11 things your kids will never say

 

1. 'Long car journey, you say? Best I go to the toilet first, then.'

 

2. 'I'll make my own tea. Watch the telly and put your feet up.'

 

3. 'You know, Mum, you're right, my room is a pigsty. Please excuse me while I tidy it - I’ll be back down shortly with the mouldy cups.'

 

4. 'I don't think the cat likes it when I turn her upside down. I won't do that anymore.'

 

5. 'Of course I won't step out of my clothes like a second skin and leave them in a heap beside my bed.'

 

6. 'I think I'll take the bins out, rather than attempting to play binbag Jenga.'

 

7. 'Here is a pen lid I considered shoving up my brother's nose, but with A&E waiting times being what they are, I shan't bother.'

 

8. 'I'm going to go home and do my homework straight away - then it's done.'

 

 

9. 'That's enough Minecraft for today.'

 

10. 'D'you know what? I've gone off YouTube.'

 

11. 'Can we listen to Radio 4 instead of Taylor Swift?'

 

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Last updated: over 1 year ago