As Headspace Perspective looks to her second Baby Loss Awareness Week, she shares her thoughts on moving forward after losing a child
"Last year was my first Baby Loss Awareness Week. I was still deep in the darkness. Inky black complete darkness, the kind where you cannot even see your hand in front of your face. A prisoner to my grief. Angry with myself, the world, everything. The chasm between understanding me – understanding myself and this new life I had found myself in – widening. Relationships fractured. Some on the other side of the chasm. By choice or by circumstance? Can they be repaired? I don’t know. I hope so. One day at a time. One challenge at a time."
After completing her treatment for breast cancer, Baldy Bites Back reveals her anxieties about the future
"That day of my last radiotherapy – when I skipped down the corridor and sped out of the car park before they caught me and told me to come back – that day was seminal. I had left the hospital, I had left the invasive treatment, I had left the needles, the poison and the pain (mostly) behind. I had left the dreaded A12, that place peopled by the sick, the sad and the desperate. That day, and for the last couple of months, I wasn't one of those people, I was better, because I was healed.
But also that day I learned a new fear; the fear of what happens to my body while it's not being treated."
A mother and her newborn are like travellers in a strange land, discovers Wry Mummy
"Don't worry about the washing up or the laundry or tidying up for guests. You are nurturing life. It is incredible. It is also incredibly hard work.
Maybe your experience on Mars is different. Maybe you would have preferred congratulations and practical advice: how to cope with breastfeeding, how to do up a onesie, how to change an up-the-backer nappy in the dark, silently, with nothing but your last two baby wipes.
I can do all that too. But for now, I want to say – wherever you are in the universe – you are doing a fantastic job."
On her daughter's tenth birthday, Mother Inferior reflects on the wisdom accrued after ten years of parenting
"I'd always assumed a decade was a long time and doing anything for that long should result in a level of proficiency that would distinguish oneself as an expert, rather than a beginner, but 10 years in, I recognise that parenting is not like other jobs, or other skills, or other hobbies: it’s not something we can ever hope to master.
Its challenges morph and change and multiply on an almost daily basis and our best measure of success is in whether we manage to hang on in there and keep trying our best."
Breed and Write wasn't prepared for the feelings of isolation that would follow having children
"I lie in bed at night thinking about my kids. When they are asleep, I am there, in the silence, wondering if I have totally screwed their future because we didn't read a book today. I am worrying that their physical development may be inhibited because they only had three portions of fruit or veg.
Having mum mates is a total saviour for most things, but not this. No matter how much we comfort each other, I still feel like I haven't a clue what I'm supposed to be doing. And that's a lonely feeling."