Seriously peed off at work today!

(20 Posts)

I used to work in Facilities Management, my female boss and I were once in a meeting with 8 men and the one that had called the meeting looked at us and said which one of you will minute the meeting. My boss said, you know the rules, you called the meeting, you minute it. It was a brilliant way of cutting down on meetings.

banned861 Sun 17-Mar-13 11:24:18

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SkaterGrrrrl Tue 23-Mar-10 13:44:54

Actually this has just made me realise that in my team all the women take it in turns to minute team meetings and the one male team member never does it. I'm going to suggest he does it next time!

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 22-Mar-10 06:58:25

This kind of nonsense used to crop up for me quite a lot but but I took the same approach as SGB. Just used to laugh at the suggestion that I'd be either minute taking or making the tea. To be fair, although most men I've worked with don't behave like that and are appalled when others do. I think, reading some of the threads on here lately, that I've been lucky in my "choice" of industry - Telecoms/IT - which is fairly male "dominated" but they're mostly fairly egalitarian.

phokoje Mon 22-Mar-10 05:12:20

i actually cant imagine that particular man ever daring to be that aggressive to another man. it happened only because i am a woman. and of course, because he knew there would be no repercussions.

but you know its funny, i have worked in the UK, USA, Australia, Africa and the Middle East and frankly my worst experiences have been with british men over the age of 50 (in various of those countries, not just in the UK) but i suspect that had alot to do with the particular industry.

SugarMousePink Sun 21-Mar-10 20:05:08

Phokoje shock charming - not! That was completely disgusting and out of order! Bet he wouldn't have done that to another bloke...he'd have been leathered for it.

phokoje Sun 21-Mar-10 12:45:10

i used to work in construction......nevermind it being male dominated it was also very aggressive.

i even had one man spit at me in a board meeting. this wasnt the uk though, as i suspect in the UK i would have had much better recourse than to just quietly gather my things and walk out.

what was really galling about it though was the email i got straight afterwards by the managing director (who was IN the meeting, and did NOTHING) congratulating me for 'not rising' and staying calm!!!!!!!!

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 18-Mar-10 23:49:12

Good, hope it spreads grin

SugarMousePink Thu 18-Mar-10 20:59:12

PML - Elephants I will def be using that one! grin

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 18-Mar-10 13:28:18

I instituted a "circle of trust" at work, when the only man on the team refused to make tea ever on the grounds of being "too busy" (unlike us of course). He was almost in tears of disbelief when we stopped making any for him. Got him up off his arse and into the kitchen sharpish.

Perhaps not appropriate in a meeting, but when told something by my colleague like "women can't operate cameras" I find an apt response is "Why? Do you prop it up on your knob?"

Beautifully handled, SMP. I remember once at a meeting where I was the only female, getting up to drag the coffee trolley across to the table and announcing with a big grin 'Don't think I'm doing this because I'm the only girl in the room, I'm just dying for a cup of coffee.'
Just to keep the buggers on their toes.

sprogger Thu 18-Mar-10 08:32:39

Perfect response, SugarMousePink.

Portofino Wed 17-Mar-10 22:05:34

Good on you for not giving in!

SugarMousePink Wed 17-Mar-10 21:53:15

Lol Portofino - that's definitely feminism winning the day!

I had taken a pen and paper in with me - but I always do this when I go to any meeting as I have the memory capacity of a goldfish... I suppose if I was being 100% fair there may have been an element of "well you've got a pen and paper handy"... But sod that! Just because the two blokes didn't think to take anything with them, and even if they had I'm 99.9% sure that I'd have been eyed up for minute taking anyway!

I just smiled sweetly and pointed out that I'd minuted the last three meetings so it was someone else's turn now. A bit of sputtering and "well I've got no paper etc." was soon sorted by me passing over a sheet from my pad and finding a spare pen! The results were pretty shit but I think I got my point across.

It's such a boys club in there. To be fair, I get on well with them all, we socialise and have a laugh etc. but I know I don't get taken seriously or included in half of what gets sorted out. They all go off and play golf together - I don't ever get invited despite the fact that they all know I can play. Fair enough; we don't need to live in each other's pockets and I socialise regularly with others in the office and don't invite them. The difference is that I don't roll in the next day talking about a work related deal which has been ironed out on the golf course, that affects the whole team but that I have had no involvement at all!

CMOTdibbler Wed 17-Mar-10 21:44:43

When I was based in the factory, the enviroment was overwhelming male, and there were only 3 non admin women in the place.
One day an email went out that was only women saying that everyone had to take turns manning reception - including us 3 non admins. Apparently it was assumed that we'd be willing to do it too hmm

Mind, at conferences it is frequently assumed that me and colleague are booth totty (and god knows, I'm no lycra clad lovely), and we get raised eyebrows when you say 'yes, that would be me you need to talk to about ...'. One even said (after being introduced to me as the responsible person for x) said 'hmm, you do seem to know a lot about this'. A customer who I know well commented after that it was the lack of beard and socks/sandals that was my downfall

State in a robotic voice "a womb is not a tea making/ (insert as appropriate)" device, repeatedly. In my house it is "locating" device.

Portofino Wed 17-Mar-10 21:34:29

Thinking about it - I married one of them! blush. He makes ME tea now. In bed. grin. I kick arse!

Portofino Wed 17-Mar-10 21:32:32

I used to work shifts with a group of blokes, who actually said <<out loud>> "the one with the tits makes the tea!"

I used to tell them to piss off. I'd bet I have a better job than the rest of them now.

blinder Wed 17-Mar-10 21:19:52

Wrong wrong wrong!

I watched 9 to 5 with my pre-teen ds the other day. Take a leaf out of their book, string your boss up with bungee ropes and install a crèche and flexitime at work. Or just go with the rat poison. I love that film...

I spect you had to do the minutes in the end SMP? At least it wasn't you getting the bollocking.

SugarMousePink Wed 17-Mar-10 21:14:11


Big boss was in the office today (he doesn't come in that often as he is based elsewhere location-wise). He said that my team needed to have a meeting about targets etc.,summoned my two colleagues (by name) into the meeting room, then when I looked round he spotted me watching and said "oh you might as well come in too - I don't want you feeling left out!". Then when I got in there, he asked if someone would take minutes and they all (inc. him) turned straight round to look at me!

WTF? Did I miss something in my contract of employment that states that because I have tits I'm not actually a "proper" employee and therefore worthy of attending these piss-arse meetings?! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! angry

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