why do feminists want to ban everything they don't like?

(143 Posts)
memberfor Sat 11-May-13 05:23:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

hairymonkey Sat 11-May-13 05:55:24

Which feminists? I'm a feminist and I don't want to ban anything.

GoblinGranny Sat 11-May-13 06:03:26

Well I'm a feminist and I hate fried egg sandwiches. But I don't want them banned as others enjoy them and....here's the key point....they don't harm anyone.
I do object to things that ate harmful to me and to others being permitted.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sat 11-May-13 06:09:42

Assuming because in their/our opinion these things are harmful to other women, especially girls. Why ^ wouldn't^ you want something banned you felt was actively harmful? Unless you're all talk and no trousers.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sat 11-May-13 06:11:20

And yes, often banning things is exactly the best way forward.
I'm sure you'll argue that correlation isn't causation

TeiTetua Sat 11-May-13 16:08:59

Member has been banned?

HighBrows Sat 11-May-13 20:47:37

Member has been banned? Yes that's cause we are feminists and what to ban everything we hate - so ergo this member had to be banned too grin

HoneyDragon Sat 11-May-13 20:53:55

I am a feminist and I would like to ban seagulls.

I'm a feminist and I'd like to ban people who don't indicate.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sat 11-May-13 20:56:58

I would like to ban sun dried tomatoes

Oh and olives.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sat 11-May-13 21:00:59

yeah chuck em in with the sun dried tomatoes, they go well together

FarelyKnuts Sat 11-May-13 21:02:18

I'd quite like to ban socks with sandals as a crime against fashion but Im not sure that has much to do with me being a feminist smile

I was ignoring you stealth because I love sundries tomatoes. I can offer feta cheese though?

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sat 11-May-13 21:05:36

feta cheese
So you like those nasty shrivelled up dead insects then?

Mintyy Sat 11-May-13 21:08:10

Stealthy I'm sorry but you can't ban sundried tomatoes (ergo you must not be a feminist) smile

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sat 11-May-13 21:10:13

FINE. If that;s the way it has to be.
I'd rather spray tan and fake eyelash 3yo DD than eat a sundried tomato. Oh and buy her a copy of "How to marry a rich man and spend your days having your nails done".

I love them.
Do you like feta? It tastes like dry, yet moist vomit.

thecatfromjapan Sun 12-May-13 10:07:17

GoblinGranny - liberals like you are digging your own graves. Hah! I am an extreeemist - a feminist extreeemist - I will force everyone to eat fried egg sandwiches!!!!

And tomato sauce.

Not sure where I stand on the sundried tomato controversy though.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sun 12-May-13 19:25:19

Ban celery. Pointless fucking vegetable.

PromQueenWithin Sun 12-May-13 20:04:05

I would like to ban loud mastication.

<avoids unfortunate typo>

YES Doctrine. Now there is a ban I can get on board with.

CoalDustWoman Sun 12-May-13 20:29:41

Thirded celery.

CoalDustWoman Sun 12-May-13 20:31:20

Especially celery in spag bol and cottage pie. and meals like that. Why do people do that?

MrsWolowitz Sun 12-May-13 20:33:59

No! Don't ban olives or sun-dried tomatoes!

I'm a feminist and I want to ban people from wearing leggings as trousers.

Where is this feminist banning team? I want to e- mail them my suggestion so they can get on with enforcing the ban.

I do love a good thread derail grin.

May I add Lapsang Souchong aka Stinky Tea to the banned list?

Celery I like <defiant> <or possibly Not A Feminist shock>

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 20:34:31

I love celery
And yes, I love feta
<rubs in miracle anti-aging, anti-blemish, anti-redness, anti-freckle, anti-bags, anti-shadow cream>
<puts paper bag over head>

nowwearefour Sun 12-May-13 20:35:37

But leggings are trousers? Are they meant to be worn as a hat or a pair of gloves???? ( not getting this point?????)

No you can't ban celery. You can't make a decent stock without it. You could introduce some regulations for its usage though because of course it shouldn't be in spag bol or cottage pie.

Aubergines should be banned, and umbrellas on busy pavements.

CoalDustWoman Sun 12-May-13 20:36:02

Oh, i love feta. Not as much as halloumi, though.

MrsWolowitz Sun 12-May-13 20:37:58

nowwearefour no no no. Leggings are leggings. They are not triusers. They are for tops or dresses that cover your arse. It's not ok to wear them with normal jumpers etc.

TheCrackFox Sun 12-May-13 20:38:36

Does anyone know where you can apply to the "ban everything feminist" Dept (BEFD). Sounds like my dream job.

Can I ban see through leggings?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 12-May-13 20:39:57

Peanut butter kitkats. Most disappointing chocolate experience of my life.

If I can't have that, then I insist on banning people from being allowed to wear their trousers lower than their underpants.

nowwearefour Sun 12-May-13 20:40:46

Oh i see !!!!!
I wouldn't wear them anyway but now I get it! Is there a new brand of leggings out there that could be mistaken for tights?

I can give you directions to the Ban Everything Department (BED) if that helps Fox? grin

Also, I'd like to ban sneaky little bastard spiders, that sneak.

tribpot Sun 12-May-13 20:54:17

I would like to ban:
- wasps
- lychees
- people who listen to music on the bus too loudly

Presumably I just forward these requests to the banning department, yes?

Actually, on second thoughts, I'd like to ban toddlers... <<sighs>>
It's been a long day

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:16:59

Why do people take aubergines onto busy streets?

I came on this thread specifically to moan about celery.
Am v glad other feminists have got there before me.

tribpot Sun 12-May-13 21:23:03

Celery is a feminist issue.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:28:40

Look I choose to eat celery. It is a choice I make as a feminist. Isn't feminism about choice?

No, feminism is about being a swivel-eyed termagant who bans things like celery. I think you must have missed the memo.

AnyFucker Sun 12-May-13 21:34:04

I would like to ban nits

EglantinePrice Sun 12-May-13 21:34:29

The more people like you eat celery stealth the harder it is for people like me to not have celery.

That's why celery should be banned. Sorry about that...

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:36:20

Even better. Compulsory celery. I'll have it blended and in the tap water.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:36:36

<scratches head>

Celery is so phallic. Of COURSE it's anti-feminist stealth hmm

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:38:45

"ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 12-May-13 20:39:57

...I insist on banning people from being allowed to wear their trousers lower than their underpants."

Going to make getting undressed difficult

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:39:43

I had no idea there were so many celery haters around
It seems feminists hate celery more than the general population

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:40:59

ewww why does my coffee taste like salad?

The general population have failed to fully understand that they do not have to suffer under the oppressive yoke of celery.
This is why feminism is so important.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 12-May-13 21:45:47

grin I will allow them to fall below during the act of dressing and undressing.

But not walking in front of me down the street!

Smudging Sun 12-May-13 21:49:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

This is what we need the FWR board for: to educate sheeples like me about the eviiiiils of celery.

<<feels castigated>>

Smudging Sun 12-May-13 21:51:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Sun 12-May-13 21:52:48

<hides thread as just too cross>

SgtTJCalhoun Sun 12-May-13 21:53:20

No, no, no NOT celery. It's one of only 5 veg dd will eat.

In addition it braises rather nicely as a dude dish.

Good with blue cheese dressing to.

SgtTJCalhoun Sun 12-May-13 21:53:41

side dish!

And too NOT to!

Wuldric Sun 12-May-13 21:55:06

Celery is feminist issue


If celery gets banned, does that mean I have to keep the Toddler shock??
Who eats NO vegetable, not even celery...

Was the toddler once offered celery? That might explain their entirely reasonable attitude of vegetable refusal.

Dreams of a world without celery, where toddlers can be free to experiment with veg.

DUDE DISH!!! KLAXON! Get her out! shockshock

<Shuffles Sgt off the thread>

Do dudes eat braised celery?
Glad I am not a dude.
Having to eat stringy mushy wet celery, and wear fashionably tight trousers, you couldn't pay me enough.

Wuldric Sun 12-May-13 22:04:38

What about concealed celery


I mean like in a ragu - say in spaghetti bolognaise or something?

Toddler has never interacted with celery of any kind, braised or not.
Just all out refusal of all vegetable matter.
Unless it can be used as a missile...

Sgt is a dude IMO...

TheCrackFox Sun 12-May-13 22:19:47

You are in denial if you think your toddler has never interacted with celery - we live in a celeriarchy.

SgtTJCalhoun Sun 12-May-13 22:20:31

It's ok, it's ok! I AM a woman!

Don't know where that "dude" came from <<shudders>>

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sun 12-May-13 22:26:52

Stealth celery like that is the WORST, Wuldric.

Denial is my middle-name grin

<<squinty-eyed suspicious look at Sgt>>

Acherly, on a serious note, I am dying to know what the OP said and why MNHQ deleted the OP but left the rest of the fred grin. I approve, of course, but am curious...

AnyFucker Sun 12-May-13 22:27:50

grin @ celeriarchy

The DM will be in a tizz because we've caused Celeriarchical nightmare and now all the celery farmers will be poor and will be doing Sad Daily Mail Faces

Ps that's not a DM link.

grimbletart Sun 12-May-13 22:31:46

I put celery in a cottage pie (once). Does that mean I cannot be a feminist? sad

grimbletart Sun 12-May-13 22:32:56

I do realise that while feminism entitles me to choose, I should be more aware of the impact of my choices on society.

Must write 100 times "the personal is political".

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sun 12-May-13 22:33:05

You can renounce your former actions, then you'll be fine.

You will be frisked at meetings for celery, though.

grimbletart Sun 12-May-13 22:33:25

When it comes to celery of course...

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sun 12-May-13 22:34:24

What do we want?
Equal salaries!
What don't we want?
Frickin' celery!

grimbletart Sun 12-May-13 22:35:31

Gosh and here was I thinking it was What do we want? - equal celeries"

TheCrackFox Sun 12-May-13 22:35:31

Any minute now we will have those tossers from the CRA movement telling us to chill out and that it is totally fine to put celery in a casserole.

<I'd like to know why the op got deleted too.>

grin 'equal celeries' - genius!

It is not possible to conceal celery in anything cooked - its horrible, 'back-of-mouth' flavour pervades everything it comes in contact with.

Can I send a request to ban tinned baked beans to the BED dept., though please? grin

CoalDustWoman Sun 12-May-13 22:43:26

Braised celery? As a side dish?

I know this has turned into a joke thread an all, but you've gone too far.

You'll be saying that waldorf salad is empowerful next and i'll have to hide the thread. <sad>

The OP got deleted for asking twerp questions like the title of thread and also trolling a suicide thread.

We never found out their position on celery but I bet they were a wrong 'un who was mad for the stinky whiskery stuff.

louisianablue2000 Sun 12-May-13 22:50:12

I eat celery, I like that it stays hard for ages and particularly enjoy chopping it up into little pieces (crunch, crunch, crunch). Does that qualify me as a feminist?

chipmonkey Sun 12-May-13 22:51:43

My hopes really went up when someone said "dude dish" I htought there was a new cookbook out for the menz.

CoalDustWoman Sun 12-May-13 22:52:37

I hate the sound of chopping too.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sun 12-May-13 22:54:26

I thought that, grimble, but then I realised we don't want equal celeries cos we don't want any celery!

CoalDustWoman Sun 12-May-13 22:54:52

chop chop chop chop chop chop

Shut the fuck up!

Especially on a glass board. Who on earth thought they were a good idea?

So, now we are chopping phallic celery in to little pieces, are we?
We don't just simply ban everything we don't like, we destroy it.

Die, die, die, celery
<Psycho showerscene music>

SgtTJCalhoun Sun 12-May-13 22:59:16

Glass Boards, I despise them. Utterly senseless. Why would someone DO that?

Sunnywithshowers Mon 13-May-13 00:38:46

Fucking glass boards. Call me a humourless fucking feminist but they can totally get to fuck. <fumes>

<only just managing to leave off crying with laughter at the Sad Faces page> Celery is perfectly feminist when chopped up into little bits and cooked. It's no longer willyish in the least.

Sunnywithshowers Mon 13-May-13 03:09:26

There used to be a football song about celery that was banned - it went something like: Celery, Celery, if she don't come I'll tickle her bum with a lump of celery

Tortoiseontheeggshell Mon 13-May-13 03:25:24

Me: "Why has a thread been allowed to stand with a deleted OP" <two seconds later> "Ohhhhhhhhh".

I don't believe anyone really likes celery, do they? It's false whatdyamacallit. False consciousness. False celeriousness.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 06:27:03

Op said something like why do fwminjsts just want to ban everything? When is that the way forward?

And I DO like celery. But I feel the same about aubergine people may claim to like itto be cool but no one actjally does. And cake that isnt chocolate. Everyone goes on abt how they love a nice date and walmut or carrot or lemon drizzle cqke but put it in a workplace alongside a chocolate cake and see which one youre trying to find a wrapper for at the end of the day

Erm stealth I'd appreciate if you didn't talk on my behalf thank you. I happen to love a lemon drizzle cake and as a feminist, if there is a choice, I will make it, once I have all the cakes information laid out in front of me.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 08:36:16

I caught a glimlse of that in threads im on didnt see which thread. My heart sank wondering who id managed to offend now smile

Oh Sunny FFS I am going to have that song in my head all day now...

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 13-May-13 12:23:29

I am a lemon drizzle positive feminist. Harmful practices like lemon drizzle punching are completely up to the individual cake and have no impact on wider cake society.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 12:24:57

Bollocks. If there was a LDC and a gooey chocolate cake in an empty office with no CCTV you'd be face down in the chocolate one and then claiming it "fell on the floor". And accepting a "teeny piece" of your favourite LDC.

Actually in that specific situation I'd have a fucking massive slice of each. grin

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 12:49:41

Yeah right. I defy anyone to choose fruit or vegetable based desserts over chocolate.
Unless youre a grandad. Then yiu actively like all that date and fig crap

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 13-May-13 12:55:20

You're not a believer in frozen grapes, Stealth?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 13-May-13 12:56:34

(Talk about false fucking consciousness. Frozen grapes as "candy").

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 12:58:49

No I tried it once. They hurt my teeth, gave me brain freee, and tasted like grapes that had been kept too close to the back of the fridge

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 12:59:35

But I realised as I was writing that FIL, eg, likes apple crumble etc. Dad likes figs in madeira wine with vanilla cream - all that sort of nastiness

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 12:59:58

I go for the sophisticated DEATH BY CHOCOLATE option

lisianthus Mon 13-May-13 14:45:50

I'd go for chocolate cake, particularly with cream and cherries, unless the lemon drizzle cake has whisky in the lemon drizzle. Then it's a vital medicinal cold cure.

I hereby apply for a carve-out in the banning of celery for when it is used in a Bloody Mary. Happy to balance that with an increase in penalties for prohibited uses such as braising. That's just sick and weird.

Sunnywithshowers Mon 13-May-13 15:30:48

But you're all discriminating against Victoria Sponges. What's wrong with you?


magimedi Mon 13-May-13 15:39:14


No - they are royalist bastards.

I'm standing up for figs - figs are bloody lush.

Victoria Sponges are RadFems compared to Battenberg cakes <<spits>>

Can't we just allow all cakes?? <<bleeding-heart liberal --greedy pig-->>

greedy pig

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Mon 13-May-13 20:43:36

"I defy anyone to choose fruit or vegetable based desserts over chocolate."
you didn't taste the rhubarb trifle I made this weekend. Figs, however, can fuck off.

Well, your standard Victoria Sandwich (ahem) is vastly improved by the addition of dark chocolate and creme eggs into the mix.

All cakes should at least get a consideration not to be banned unless they contain both chocolate and orange

StealthOfficialCrispTester Mon 13-May-13 21:08:49

Ive just made a salad witb five sticks of celery. Less for the rest of you

CoalDustWoman Mon 13-May-13 21:41:25

It's the likes of you, Stealth, that are perpetuating the proliferation of celery. Just because you think you're not harmed...

Sunnywithshowers Tue 14-May-13 00:17:34

<cries about the poor Victoria sponges>

TeiTetua Tue 14-May-13 01:28:40

It's a constant feminist issue--if a woman and a man have jobs on a farm, or in a restaurant, or in a supermarket, the man will always have the higher celery.

And you should see what happens when they both take jobs as stalkbrokers.

BelleDameSansMerci Tue 14-May-13 07:01:50


TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 14-May-13 07:21:27

Ah, Tei, the woman needs a celery braise.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Tue 14-May-13 07:46:42

Oh my husband buys the celery obviously. I just slice it and add it to salad

I am ridiculously heartened to have come onto this thread specifically to advocate for a ban on celery only to find the general consciousness already raised barring a few backsliders who will be Dealt With come the Glorious Feminist Revolution

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Tue 14-May-13 09:36:20

MoonlightandRoses - Creme EGGS? In CAKE?

Tell me more. Tell me much, much more.

<Fondant Is A Feminist Issue>

Lio Tue 14-May-13 10:29:38

Oh my gosh, marking my place: I have to know about the cake/creme eggs collision.

AmandaPayneNeedsANap Tue 14-May-13 13:22:32

Oh gosh. I always thought I understood choice feminism, but I have been actively choosing to eat celery all these years. My actions have been upholding the celeriarchy and undermining the wimmin. How on earth do I redeem myself? Should I burn the celery in my fridge - and how on earth does one get it to catch?

EldritchCleavage Tue 14-May-13 13:36:21

Stepping on to the thread to demand the return of celery. And yes, I even like it braised. That's my choice, yah, as a feminist, to surrender to the stalkocracy. Plus you can't make Ina Garten's shrimp salad properly without it.

I'm a radfem, too. I eat radishes.

And as for figs, I've got a recipe for fig and pear crumble that would convert the lot of you. If I shared it, that is. Which I won't.

Cake-wise, I'm all for inclusivity. Eat them all.

Indeed, in a cake...what you do is take your standard Victoria Sandwich recipe, and;

Substitute drinking chocolate for a quarter of the flour required
Add in an extra 60 - 70gs of v.dark chocolate, melted
Mix and dump into cake tin
Take a couple of packets of mini creme eggs that have been residing in the freezer and gently push into the cake mix, small end down
Only push in far enough for the mixture to cover as they'll sink a bit themselves during cooking
Place cake in oven at 160° (or equiv) for around 40 mins

Alternatively, and I haven't tried this, you can make the chocolate cake mix, cook (but at 180° for around 30 mins), cut in half and used smashed up creme eggs for the filling instead of jam.

And there are people who prefer celery! Emmeline and Christabel didn't go to all that trouble for celery, you know. wink

YoniTime Tue 14-May-13 16:19:35

I'm so confused. I don't know if I'm being feminist or not when i eat...I dislike celery and radishes. But I love chocolate cake. Is that feminist?

Definitely. grin

Cream Eggs are wrong on many many levels: feministically, cake-ally, even vegetably. Just Wrong shockangry.

I cannot believe that in this day and age, Cream Eggs <<shudder>> are still mentioned in polite society. And I thought this was an enlightened forum!


EldritchCleavage Tue 14-May-13 17:27:09

Is 'hoiking' feminist?

My bosoms are more RadFem than me, I have you know

(.)(.) - not hoiked
(+)(+) - hoiked

Sunnywithshowers Tue 14-May-13 18:54:43

My bosoms are far more upfront than I am Pacific - particularly when they're hoiked appropriately. smile

But, but, but, umm they are a strong design with the odd weak point and, umm, well, err.

Oh sod it - they taste good and I defy you to eat a slice and not come back for just a bit more (sort of like feminism). So there! wink

TeiTetua Tue 14-May-13 21:07:35

What, a slice of bosoms? I am confused...

No, a slice of creme egg Victoria Sandwich. Have provided recipe up thread.

Would have thought eating bosoms would be rather fatty. grin

CoalDustWoman Wed 15-May-13 18:05:51


Stealth, see? Pictured today. No bugger wants celery. Ha!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 17-May-13 09:23:42


CoalDustWoman Sun 26-May-13 19:36:27

That ended up as a private joke between me and...me, didn't it?

I seem to kill a lot of threads grin

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 27-May-13 00:10:03

It was funny grin

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