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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Mortgage AIBU

16 replies

Usernamegone · 24/11/2016 21:21

AlBU to think this is possibly slightly sexist/old fashioned. My DH and I have a joint mortgage. The mortgage advisor put me down as first applicant as I earn more DH does. Hence on all documents and on their systems my name appears first (as all letters are addressed to my name then husbands name). Today, the mortgage company rang my DH on his mobile and not me to discuss our mortgage deal ending. Surely, they should attempt to contact both of us (like the letting agent did when we were joint tenants) as it is a joint mortgage, or ring me first as I am listed first. When they ran DH told them to call me as I deal with finances (and they still didn't call me!)

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Prawnofthepatriarchy · 24/11/2016 22:32

That's outrageous! I'd be hopping. Bollock them. If they'll speak to you, of course. Grin

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Meadows76 · 24/11/2016 22:34

Surely, they should attempt to contact both of us (like the letting agent did when we were joint tenants) as it is a joint mortgage, or ring me first Well they can't phone you both at the same time?

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Inthenick · 24/11/2016 22:36

I've a better one. Husband keeps getting communication about repayment of something to do with our property. And the refund cheque keeps coming in his name. He's not even on the mortgage OR the house deeds! I had to spell it out for them after they kept saying 'maybe your husband could give us s call to approve this'! Outragous.

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PippaFawcett · 24/11/2016 22:41

Inthenick, outrageous.

It works the other way too.

DH is named as the first contact at the DC school, he works from home and can get to school far quicker than me. But I always but always get the phonecalls from school for any incidents. Wifework.

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Usernamegone · 25/11/2016 07:45

Of course I know that they can't call us both at the same time but it would have been logical to call the person listed on the account first (then leave a VM if there is no answer) then call the second account holder (then leave a VM if no answer)

Instead they didn't call the first account holder and just called the second (who happened to be male) who said to call the first account holder. The first account holder (me) had no missed calls or a VM all day.

However, I do appear to warrant an email confirming they spoke to my DH, but obviously I am not special enough to warrant an phone call.

I haven't even told them im married yet (as when we took the mortgage out we weren't) so they can't use the mr and mrs naming convention as an excuse.

I will call them today to show them I can use a telephone

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GazingAtStars · 25/11/2016 07:48

I can't even fathom how you've managed to get wound up about this

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PlayingGrownUp · 25/11/2016 07:57

You were on a dialler. A call centre will be given a massive list of numbers to call about a specific topic. The system will go through and call as many as possible first person to answer gets spoken to and it often will redial before it even connects with a phone. If someone answers and says to speak to the other person / call me back later / etc then that account goes to the back of the queue.

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BakeOffBiscuits · 25/11/2016 08:02

I don't think it's a personal thing.
Dh are joint names on all household stuff but I always get phoned first.

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user1471461436 · 25/11/2016 08:04

IME One particular door and double glazing company are particular bad for it and after repeatedly being arsey about not speaking to me despite me being on the bill and being in I told them they had to wait to speak to my husband after I had finished cooking his tea and filling the tin bath full of hot water after hed returned from down t'pit. They didnt find it very convenient I must say

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user1471461436 · 25/11/2016 08:06

By the way I am northern and have a northern accent so Im not taking the piss there

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Meadows76 · 25/11/2016 08:10

Instead they didn't call the first account holder and just called the second. Does your OH reaslise you don't consider him and equal but merely a secondary?

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Inthenick · 25/11/2016 08:24

Meadows, 1+1 doesn't =3.

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M0stlyHet · 25/11/2016 08:31

I can't even fathom how you've managed to get wound up about this

Well here's one very concrete reason - when a lot of the mutuals decided to float themselves on the stock market with a share issue a few years back, the automatic issue of shares went to the first named account holder, rather than being split between the two account holders - and that, coupled with the "oh it doesn't really matter, it's just a convention" decision to make the man first name account holder meant that lots of men got issued with shares and hardly any women.

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BolivarAtasco · 25/11/2016 08:40

You are not alone. I put my name down as first applicant because I was the higher earner and in fact DH's salary wasn't even being taken into account.

When we got all the forms back, they had transposed our names and put him as the main applicant.

I was livid. I should have complained but didn't because I thought they would just think I was mental.

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ChocChocPorridge · 25/11/2016 08:41

We could easily have been left without electricity/with bad marks on our credit rating had I not opened DP's post while he was away for a couple of months, the rental agency had also ignored our choice of primary contact in favour of signing DP up to the billing accounts, and they sent them to him.

These issues, be they poor customer service, or sexism, have real-life practical effects (M0stly's one is HUGE for instance)

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downwardfacingdog · 25/11/2016 18:09

I would be very annoyed by that. I have my name first on our joint account because it's alphabetical.

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