Inverse sexism - or, what the world would look like upside down
"What would be the most obvious, outrageous sexist behaviour, if we swapped the genders?" asked one MNer. The results were thought-provoking…
1. The teen or pre-teen sons of celebs would be described as 'leggy beauties' etc.
2. Young men would be leered at by women of all ages.
3. University students would receive their Spinster of Science degrees after three years' study.
4. Most comedians would be women.
5. Women van drivers would shout abuse at men in the street: 'you've got a great arse love', 'I'd like to get my hands on your tackle' etc.
6. Men in their 40s would be seen as past it in terms of attractiveness.
7. Men would have to shave their underarms and legs, and face being shamed by other men and women if they didn't.
8. Men would be told to 'cheer up, love!' on the street. Persistently.
9. All books written by or for men would be dismissed as 'dick lit', and female critics would guffaw about how crap they all were, without ever having read any of them.
10. Adverts would assume men did the housework and women were, at best, inept participants.
11. There'd be endless articles asking whether men can, in fact, 'have it all', with the implication being that the very desire to do so was fundamentally selfish, and damaging to the social fabric.
12. God would be assumed to be a woman, and all instances of the universal 'he' would change to 'she'. If men questioned this, it would be explained, wearily, that 'she' indicates all humans.
13. The description of any man in any job would be "male [insert job here]"; "male MP, George Osborne", for example. Except nurses, PAs and nannies, who would be assumed to be male and named as female if they weren't.
14. Men would be expected to stay at home to look after their children, and would be castigated in some way for whatever decision they made about it. And there'd be endless threads about whether someone was a bad dad because they don't do school pick up.
15. Industry shows and conferences would have handsome young promo boys working the crowd, wearing muscle T-shirts and tight shorts with company logos printed across the arse.
16. Newpapers would be full of articles on why men get [insert topic] wrong.
17. Slim, attractive men would sing in bands, while the backing musicians would be older, overweight, hirsute women. Most male singers would not play an instrument.
18. There'd be TV shows in which lesbian presenters tell men how to make themselves more sexually attractive to their female partners.
19. Men would be assumed to be mentally deficient as soon as they reproduced.
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Last updated: 5 months ago