Things you don't want to hear when you've just had a baby
Anyone with half a brain knows that there are some things you Just Don't Say to a new mother - but alas, it has become clear over the years that some people out there never got the memo.
Here are real-life examples of <ahem> constructive comments Mumsnetters' friends and family have offered them. Brace yourselves.
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1) "OMG your baby is a GIANT! No wonder you were so huge!"
2) "Oh, my wife had Cressida on a strict routine by this stage, so we had no problems with sleep."
3) "Do you think you'll be able to make my hen do next weekend?"
4) "I'm so tired, the tube was all messed up, it's taken me HOURS to get across London to see you."
5) "You think this is hard, just you wait 'til she's a teenager!"
6) Nurse checking my stitched up perineum: "Well, you were never going to win any beauty contests..."
7) "You're almost bigger now than you were before you had him!"
8) In the supermarket when my daughter was a week old, I had a woman pat my stomach and exclaim: "Goodness, you got another one in there pretty quickly!" I went and cried in the frozen pizza aisle.
9) "You need to look after yourself more, you look like crap."
10) "I was going to bring chocolates but thought you'd probably be on a diet."
11) "Don't feel bad about the mess, it's only us visiting."