17 eminently sensible reasons why my child is having a tantrum
Mumsnet users share the myriad logical* justifications their children have given for their capricious behaviour.
*NB By 'logical', we mean 'insane'.
1) "Because I wouldn't give him my hiccups."
2) "Because she's not a duck."
3) "Because a very, very small fly landed on him."
4) "Because a dog looked at her."
5) "Because I 'stole her bogies' by wiping her nose."
6) "Because I wouldn't let him hit me with a cucumber.
Because I wouldn't let him hit the dog with a cucumber.
Because I wouldn't let him hit his head with a cucumber.
Because I took away the cucumber."
7) "Because the ladybird that landed on her arm and became her 'best friend' had the audacity to fly away."
8) "Because when she screamed 'cuddle me!' as we drove past them, the sheep wouldn't comply."
9) "Because Mummy got shorts out to wear. In Mummy's world, shorts are just a more comfortable version of trousers in hot weather. In his, shorts are the work of the devil, whilst thick winter trousers are the only thing to be seen in."
10) "Because we won't let him sit on the kitchen worktop and play with knives."
11) "Because I walked in front of my daughter, which meant I was 'winning'."
12) "Because she was worried that I might decide to use all her pocket money to buy an enormous drill so we could prospect for oil. Funnily enough, it wasn't something I'd considered."
13) "Because the wind was blowing him."
14) "Because, his hair was 'broken' (he'd had a haircut)."
15) "For reasons related to Jedi mind-bending."
Me: "Do you want a drink?"
Me: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Okay, well I'm getting your brother a drink"
DD: "NOOOOOOOOOOO, me want drink"
Me: "Okay, I'll get you one too, what do you want"
DD: "Don't want anything"
Me: hmm <brings both kids a drink>
DD: "No, Mummy, I said no drink" <drinking from the cup>
16) "Because his banana broke in half as he was eating it."
17) "Because I couldn't make it snow."
Son: "Me want play in snow now Mummy, let's go."
Me: "Erm, its July and a heatwave - there is no snow."
Son: "Yes me see snow on telly, snow outside NOW mummy. "
Me: "I can't make it snow darling, it's not time for it yet."
Son: (heading to front door) "Why you say no snow mummy, let me have snow mummy, let me let me let me NOWWWWWWWW." (screaming for half an hour)
Me: "Sand is a bit like snow, we could play with that."
DS stops, looks at me, says "Don't be ridiculous mummy", and continues...