"AIBU or AINBU, that is the question" - if Shakespeare had been a Mumsnetter
Zounds! It is Shakespeare Week. And to celebrate, we happy few, we band of brothers, thought we'd ask the clever folk of our Talk boards to put on an antic disposition and post as if the cast of Shakespeare's plays had access to Mumsnet. They were very, very good at it.
"AIBU in thinking these workmen exceptionally rude? One of them was pretending to be a wall, instead of just getting on and building as I had asked."
"If we posters have offended,
Think but this and all is mended,
That you have been unreasonable here
While these personal attacks did appear.
And this MIL and DIL theme,
No more bitching but a dream,
MNers, do not reprehend:
If you bum sex we will mend.
And, as I am a gin-loving Puck,
If we have cunt bunting luck
Now to 'scape the viper's tongue,
We will make lemon drizzle ere long;
Else the Puck a gaslighter call:
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your Pombears, if we be friends,
And JustineMumsnet shall restore amends. [Exit.]"
"OP: What ho! Horatio!
Mumsnetters: What about a nice sensible-sounding baby name instead? William?"
"<<Enter the three witches vipers>>
When shall we vipers meet again?
In Waitrose, Boden or in rain. <cough> the children won't melt
When the school run all is done,
And online battles lost and won,
There'll be G&T at set of sun."
"I know this sounds a bit woo but I swear that those trees out back are getting closer."
"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and AIBU to have slipped out last night and chain-sawed the neighbour's Leylandii?"
"DH, oh DH, wherefore art thou incapable of changing a loo roll?
Deny thy heritage and refuse thy piddledrops!
Or, if thou wilt not, be sworn but to use a different toilet
And I'll no longer get driven round the bend by it."
"God has given you one nickname, and you make yourself another <cat's bum face>."
"Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds.
Is this a red flag?"