Am I having a soh fail Here..?

(40 Posts)
feministefatale Mon 04-Feb-13 03:02:53

It's a tradition for companies to air their best commercials during the super bowl. Audi had this to offer. Not sure if it's appropriate when we have a huge problem with sexual harassment in schools to let boys think this is okay. I think it's assault

Grockle Mon 04-Feb-13 04:19:47


I'm not sure but it certainly made me feel uncomfortable. And it didn't make me want to buy an Audi.

AbigailAdams Mon 04-Feb-13 08:18:13

It is another message to boys that it is OK to erode women's boundaries. And also the whole possessiveness and violence of the other boy to hit him is not exactly great. Women aren't possessions.

KRITIQ Mon 04-Feb-13 10:22:02

No sound card here, but from what I can see, the messages are nasty on so man levels.

- Having a posh car can make up for your poor social skills/lack of status/inferior masculinity (but that is of course that is the idea most car companies peddle.)

- In order to "get the girl," you have to be aggressive and controlling.

- If she resists at first, don't worry, she'll give way and enjoy it if you persist.

- Conquest is the only important thing, not having a relationship. Once you've got what you want, celebrate (in this case it's a kiss, but could be any sexual act.)

- Women are possessions to be owned by a man, perhaps stolen or purloined by another, but their well being must be governed and defended by men. Challenging a man and taking his "property" is brave!

Oh, and yes, they cast a conventionally handsome young man to play the unpopular, unattractive character, yet again.

Having said that, I don't believe teenagers will watch that and suddenly think, "Oh, I was wrong about this courtship thing. THIS is really how you do it." I think sadly, it comes fairly close to reflecting current norms and values related to young people's intimate relationships. So, if anything, it will be seen by most people as apt, as clever, as something to stir the loins of men and remind them of their entitlements.

feministefatale Mon 04-Feb-13 13:48:22

I found the most upsetting aspect of the commercial that she initially starts to push him off then, enjoys it.

If he had been driving around in his car thinking he was the the dog's bollocks, kissed her then got a punch in the eye from her. think they could have salvaged it.

It would have been still wrong, but she'd have kind of won in the end, and they could have put a "caution may cause extreme confidence" or something underneath.

Or they could have just had him ask her to dance and her say yes and then she kiss him. But where is the fun in consensual sex I guess.

elskling Tue 05-Feb-13 01:50:23

Gosh, to me, (not a femenist) you all sound completely mad! They were only kissing! How on earth could that encourage sexual harrassment? Besides, people have to take responsibilty for themselves. The example that annoys me is when people say that models and celebrities are to blame for anorexia in teenage girls. Being slim and beautiful is their job. I feel really out of it having read this. I am a stay at home wife and mum, and I suppose I must have missed out on all this hype!

weegiemum Tue 05-Feb-13 01:56:21

Well disk ing, I'm a sahm and wife (wohm 2 days a week) and I'm not mad or obsessed or anything else. That ad is pure sexual harrasment in a very short film. Nasty, nasty stuff, especially if women are supporting/condoning it.

FloraFox Tue 05-Feb-13 01:57:05

Yes you're quite right, you are out of it. If you want to understand the "hype" maybe read a bit and don't jump in insulting everyone.

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 01:59:16

the hype

Feminism has been around a good long while you will find. So if you were out in a club and a guy held you and stuck his tongue down your throat you wouldn't slap him? You would of course enjoy it and kiss him back despite being their with a date?

Or is it just teenagers who should expect to be sexually assaulted?

people have to take responsibilty for themselves.
And this ^makes no sense. How should she take responsibility for others kissing her?

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 02:00:07


Tortington Tue 05-Feb-13 02:12:07

i dont see the prblem on a feminist level - on a -material wealth gives you confidence to kiss a prom queen bollocks - its well...bollocks. but i can't see the hysteria behind it

TheCatInTheHairnet Tue 05-Feb-13 02:13:11

I think you're grossly overthinking this. It's a Superbowl advert. Half of the fun of the Superbowl is watching the adverts. They're supposed to be a bit out there and ones you would talk about. There was a GoDaddy one that had a model snogging an ugly bloke for far too long and there was a VW ad where a white guy from Minnesota speaks in a Jamaican accent. Both of which were more offensive imo, but I wasn't offended by any of them.

You need to take the ad in the context it was being shown.

TheCatInTheHairnet Tue 05-Feb-13 02:14:29

I forgot to add, the Audi ad was my out and out favourite of the night. Really made me laugh.

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 02:16:32

The problem is he didn't go up to her and ask her, he grabbed her, didn't give her any choice and that at first she even puts her hands up as to push him away..then suddenly is "in to it"...

That women really like it and will like it if you start touching them even if they don't want it at first is a myth we have all been trying to dispel since.. for ever pretty much.

It's also the standard for a helluva lot of porn that teenagers are watching now. It's a dangerous game IMO

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 02:18:26

So if you were out in a club and a guy held you and stuck his tongue down your throat you wouldn't slap him? You would of course enjoy it and kiss him back despite being there with a date?

So you guys would both be ok with the scenario I posted above?

Godaddy are perpetually vile.

TheCatInTheHairnet Tue 05-Feb-13 02:26:49

No not at all. Of course not. And neither would I be happy with my teenage son did that either. But that's the thing, my teenage son (and all of his friends) can see the difference between an Audi Superbowl advert, that is meant to get people talking, and real life.

Tortington Tue 05-Feb-13 02:27:16

reading way too much into it

in a club

i might slap him
i might enjoy it - despite or becuase i was there with another date - i mean who is to say that as a woman i sshould conform to a 1 male 1 female sexual relationship?

that is offensive about this advert - the assumption that women like tiaras and dreses and hetro rrelationhips

and that girls like dancing

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 02:35:32

No not at all. Of course not. And neither would I be happy with my teenage son did that either. But that's the thing, my teenage son (and all of his friends) can see the difference between an Audi Superbowl advert, that is meant to get people talking, and real life.

So real life has nothing to do with popular culture?

TheCatInTheHairnet Tue 05-Feb-13 02:47:11

No, I don't think real life has got that much to with a SUPERBOWL advert. That's half the point of them.

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 02:49:25

I really don't see what it being a SUPERBOWL advert has to do with it? So anything goes? Sexual assault is ok in the name of the Superbowl hmm

Tortington Tue 05-Feb-13 02:55:17

sexual assault ffor fucks sake

TheCatInTheHairnet Tue 05-Feb-13 02:55:42

My point is Superbowl ads are supposed to be contentious. They're supposed to be ones you talk about more than a regular ad. They're very often on the edge of what can be considered good taste. It's part and parcel of thd whole night. You eat chicken wings, you cheer for your team and you talk about the adverts. But they're about as far from real life as adverts get.

If you're honestly that offended, perhaps the best course of action would be to NOT talk about the adverts.

GothAnneGeddes Tue 05-Feb-13 03:12:50

Fuuuuck that's nasty.

I hate the "Big Car, Bag Trophy" bollocks in most car adverts. (P.S Audi, women may want to buy your cars too).


I hate even more the way consent and seeking consent is repeatedly portrayed as unsexy and unnecessary.

In the awesome "Gift of Fear", the author asks us to think of how many films, tv programmes and books show women as not really saying no, you just have to be persistent and wear them down. It's just another way of treating women as not quite human in comparison to a man.

Also, I didn't need to overthink much at all, it's obvious to me.

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 03:34:38

If you're honestly that offended, perhaps the best course of action would be to NOT talk about the adverts.

Yes, that works wonders, just stop talking about things that upset you. Especially when discussing the Holy Grail that is Superbowl where everything goes and pushing boundaries makes for a great telly and it is all OK because it the SUPERBOWL.

It is awful Goth isn't it? Reminds me of this. Just wish we had come a bit further in 60 years

kim147 Tue 05-Feb-13 07:16:51

Isn't that the way in most films? The man comes over and kisses her. If she resists, he kisses harder and she gives in sad

So many messages given off by advertising at the moment about how women should be seen.

TheFallenNinja Tue 05-Feb-13 07:23:22

I'm a bloke, I'm not offended by the ad per se, I just think its rubbish. How many times do they need to keep rolling out the nerd takes the girl from the jock storyline.

It's like Groundhog Day.

TheCatInTheHairnet Tue 05-Feb-13 15:01:31

Ok, I'm clearly not getting my point about it being the superbowl over correctly. I don't mean it as it's the holy grail. I meant that advertisers spend millions of $$ creating adverts that are meant to make you laugh/annoy you/make you talk about it. That's part and parcel of the whole occasion, which is why I said about the context of the commercial. For the advertisers, all talk is good talk. That's what I meant by not talking about it. The worst thing for the companies involved is people ignoring them.

Fwiw, I get my feminist knickers more in a twist that there is a national institution that involves grown men basically kicking the shit out of each other while they throw a funny shaped ball around, and only allow women and girls to join in if they wear short skirts and wave pom poms.

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 15:17:11

I see your point, I understand how Superbowl works, I just disagree that we shouldn't comment when things upset us. Yes, most of the adverts are to get us talking but I think most of the companies want it to be in a positive light. Godaddy very obviously excluded, they are vile, I know about their model making out with nerd advert but I am not sure if they went for their traditional method of making an advert so inappropriate they make you go online to see it?

I think Audi need to realise that people don't find this sort of thing funny and that boys especially need to learn that women and girls should consent before sexual contact. That does included kissing, if my daughter said a boy held her and kissed her with no prompting or with out any reason to believe she wanted to be kissed... I'd have to restrain myself form ripping his balls off

What happened to the poor girl in Steubenville, didn't come from nowhere.

As for football and scantily clad dressed women who aren't paid for their service I obviously agree with you. Still feel consent is a more important issue though

TeiTetua Tue 05-Feb-13 17:22:52

I think the watchword should be, "This is all being done for money." Yes, the ads are designed to be memorable--and here we are remembering them. If they offend a section of the audience, or people who hear about them afterwards, that may not be a drawback, if the same features increase the "memorable" effect on the likely customers.

Given that this is a major sports event, the average viewer is probably assumed to be male. The people who make the ads must believe that they're making a successful appeal to that audience, and they're paid huge amounts to get it right. Will the Audi ads attract or drive away customers, that's what they care about.

kickassangel Tue 05-Feb-13 19:22:34

The fact that it's the Superbowl makes it worse. It has vv high viewing figures, and this advert is normalising the idea that girls want men to 'take them'.

There are so many things in this advert that are perpetuating sexism and making it appear OK for these things to exist. Because it is on TV, and shot in hi-def, it makes it appear glamorous/sexy etc and therefore desirable. If it didn't, they wouldn't be using it in the advert.

Just from one viewing, I saw
- mom's perspective being ignored, what do women know?
- fast/loud cars give you power & confidence, even to the extent of taking what isn't yours (principle's parking space, another man's girl)
- women/girls like fiaries, pink, dancing, shoes & being grabbed roughly to be 'given one'
- that if you stick it to her good, she'll become not only compliant but also willing
- gaining possession of forbidden fruits (car, parking, women) is fun, exciting, empowering
- girls, like cars, are owned by men and are there for the taking


Threads about the media where people say 'it's only TV' drive me crazy - I can't believe how naive people are and that they seem blind to understanding how much goes into pre-production. These messages are not sent by accident. It is DELIBERATE, KNOWING AND PLANNED. A group of people WANT us to see these things and have these beliefs.

Never underestimate what the media is attempting to do.

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 05-Feb-13 20:20:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 20:52:42


Brilliant fucking point Kick ass. It has been over thought to death by them and they thought it would sell cars and a "life style" too. So they were willing to pay the most expensive advertising prices all year for the privilege of showing a sexual assault.

SGM, I am interested in your blog, if it is public? Ignore if you don't want to link, thanks

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 05-Feb-13 22:29:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kickassangel Wed 06-Feb-13 00:36:06

I've added my post to my blog - feel free to use it.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 06-Feb-13 07:23:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sashh Wed 06-Feb-13 08:51:43

But that's the thing, my teenage son (and all of his friends)

So a small group of males. A lot more don't see the difference. A lot think they have a right to kiss, slap, rape a woman.

AutumnMadness Wed 06-Feb-13 12:32:52

Vile advert. Definitely teaches young men that the way to get a woman is to just grab her and force her to submit. And the fact that women are up for grabs. And this on top of the posh car = social success bollocks angry

Startail Wed 06-Feb-13 12:47:01

That's horrible and wrong.
Walking up to a girl and forcibly kissing her without her consent is assault.

I assume her BF is meant to have given the driver the black eye.

So not only do we have sexual assault, we have feeble woman needing her knight in shining armour to rescue her.

I often get slated on this board for wanting a moderation in feminist responses to things, but this is simply wrong on so many levels.

Please could those who write far more eloquently than me, on these matters, complain.

feministefatale Wed 06-Feb-13 14:09:23

Great blog SGM

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 06-Feb-13 18:43:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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