to get to the door. And my husband hid outside in the dark, dressed as Dracula. When kids rang the bell he stood up, swished his cape and said 'Boo!' Scared the hell out of several marauding gangs of teenagers! Califrau
- Always buy far too many sweets, so you can eat the remainder throughout November. Yum. southeastsastra