Not scary!

(53 Posts)
StickEmUp Mon 07-Oct-13 21:40:41

If you don't believe I'm not scary then ask the Brighton Meet-Up ladies.

I'm short, skinny and totally not scary.
Loud, yes, bit 'out there' yes.

But not scary.

Why is feminism 'scary' and why this board in particular?

I've heard around these them parts AND RL it's a bit of a minefield.

Does it have to be? Yes? Why?
I think not!

BasilBabyEater Mon 07-Oct-13 21:56:20


StickEmUp Mon 07-Oct-13 21:57:54

Shit me! Don't creep up like that I'm only little!

I know why it's scary... look our basil doesn't eat babies alright!

AnyFucker Mon 07-Oct-13 22:00:48


Are you scared yet ?

StickEmUp Mon 07-Oct-13 22:07:54
SabrinaMulhollandJjones Mon 07-Oct-13 22:08:35

I believe it's scary because it might make people think. Not think, as in they don't normally think, and are dim, but 'think' as in realise that we don't have equality yet. And still do an awful lot of the housework. And childcare. And still have to look v pretty. And sexual. And yet motherly at the same time - or do we give up looking sexual so we can become motherly? And it's all our own fault anyway. Oh, I dunno! grin Anyway, we're not judged as being simply human beings, as men are.

AnyFucker Mon 07-Oct-13 22:09:24

That pussy looks like it's got fangs smile

StickEmUp Mon 07-Oct-13 22:13:48

The motherly thing makes me think.
When I found out my bits don't work I did have a 'who am I' moment.

Wierd how that happens.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Mon 07-Oct-13 22:18:23

Stickemup - sad We're seen as a sum of our functions; sexual, motherly, caring (and probably on that order) first. Human beings in our own right, second. If at all.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Mon 07-Oct-13 22:18:43


I find you deeply scary, stick.

But I think sabrina has it right. Certainly with the trolls, they seem extremely hung up on the idea of what a good mother should be and how it involves placating men.

meditrina Mon 07-Oct-13 22:27:44

There's evidence of high quality thinking in every part of MN.

I think that FWR has improved enormously of late. And the types of posting behaviour that were such a turn off to some have diminished considerably.

AnyFucker Mon 07-Oct-13 22:40:54


Feminists have a sense of humour after all...! shocker

Hold the front pages smile

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Mon 07-Oct-13 22:43:43

Mmm I like feminism. And fluffy kittens. What a quandary grin

JacqueslePeacock Mon 07-Oct-13 22:49:24

I think some people find it scary here because there's (quite a bit of) consensus, being expressed by some fairly outspoken women, in a way that might challenge the views of a lot of posters. And I have found that most people don't actually enjoy being disagreed with or asked to question their long-held but little-considered ideas.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 07-Oct-13 23:23:47

If you want scary, try AIBU.

HoneyDragon Mon 07-Oct-13 23:29:01

Fucks sake. Have I missed yet another memo on what I'm supposed to think of Mnet boards? When did the feminism is a scary place get sent out?

<<flicks through pile of papers>>

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Mon 07-Oct-13 23:30:18

AIBU, honeydragon. I was too scared to post on there wink

scallopsrgreat Mon 07-Oct-13 23:31:31

Well exactly Annie! I think in FWR too there are less posters so people get challenged directly more often. in AIBU, for example people are more likely to say "can't believe those of you who think xyz" unless the views are particularly outlandish or rude. But because there are so many more posters in AIBU it is proportionally a smaller number of posters who get directly challenged.

In AIBU it can also be easier to find someone else to align yourself with even if your view is contradictory to the main flow of the thread.

AnyFucker Mon 07-Oct-13 23:33:47

HD, your filing system is shot to pieces, mate

I don't find these boards scary, but still avoid them most of the time (unless I feel I can get into a friendly discussion about the topic, not an argument).

I'm quite comfortable and confident in my beliefs, so it's not a matter of my views being challenged on here... I can handle that. But a lot of new and/or less confident posters could absolutely be intimidated on some of these topics.

caroldecker Mon 07-Oct-13 23:56:35

find it very scary as new to all this and worried about being mistaken for troll/wind up merchant.
Writing on a board conveys very little of the emotion/tone of a post which is why many misunderstandings occur and worry about being 'labelled'

Caterpillar0 Mon 07-Oct-13 23:57:44

I'm scared of the recipes section. Freeze up

Caterpillar0 Yes, those too. Can hold my own on here; not a chance over there!

I didn't think you were scary StickEmUp. Perhaps it was the calming effects of tapas?

ChunkyPickle Tue 08-Oct-13 12:55:26

The FWR boards are scariest because more than anything they make you think, and question all sorts of things that you just hadn't questioned before.

The people are opinionated, but I've always found that unless you're being a bull-headed wally everyone's very happy to explain, and help you explore what you think (or what you thought you thought).

BuffytheAppleBobber Tue 08-Oct-13 14:08:44


That is all.

PS. I don't see FWR posters as scary at all. But maybe that's because I am one grin

YoniTime Tue 08-Oct-13 14:41:52

It's funny when there are those treads on AIBU calling FWR scary. Since the sometimes very aggressive posters on AIBU are the scariest of all MN. Actually I just think they want to bash feminism a bit when they do that.

YoniTime Tue 08-Oct-13 14:45:46

But yes women talking seriously about issues that affect us is scary I guess because we aren't supposed to do that. We should just...I don't know...stick to celeb gossip and cupcakes.
And the issues are often very scary to think about like sexual violence.

StickEmUp Tue 08-Oct-13 16:28:53

Stickemup - We're seen as a sum of our functions; sexual, motherly, caring (and probably on that order) first. Human beings in our own right, second. If at all.

Sexual: To make babies
Motherly: when you've made a baby
Caring: to care for that baby.

This makes sense positioned with the concept the oppression of women being to do with reproductive capabilities.

And don't be sad for me, DH doesnt work either!
I'm over it now, I don't think I even wanted babies I just thought I should.

How is that for IRONIC!

StickEmUp Tue 08-Oct-13 16:29:34

Sunshine spicy food makes it worse ;) hehe

StickEmUp Tue 08-Oct-13 16:30:52

Carol my first post was 'why feminism and not humanism' or words to that effect.

It was January of this year.

And look how far I've come! (joke)

78bunion Tue 08-Oct-13 17:14:32

Only lesser mortals are scared and perhaps they aren't worth bothering about.

YoniTime Tue 08-Oct-13 17:17:00

And look how far I've come! (joke)
Well you have smile

FloraFox Tue 08-Oct-13 17:53:52

I'm terrified of you lot! When you're not hating men and trying to go too far with feminism, you're just pouring scorn on little girls. Scary scary place.

BuffytheAppleBobber Tue 08-Oct-13 18:07:39

Plus restricting the choices of other women, we're all over that.

YoniTime Tue 08-Oct-13 18:13:14

And making feminine girls into boys...

78bunion Tue 08-Oct-13 19:07:27

Very few people aren't feminist. It just means equality under the law and fairness at home.

curlew Tue 08-Oct-13 19:12:19

I've just said on another thread that I generally think the anti feminists are much more aggressive and scary than the feminists.

BuffytheAppleBobber Tue 08-Oct-13 19:15:21

And also more rude and dismissive. Just sayin' like.

YoniTime Tue 08-Oct-13 19:16:56


FloraFox Tue 08-Oct-13 19:24:53

Yep. FWR has turned into AIBU today.

BuffytheAppleBobber Tue 08-Oct-13 19:26:30


Keepithidden Tue 08-Oct-13 21:40:44

I reckon you're all scary, but that's only 'cos I'm a bloke and have been hauled over the coals a few times! Some of the short replies can be a bit harsh, but thems the breaks.

Plus the academic and feminist philosphy stuff is scary in the way that it goes straight over my head most of the time and I only understand it after reading it through ten times over the course of two weeks. I don't think that's a reflection of my gender tho' (did you see what I did there?!).

MABS Thu 10-Oct-13 20:39:24

Stickemup is lovely, very funny and intersting

UptoapointLordCopper Thu 10-Oct-13 21:09:32

I want to be scary. How do I do that?

YoniTime Thu 10-Oct-13 21:30:05

Be a feministy woman obviously.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 10-Oct-13 21:37:06

Simply display an opinion that differentiates you from a doormat = scary grin

UptoapointLordCopper Fri 11-Oct-13 07:16:41

They just put you down as an eccentric ...

YoniTime Fri 11-Oct-13 11:25:38

Who do you want to scare LordCopper?

UptoapointLordCopper Fri 11-Oct-13 16:46:57

Not sure yoni. I think I'm actually already a bit scary because nobody ever accosts me on the street to ask for donations or opinions (or maybe they think I don't speak English on account of looking foreign hmm More likely?)

But I want to scare those people who spout sexist nonsense and then try to get away with "only joking". I want to scare those people who say "but of course boys and girls are different, just look at my son and my daughter" so they don't even say it and do my head in.

I think I'm just tired...and if I'm scary they won't even dare to think about talking to me and I'd be safe ...

StickEmUp Fri 11-Oct-13 19:29:47

MABS how sweet! cheque in the post, innit. grin

MABS Sat 12-Oct-13 18:56:35

Large wine when I see ya smile

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