God help is all.

(47 Posts)
poorbuthappy Mon 28-Jan-13 19:08:11

I have just be called a "Tard" by someone on facebook because I object to my 8 year daughter seeing the cover of Nuts magazine in my local supermarket petrol station.

And the worse thing is that it was a woman who typed it. blush

I really don't know what to say anymore.

rosabud Mon 28-Jan-13 19:16:39

A tard?? What, as in short for "retard"? How horrible! Sexist and disablist and rude and nasty and horrible. What is this person doing on your facebook account??

mcmooncup Mon 28-Jan-13 19:18:58

I don't know whether some misogynistic mist has been added to the air in the last 6 months, but I'm generally struggling with the general consensus on 'sexism'.

I had a little cry just yesterday after a particularly vile feminist baiting lunch out sad

I getchya OP

poorbuthappy Mon 28-Jan-13 19:20:57

They aren't. I posted a comment on the relevant supermarket's page on FB and the comments have been atrocious. She apparently thought it was ok for my daughter to see soft porn and i called her on it. I am sat here shaking with anger and to be honest disgusted with the world in which my 3 daughters have to grow in.

poorbuthappy Mon 28-Jan-13 19:21:36

Grow up in obviously!!
So annoyed.

rosabud Mon 28-Jan-13 19:27:39

Yes but she takes the dress off during the performance, so it's a further link to the sex industry, it's a bit like stripping, do you see? I don't recall any gymnasts removing their tracksuits/dresses etc as part of the sport - because it's not lnked to the sex industry, do you see that? Gymnasts have their hair tied back because it's sport not, sexual pole dancing, do you see? Most gymnasts wear all in one leotards, quite often with long sleeves, because, in gymnastics, being a sport, the strength and suppleness is easier to observe through the smooth lline of such a sports outfit. The pole dancer is wearing her bra and knickers because she is not doing a sport where the main emphasis is on strength and suppleness, she is performing a dance which has close links to the sex industry which is why there is a tendency to do it in bra and knickers, do you see?

I do agree the fact that pole is a phallic symbol may require insight rather than just the abiity to spot the obvious, so I will let you off that one.

The fact that you do have trouble grasping obvious lines of argument, however, does rather suggest something about the level of intelligence of people who enjoy pole dancing.

rosabud Mon 28-Jan-13 19:28:51

Oh sorry, put that last reply under the wrong thread! Will post it in the right place now!

rosabud Mon 28-Jan-13 19:33:18

Sorry, oh I see so the person, at least, isn't a friend of yours. I think it's appalling. I'm continually shocked by current attitudes and anger towards women who voice their concerns. There are a lot of threads on this subject on here right now - it's all very depressing.

LineRunner Mon 28-Jan-13 20:28:19

OP, Well I'm glad you posted your comment as you did, and the stupid and offensive replies are just that ... stupid and offensive.

I'm afraid FB is not fully inhabited by the sentient or rational.

feministefatale Mon 28-Jan-13 20:46:03

Please respond under that you won't listen to the rantings of a sexist and disablist person and that the store in question should remove the comment as well.

chocoluvva Mon 28-Jan-13 20:51:46

Block this woman's posts.

This lady is being hostile because she either feels guilty about something or feels threatened by you.

She's not worth giving a second thought to.

poorbuthappy Mon 28-Jan-13 20:55:39

We are getting on for over 200 comments where ignorant people are just posting random sexual words.
I am not posting anymore but I really want to know how to stop getting notifications cos it is driving me mad.

Apparently I am being unreasonable.

CaseyShraeger Mon 28-Jan-13 21:00:03

If you go to the post in question there may be an "Unfollow post" link at the top.

chocoluvva Mon 28-Jan-13 21:00:11

This type of thing happens on MN too, IMO - someone will politely say they dislike swearing on MN and sure as anything the thread will soon be full of people posting horrible swear words.

Sorry - that's no practical help - there's a techie site on Mn - 'geeky stuff'?

MrsWolowitzerables Mon 28-Jan-13 21:05:53

I'm so sorry that you are getting such abuse.

It must be very hard but don't let it upset you. The people being abusive are ignorant, small-minded and must be of very limited intellect.

Hope you're ok thanks

poorbuthappy Mon 28-Jan-13 21:08:05

I'm going to delete the post now. As much as I don't want to, I'm not sure what else to do!

DadDancer Mon 28-Jan-13 23:40:04

rosiebud So if you consider this to be inappropriate behavior as in:

A tard?? What, as in short for "retard"? How horrible! Sexist and disablist and rude and nasty and horrible. What is this person doing on your facebook account??

then why do you think it is acceptable to then to use a similar insult directed at me? as in:

The fact that you do have trouble grasping obvious lines of argument, however, does rather suggest something about the level of intelligence of people who enjoy pole dancing.

LineRunner Mon 28-Jan-13 23:44:47

But that's not a similar insult, DadDancer. The first is a comment on a remark that is disablist; the second is a comment on something you appear to have said in support of your enjoyment of pole dancing?

Darkesteyes Mon 28-Jan-13 23:51:48

I got into a massive row on fb last year on a womens weekly magazines fb page .
This publication has developed an intermittent but nasty habit of printing articles about people on benefits but focusing on the women.
(in fact they did another just last week on single mums)
There were loads of nasty comments on there about how "she shouldnt have opened her legs" if she cant afford not to claim.
I called them on the mysogyny and i was the only one calling them on it. I was pissing in the bloody wind.
Most of them rounded on me because they have spent too long reading that tripe to be able to think for themselves.
Arguing on fb is a hiding to nothing.
So what did i do instead last week?
I let the girls at vagenda know about it. They are fabulous at critiquing these rags.
Easier simpler and saved me wasting my time arguing with people who have had such a long diet of reality shows and celebrity culture that they cant see the bigger picture.
The person who made the open legs comment was a woman.

DadDancer Mon 28-Jan-13 23:53:23

That is no defense linerunner at the end of the day they are both insults criticizing someones intelligence and they are both unacceptable.

LineRunner Tue 29-Jan-13 00:01:54

Still can't see the equivalency, DD.

Blistory Tue 29-Jan-13 00:05:40

Why does it ALWAYS come back to a man asking 'what about me' ?

DadDancer Tue 29-Jan-13 00:06:31

Are you trying to insult my intelligence too Linerunner?
and why are you so quick to come to Rosadbuds defense? hmm what does it matter to you?

LineRunner Tue 29-Jan-13 00:11:46

Are you feeling all right, DadDancer? You seem awfully angry.

Blistory Tue 29-Jan-13 00:12:40

Am I reading the same thread ? The OP posted about her 8 year old daughter being exposed to the crap that is nuts and was attacked online for daring to express an opinion on this.

But Daddancer manages to turn it around to how a poster said something on another thread about his intelligence.

This isn't about you.

LineRunner Tue 29-Jan-13 00:19:56

Darkesteyes I hate that expression, about the legs.

Darkesteyes Tue 29-Jan-13 00:25:34

Me too Linerunner. It really got my blood pressure up at the time. I dont bother with fb much anymore. I still have an account but use it to talk to friends and to post comments on other sites.
Some sites wont let you comment in their comment sections underneath articles unless you have a fb page which i find SUPREMELY irritating.

LineRunner Tue 29-Jan-13 00:35:56

I've got a horrible feeling I've heard it being used by Jeremy Kyle. Or does he merely say 'Shouldn't have laid down on your back, then' to the young women on his show in a derogatory way?

Booyhoo Tue 29-Jan-13 00:42:10

i think i've heard JK say something along the lines of "you should've kept your legs shut then shouldn't you"

OP i know exactly what you are talking about. it has happened to me aswell and it is very hard not to give up and delete your comments. but i think it's better to let it stand, let their comments stand and let everyone who knows them see them for what they are. also, teh supermarket running teh FB page should definitely be responsible for what is posted and what is removed. they shouldn't allow sexist or disablist comments to stand. i would contact them and ask them to remove all offensive comments.

Mitchy1nge Tue 29-Jan-13 00:44:54

OP is it ok to ask which supermarket?

(please don't say waitrose)

Darkesteyes Tue 29-Jan-13 00:47:03

Cant stand Jeremy Kyle. But i have caught the odd clip of it and have noticed his vitriol and mysogyny towards young women that appear on his "tv show"

Darkesteyes Tue 29-Jan-13 00:51:22

Kyle and shows like it are aimed at the same people who i was arguing with on fb
who read the rags that print the same hate articles about women.

LineRunner Tue 29-Jan-13 01:04:56

I don't use FB but I'd also be interested to know which supermarket.

poorbuthappy Tue 29-Jan-13 07:07:26

Out self completely.

Has anyone seen their facebook page? Full of trolls who comment randomly on other people's questions.
Also when I checked it had gone last night 1 of the really charming people had posted a parody of my original post.

How I did not resort to swearing and general abuse I will never know.

poorbuthappy Tue 29-Jan-13 07:08:42

Well I do know, because I am intelligent and know the different between a Salvador Dali painting and pornography. Yes really that was 1 of their arguments.

After a couple of late miscarriages, I was pregnant again after only a couple of months of trying. The obstetrician showed surprise that I was "back again already" and called my a "dirty girl". When I was having my 20 week scan with the twins, he said he couldn't be certain of DD's gender, "because she's keeping her legs together, unlike her mother".

He also had an annoying habit of only talking to DH during my appointments and basically ignoring me or only talking about me in the third person, even though I was right there!

I didn't feel I could complain because he was the only obstetrician at our NHS hospital who specialises in high-risk twin pregnancies.

tribpot Tue 29-Jan-13 07:31:23

Jesus Christ. You absolutely must complain, ThreeBeeOneGee. If you don't feel you can do it now (and you should), once your pregnancy is over.

This happened nine years ago.

tribpot Tue 29-Jan-13 08:13:43

Is he still working there? I would still think about putting in a complaint. Maybe have a look at Patient Opinion - they are very active on Twitter.

I will do; thank you for the link.

feministefatale Tue 29-Jan-13 19:26:38

Oh three that's horrible angry what an absolute shit. You should complain, I don't care how long ago it was.

BTw you lot are horrible to poor widdle daddancer, he just wants to discuss the awesomeness of pole dancing on the feminism section of a website called mumsnet. What's he done wrong? Oh an obviously calling someone a tard is just the same as insulting someone's intelligence....

AbigailAdams Tue 29-Jan-13 19:37:21

Oh Three that is so awful. How can anyone with those views sustain his job. Someone is upholding him somewhere. And people deny we live in a patriarchy hmm

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Tue 29-Jan-13 20:03:35

Christ, three, how terrible.

Darkesteyes Tue 29-Jan-13 21:56:54

Three thats awful. What a bloody shitbag. He does NOT deserve that job. Arsehole.

Darkesteyes Wed 30-Jan-13 22:21:21

JESUS i have just been to my fb home page and the hateful comments i have seen.
Apparently This Morning had a couple on there today who said it wasnt worth working blah <right wing propaganda> blah.
And the comments coming to my fb page are nasty sexist and mysogynistic to say the least.
An example...."Lazy sluts who see popping out sprogs as a moneymaker do not deserve child benefit" That is just one of the comments. Im so bloody fed up with this We have programmes like TM who are aimed at the same idiots who read things like Closer Heat and the Daily Mail. In fact one person on the thread linked to the Mail to prove their point.
Im so pissed off with fbs attitude to sexism and mysogyny i want to disable my account.
I did it once before 2 yrs ago but changed my mind several days later. I dont think i will change my mind this time.
Think this is my final straw. Why cant people see it FFS. Im so pissed off with the hateful mysogyny i see on fb from some users. I found this extremely upsetting tonight. End of the rope.

Darkesteyes: are these your friends making these comments?

Darkesteyes Wed 30-Jan-13 22:43:52

Not really. People i used to know through an old job. But ive decided rather than just defriend i will disable the whole account. Im fed up with the attitudes towards women that is allowed on fb and in certain tv programmes. Last time fb gave me a date that was a fortnight away "in case you change your mind" im guessing.
Those comments on my feed are a small part of a wider problem. im just sick of the attitudes. Sorry im still seething.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now