18 unequivocal signs you're the parent of a toddler
Dizzily thrilled if you get a post-7am lie-in? Prone to asking your colleagues if they've been to the loo before you head out to a meeting? If any of the following seem wearily familiar to you, then you must be the parent of a toddler...
1. You automatically get excited and start pointing out the nee-naw whenever you hear a siren. Even to your workmates.
2. Waking up at 7.30 seems like a lie-in.
3. You are disappointed and apologetic when the level crossing is open and no trains are coming.
4. Root canal treatment at the dentist constitutes a bit of 'me time'.
5. Your handbag contains a spare nappy, wipes, a colouring book and crayons but no wallet.
6. Shopping lists are frequently written in crayon.
7. You find yourself asking your colleagues if they want any milky in their tea or coffee when doing the drinks run at work.
8. You think Justin (Mr Tumble) is a comedy genius.
9. You can cook quite complicated meals with someone hanging onto your leg and screaming at you.
10. You know the difference between a bulldozer, a backhoe loader, and several different types of crane.
11. You automatically sit on the floor in any gathering of people.
12. Anything you put into your handbag comes out covered in glitter.
13. You always wait for the green man, Even at 2am with nothing on the road.
14. You automatically check your shoes before putting them on for lego and bits of manky banana.
15. Strangers know the ins and outs of your most private moments because you have the world's smallest gossip living with you.
16. You can identify various household objects purely by the sound they make when they fall/are dropped on the floor.
17. You forget what it's like to go to the toilet on your own
18. When you're out with non-parent friends, you find yourself moving all cutlery, glasses and anything breakable to the middle of the table, even though your toddler isn't with you.