MommyEnnui imagines how Kim Kardashian's famously awesome other half would respond to a clutch of common parenting queries.
"Q: We’d like to give our baby a unique name. Do you have any suggestions?
Kanye: You want your baby to have a name that’s strong and confident…a name that don’t bow to the man so, when it grows up, that baby can rise to the highest pinnacle of truth and awesomeness. If it’s a boy, you should name him Hermes, Summit or Kanye. If it’s a girl, I’d go with Apogee, Apex or Kim."
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Thursday's Blog of the Day: 'Present face': should I teach my kids to fake it this Christmas?
'Tis the season to be grateful. Wry Mummy on training up her brood to look pleased, whatever the gift may be.
"When my son opened his birthday present, his face looked like we’d just shot our dog. We don’t even have a dog. He undid the wrapping, took it out, looked at it, then put it back down, turning his head aside with such a look of sorrow that you’d think we’d cancelled Christmas. Normally, I love how my kids’ faces express every emotion they feel, but this is not good. With extended family coming for Christmas, they have to learn how to feign grateful elation, to convey to the giver that in their wildest dreams and most giddy perusals of those Lego catalogues that come with every damn set they get, they did not expect to receive this. In short, to put on their 'present face'."
Mummy Never Sleeps knew that her son was bound to feel insecure at some stage - but she never expected for him to feel the need to lose weight so early, and certainly didn't think Daddy Pig would be to blame.
"My four year-old getting it into his beautiful head that he’s fat.
Watching him in horror climbing down from the dining table once he’s finished his dinner and immediately dropping to the floor to (attempt to) do push ups. Hearing the words I don’t want to have a big tummy, tumble from his mouth with a tangible edge of anxiety. Him saying that he has to do lots of exercise so he doesn’t get a big tummy."
How To Be A Domestic Disgrace on the heinous world inflicted on parents.
"If there's ever a thing that's going to make you stop at having one child, it's soft play. Everything about it is odious. If the grime and the all-pervading stickiness of everything doesn't make you want to curl up and weep for your happy place, then the unbearable noise of 50 hyped up toddlers in close proximity, the miserable staff in grubby tabards, the eye-jarring colours and the smell of stale chip fat will."
In this post, Lulastic talks to fellow MN Blogger Royal Blue Baby about his experience of sharing parental leave with his partner.
"Having a better balance in how we care for our children in a world where most couples need to both be in work is so important. It’ll be great for women who want careers but it will also help men claim their right to be involved with their family and I can’t see how it can do anything but good for the child.
It’s changed my perspective about work and family"