"Dear Other Half..." - the Mumsnet confessional
All it took was one Mumsnetter fessing up to blocking the drain (and proceeding to blame her husband) to bring out the
best worst in all of us. From car crashes to spending sprees to needing time alone to Google Benedict Cumberbatch, here's a round-up of some of our favourite confessions. Mumsnet forgives you.
Dear Other Half,
I need some private time so I can perv on Benedict Cumberbatch
"Now that you're off for a month, I need some time on my own to Google Benedict Cumberbatch. I want to download Casanova without telling you. I hope you understand.
Either that or I'm leaving you for him."
I buy my 'homemade' quiche from the bakery
"You know that lovely quiche I make? The one you love taking a slice to work for lunch? Well it's not me that makes it. I buy it from the baker."
I like to go shopping, and then lie about what I bought
"The reason we're skint is because I keep going shopping then pretending I've had it for ages. 2014 is the year I stop this. I promise."
I know you spent £5000 on a horse...
"I also know that you found out you'd been ripped off, got kicked off it and ended up giving it away. For free."
I'm sorry I blamed the police for my car crash
"I'm also sorry it cost us a fortune to replace the car alloy and tyre. It wasn't the police coming very fast along the road so I had to mount a very high kerb to get out their way. It was me being nosy at a house for sale and distractedly scraping the kerb quite hard.
I'm not going to put a complaint in to the police for erratic driving."
I may have lied about how much some things cost
"Everything in this house costs at least three times as much as I told you it did."
I lied about having a bad weekend
"When you went away last weekend, our son and I had a brilliant time just the two of us. It wasn't quite as exhausting, relentless and tiring as I made out. We actually had a blast. Thanks for doing everything when you got back on Sunday afternoon while I was drinking wine in the bath though!"
Sorry about your lovely shiny new BMW
"I reversed your
lovely shiny new BMW car into a brick pillar a few months and didn't tell you . You may will find a scrape on your back passenger side… Sorry!"
I got the dog muddy and blamed it on you
"The mud splattered all over the living room wasn't from when you took the dog for a walk yesterday and forgot to dry him properly. It was from when I let him out for a wee and forgot to dry him. Thanks for cleaning it up, though!"
I let our son stay off school because I didn't want to get wet
"One day last term I let our son have the day off school because it was lashing down with rain and howling with wind and I couldn't find an umbrella. I couldn't face the 10 minute walk there and back… So I let him stay at home and we played Minecraft and ate rubbish all day. I feel bad about this."
I have no desire to cook a roast chicken
"I do actually know how to make a roast chicken. I'm not too scared to cook it in case I give you food poisoning, I just can't be fucked with all the messing around."
You're in for a treat in a few weeks
"You have four weeks left before I talk you into having a vasectomy."