I'm feeling really bad about this, I only asked for the specifications of their products and he tried to force an apointment with a designer (at my home), I told him that I didn't want to waste their time and that it would be very useful if I could have the specifications beforehand as I have a very irregularly shaped kitchen and it was all about finding a kitchen maker that had the specific measures I needed. Then he told me that was the work of a designer and people tried to do it and never succeeded, I told him I understood his point of view but that he didn't need to worry as I used to be a designer and I had a very clear idea about what I was looking for, after that he proceeded to explain me what a laminate worktop was (?). He insisted about the appointment so I asked if the designer came at home I would need to decide on the day as I was a bit afraid of hardselling to which he answred that I could always shut down the seller with a gun and walk him to the door (as if it was that easy!! they never leave!) anyways I said I kept no weapons at home but after failing consistently in getting the info I proceeded to make an appointment.

He wrote down my name and asked if it was french and I said it was catalan, then he said... "so how come that you don't work as a designer anymore? nobody would give you a job???" I said that I was a SAHM but in all honesty used to be a lecturer in design and as there were no university level study programs in the town I was a bit overqualified for the area (stupid me answering that to that ar** but for some strange reason when I'm angry I can't speak English and lie at the same time....). So he asked if that was because of where I came from.

I'm very angry but also very sad, in a way... he didn't say any lie, and I believe that what he said is just the reflection of how the majority of the people living in this white majority town think. There's no way around that, the few times I have applied to work in big companies in London I have got interviews immediatly, but everytime I asked for a job (even an entry level one) in this golden cage I'm turned down with the phrase that my qualifications are not enough for the required post even when I used to teach that subject at university level, have several postgraduate degrees and have worked previously at senior level in European blue chip companies, nothing is enough to get me in the shortlist. Have also removed things from my CV but that didn't work either.

If you have read all this long thank you very much. Sorry for the long post... another sad thing about this hole of a town is that I have been living here for seven years and even with all my efforts I still haven't find anybody that I can call a friend

I got the hard sell from a Mobem interior designer in my house once - but I can be just as rude and just got rid of him. Told him if the deal was that good it would be there the folowing day and I wsn't going to be rpessuried into making a decision before I had a chance to think things through. (I was a very assertive 26 year old!). He hadn't even proposed anything particualrly special - and his hard sell actually lost him the sale.

Repeat after me: Mobem sales people are scum. I shuld not let them get to me. I am better than them. I ama a well qualified, articulate woman.

Feel better yet?

Chandra, don't know what to say that is currently printable!

Ditto prettybirds mantra though!

chandra i'm so angry what a horrible little shit,i would write a letter to their head office,he shouldn't get away with it

Message withdrawn

Fwiw, this sounds more sexist than anything to me. Who doesn't know what a laminate worktop is? I think you'll have to put this one down to the guy being a t*sser. I often find tradesmen are like this to women.

And, not meaning to upset you Chandra, but I would consider you white.

Hi Chandra,

Sorry that you had a bad experience with this great big fat zero, but I think he sounds sexist, possibly intimidated by your education and having to show you who's boss, I think he chose the insulting line of 'where you come from' just to be mean and show you that despite your achievements that your just a woman.

I would write a letter of complaint and demand an apology, I'd also cancel the appointment until this matter can be resolved.

Honestly not all Londoners are bad but your in the right place (MN) for a pick-me-up

Try not to dwell on it too much and sound off here for support and advice, I and many others will gladly listen.

Tam xx

sorry that his inadequacies caused him to be like that

Thanks for your support, I have spent most of the evening thinking about it... this is just like a sign, have wanted to leave this place ever since we moved here almost seven years ago. and just a few of weeks ago DH told me we were going to be here for another 3 years when I was already seeing myself back at home by the end of the year. I'm tired of being a foreigner, I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of not fitting in... I really don't understand, it is not possible I have such bad luck here, it goes against all probability laws.... I have been thinking if the option was to move to other place in England where people could be a bit more open to differences but I don't know where and I can't be sure that things would be different in other place. I really don't think it was sexism, I hate to say it, but he really made a point of making me feel I don't belong here rather than I don't know anything about kitchens....

I can not cancel the appointment because in the documentation I got about it there was no single phone number I can ring to, and I'm not going back to this guy. I guess I will tell the "designer" when he arrive to my home that I'm not going to be able to see him because I have got a lot of abuse from his salesman and I couldn't cancel before because of the lack of numbers and if he could provide me with a complain number. I'm sure he will be really angry to this salesman as well, after all he ruined the sale even before the visit and the designer is driving up from another city. I hope he gets angry enough as to badmouth the guy from the inside of the company (yeah right...and the cows will fly..)

About Londoners... the best time I have had since we moved to the UK where the three months I spent in London, I really love the place. Unfortunately the mentality in my little town is far from the Londoner one. For some reason they just hear a foreign accent and immediatly assume that we are here trying to abuse the NHS, getting their jobs, or living out of their taxes, when in reality the main benefit is for the city, how many foreign people works in universities? do this kind of people may one day realise that foreigners are also here to provide a more varied and therefore richer education to even their own children? sometimes I really don't know why we bother...

What an arse. He was probably just trying to engage you in salesman-type matey conversation, but has no brains.

We had a Moben designer round one evening - he hand drew a fantastic layout and costed up what we'd chosen at around £15,000. We said we'd think about it then used the layout he'd come up with to instuct a bulder who put the kitchen in for £4,500. I know you don't need their design skills but it might help to get one over on them. Or go back tomorrow and ask him if he has to take a lowly Moben sales job because of how stupid he is.

When he said that I was not working because nobody would give me a job I felt like answering: no it is because I don't want to end up doing yours. But then, I have worked with a lot of salesmen that are lovely and I know is hard work, so decided not to play his game

posts crossed - the designer will probably ring ahead to confirm his appointment, at which point you can cancel and tell him it's the salesman's fault. I did that with a company once and told the guy in no uncertain terms that his back up staff were letting him down. You could try that.

Also my dh works in an academic institution which welcomes overseas academics - there will be work out there for you, Chandra, you might just have to dig deep. Are you registered with any employment agencies?

Aah, that's where you're going wrong, you're too decent! never miss a chance to get back at someone who has put you down when they have no idea about you

Chandra,

Can you look up the Moben kitchens website and get a telephone number for complaints off there?

What a wanker, but when you're feeling low, these horrible little creeps can really make you feel like shit even when you know that if you were feeling OK you would just laugh incredulously at them.

When the guy comes round, just tell him that you were bullied into the appointment, or speak Catalan to him and refuse to understand English - the salesman who made the call will then get into trouble for having wasted the time of the (slightly higher paid) face to face salesman.

Incidentally - moben kitchens have a terrible reputation for customer service, and were the subject of a recent BBC watchdog report

Sobernow, I was registered for many years but most of the appointments came from London and I was not in a position to move. I'm nolonger employable as I have been out of the market for many years, and I'm old enough not to be accepted as a trainee, so I can't even start again from zero.

Caligula, I really don't know what came first, if I'm feeling low because I have had similar experiences to this for such a long time or if these things get at me because I'm feeling low.... It's a vicious circle...

HMC. DH is going is ready to set the hell loose with a letter, I don't see it would make a lot of difference but if that is enough to give this guy a bad time at work.... so be it...

I'm glad your dh is on the case - the bloke involved sounds obnoxious

Chandra dont let the small minded ars<h<le get you down, ooooh they make me soooo
If you cant get in touch to cancel the appointment just go out on the day that he is coming.
A few years ago we had 2 double glazing salesman come round to give us a quote, when they realised we werent signing up that day they got really stroppy we couldnt believe the way they behaved, if we had been an elderly couple or a woman on her own we would have been soooo intimidated I was disgusted.

Dont get a new kitchen hun, move house

That's what I don't understand, he managed to achieve his target that was to get me to do an appointment but why get on offending me immediatly afterwards when I'm still supposed to be buying material? I'm also complaining to Homebase as it is a bit misleading that they have Moben Showrooms in their premises and in a way by allowing them under their roof they are endorsing a company that, according what I found on the internet yesterday, I have no problem in bullying vulnerable people into buying, doesn't deliver in time and TBH the instalation prices they provide seems to be inflated to 300%.


PS> Please don't think I believe all British are like him, I have met lots and lots of lovely people, I just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. {{{}}}

I have no problem???? they have no problem in bullying....

Chandra - I was just wondering how you were. Not good, I take it?

no, I feel like rubish... this has come at a very bad time, I have found it so difficult to cope with living in this small city and this just looks like the final straw. I was talking with DH yesterday, these things happen all the time but it goes definitivwly agains all the odds that I get so many of them. He suggested me to move back home and that he would come to visit us a couple of months a year until he can leave his job.

I feel angry that all this is happening as a result of getting the last straw from this person yesterday but at the same time I have no more strenght to keep trying, probably tomorrow I will eel a bit different but at the moment I just feel terrible