What school reports REALLY mean
Struggling to interpret your child’s school report? According to Mumsnetters, teachers use a cunning code to hint at the truth without being too crushing. Here's a translation of common words and phrases.
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"Has a good understanding of the rules" = is an incorrigible tell-tale
"Very articulate" = never shuts up
"Has a vivid imagination" = relentless fibber
"Independent" = will not do as they're blimmin’ well told
"Dynamic" = a noisy little bugger
"Spirited" = has brought several teachers to the point of nervous collapse
"Quiet and focused, has learned well this year" = no distinguishing features
"Likes to question and challenge" = terrible know-it-all
"Strong leadership skills" = atrociously bossy
"Always keen to share her news from home" = has told the teacher your hobby is drinking
"A rather solitary child" = please deal with the nit issue sharpish
"My husband's report said that he could work well 'when cornered like a rat'."
"We expect great things of her, and we have been expecting them for a very long time."
"A strange child, rather hostile when questioned."
"Doing better, but still has a tendency to fall off her chair."
"She is mal-coordinated."
And last, but by no means least, the admirably frank...
"Who is she?"
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