Preconception
Whether you're a recent convert to the idea of having children or have been considering it for a while, then you're probably thinking along the lines of: junk the contraceptives and get jiggy with consenting adult for the conceivable future (pun intended).
Depending on the sex of your partner, of course, the technicalities of trying to get pregnant may vary.
The unknown factor is how many times you'll get to enjoy contraceptive-free sex before you get a Big Fat Positive. Days, months, years?
"I guess I am just panicking that there might be something wrong and we will put our lives on hold for a year until we can at least investigate. It's so annoying. We spent 10 years making sure we didn't get pregnant, and now that we want to it's not proving as straight forward as we thought." Ready
The NHS says around nine out of ten couples conceive within a year of trying and around half of those who have been trying for a year will conceive the following year. The remaining women may need medical help to conceive and a small number may not be able to have children.
Trying for a baby | Best time to conceive
Pre-conception
If you're thinking in advance about getting pregnant (as opposed to discovering you already are), then it's worth giving yourself and your baby-to-be the best possible start.
"It took us a while the first time as literally didn't have a clue about ovulation calendars etc, learnt all that off this site and conceived first time the second time round." FiveGoMadInDorset
Preconception, as this stage is known, is a good preparation for parenthood because it involves self-denial, visits to your GP and, for some women, a fair amount of worry.
This is the self-denial part.
Current government advice is to stop drinking alcohol completely if you're planning a pregnancy (and also during pregnancy). If you follow this advice at least you'll be certain when your baby was conceived.
Smoking can reduce your fertility, ditto drugs, so expert advice is that you ditch the fags and any 'recreational' drugs before you try to get pregnant.
Eat lots of:
Fruit and veg
Starchy foods - rice, pasta, bread (preferably wholegrain) and potatoes
Protein - lean meat and chicken, eggs and pulses
Dairy - milk, cheese, yoghurt
Iron-rich foods - red meat, pulses, bread, green veg, fortified cereals, dried fruit
Eat moderate amounts of:
Fish - try for fish twice a week but don't have more than two portions of oily fish (fresh, not canned, tuna, mackerel, sardines and trout)
Avoid:
Too much vitamin A - fish liver oils, vitamin supplements with vit A, liver and live pate
Shark, swordfish marlin - they contain mercury, which can damage an unborn baby's developing nervous system
Peanuts - if you, your partner or existing children have medically diagnosed allergies to food, or asthma, eczema or hayfever
As you'd expect, a balanced diet and regular exercise are recommended to ensure you start pregnancy as a paragon of healthy living. The Food Standards Agency has expert advice on what to eat/what to avoid when you're trying for a baby.
Make sure your partner is also on a clean-living kick because poor nutrition, smoking and heavy drinking all lower the quality and quantity of sperm.
"We had two different analyses done on my partner's side as well, to see if his [sperm] motility levels changed once it had been six months since giving up alcohol (they did!)." Kiteflying
"Over two years, we completely changed our diet (no red meat, no cow dairy, no caffeine, no alcohol, no aspartame, as few additives as possible), took up yoga, acupuncture, reflexology etc. Doing this made me feel like we were contributing to the process and that we had some control in the whole ghastly process. In the end, I got pregnant the month before our IVF treatment was due to start but continued the lifestyle changes all the way through pregnancy and beyond." Littlefish
The same goes for his 'n' hers weight - too high or too low and it can impair fertility for either gender. If you need encouragement or advice to reduce your BMI, then get stuck into our Talk weight loss club.
If you struggle to gain weight, ask if you can be referred to a dietitian by your GP.
Make an appointment to see your GP and expect at least some of the following:
- Full medical history - if there's a genetic disorder in your family, you may be referred for genetic testing and counselling
- Cervical smear - your GP will check you're up to date or arrange for you to have one done if you're not
- Urine analysis - this can detect any infections and other problems early on
- Blood test - your doctor may check for anaemia and screen for any potential problems
- Blood pressure - too high and you (and your future pregnancy) could be at risk
- Vaccinations - now's the time if you need any immunisations, for example against rubella (German measles) and varicella (the virus which causes chickenpox and shingles).
- Sexually transmitted infections screening - better to know now and get them treated than find out once you're pregnant
- Toxoplasmosis test - it's most often transmitted through cat faeces or undercooked meat but a simple blood test can determine whether you've already had it and are immune - one less thing to worry about once you're pregnant
- Review of existing health conditions and medication (eg, asthma, epilepsy, diabetes, heart disease, depression) - your GP can explain how will they affect any future pregnancy
- Review the type of contraception you were previously using - it can take a while for certain types of contraception (eg contraceptive injections) to stop working
- Any other business - don't know whether you've had/have chlamydia, worried because your mum had postnatal depression after you - whatever your fears, discuss them with your GP now, before you get pregnant
"We had tried for 12 months to get pregnant and toddled off to doctors. She asked us to temperature chart to check ovulation and then a month later had blood tests around day 7 (I think) and day 21. Also had ovary scan but can't remember if this was early on or late in my cycle. DH also had to have a sperm test." eyelash
Your GP will also advise to you take 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid supplement while you're trying to get pregnant (and for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy) to help prevent serious brain abnormalities in your baby.
If you have a family history of neural tube defects or a chronic health condition, such as epilepsy, you may need to take a higher daily dose of 5 milligrams (mg).
Practice nurses also do preconception care, and health visitors, family planning clinics and well-woman clinics can also advise you.
When's the best time to conceive?
To answer this you need to know the pattern of your menstrual cycle, which is calculated from the first day of your period to the day before the start of your next period.
If who haven't had to think much about this since school biology, a quick reminder:
- Day one of your cycle is the first day of your period
- The time from your period to ovulation is known as the follicular phase
- During the follicular phase your body releases follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and this causes one of your ovarian follicles to become dominant and release an egg into a fallopian tube
- Meanwhile, the hormone oestrogen starts to thicken your womb lining in preparation for a fertilised egg
- The mucus in your cervix gets thinner, wetter and more stretchy (this is to allow sperm to reach an egg more easily)
- Ovulation, when the egg is released from an ovary, is triggered by luteinising hormone (LH) around 10 to 16 days before the start of your next period (the amount of time from the first day of your period to ovulation varies between different women)
- If more than one egg is released it will happen within 24 hours of the first egg being released, and if more than one egg is fertilised it can lead to a multiple pregnancy
- The time from ovulation to the end of your cycle is known as the luteal phase
- Ovulation triggers your body to produce another hormone, progesterone and this one ensures your womb lining is ready for a fertilised egg to implant
- After ovulation, your cervical mucus reverts to being thicker and stickier
- If the egg isn't fertilised, your hormone levels fall and this menstrual cycle ends
- Then the whole thing starts again - the womb lining breaks down and you have your next period
The average menstrual cycle is around 28 days, but both longer and shorter cycles are common and normal.
"It still amazes me that I managed to get to 35 without even knowing the basics. The first time we started TTC I started noticing all these pmt symptoms that I had never taken any notice of - of course assuming I was pregnant. Four years later and a whole lot wiser, it still amazes me how ignorant I was about my cycle before I had to pay attention...still to no avail. Ignorance is (was) bliss." sootykalucy
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