I do this for all new mums that I know - it's a bit of a stretch, but means the world - 1. offer to come over one day when she has lots of "we're dying to see the new baby" visitors and make tea, bring cake, generally run the show so that mum can sit on couch and not worry about how everyone is being looked after. 2. I would cook a meal every now and then or do a load of laundry - 3. take kiddies or baby out for a bit so mum gets peace and quiet to sleep, bath or whatever. 4. 0ffer to babysit one night - no charge- so her and DP or DH can do whatever. if this is all too much, then even a big box of brownies or one large casserole for dinner will make a huge difference, I'm sure.

thanks for the ideas ladies, keep posting them if you have any more

With my 3rd I found that it was still just as lovely to get clothes and toys for him - otherwise it is all hand-me-downs for them. I had to ask for teddies / soft toys for him at Christmas (he was 3 months old) as no-one had bought him any, and the older 2 (2 and 4) weren't going to hand theirs down!

I loved my foodie survival packs - biscuits, drinks, chocolate, wine! Useful for refreshing the stream of visitors who will be popping in too. I'd also have loved some non-white muslins. I've seen great ones with coloured stars on so no danger of getting them mixed up at play group! And it was good to get new clothes for DS2 as I couldn't justify buying them and otherwise he'd spend his entire life in hand-me-downs. Hooded towels maybe? Another thing it's nice to have new but hard to justify buying for yourself. No flowers though, too much maintenance. I think it should be illegal to buy flowers for new mums

Promise her some babysitting. Having had my 3rd last year I would have really appreciated someone to give me time off, even an hour or two, just for me to read, or shop, or even sleep

When I had my DS, one of the best gifts I received was a survival pack. My friend got a large box & filled it with baby essentials like nappies & wipes, some breast pads, some salt for my bath & a large bottle of bacardi!

wow bettythebuilder - I would have loved that! I always wanted a bottle warmer to plug into the car cigarette lighter for long journeys.

How about a Baby Feed Wheel .You can get a yellow one if your friend doesn't know what sort of baby she's having!

have already thought of a thermos thingy for keeping babyfood hot, ice cube trays with lids for making up homemade stuff when weaning, a portable change mat. She hates facials etc and I'll of course be doing the helping out stuff anyway.... any other ideas, what items have you found most helpful?

one of those coffee cups that keep your drink hot!