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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

cheque made out to dp-please help me write a response?

28 replies

PinkPizza · 25/10/2016 22:02

I have spent 6 months writing emails/letters and having phone calls with a company regarding a complaint and they have now sent my DP a cheque because "on reviewing the correspondence which has gone before you have clearly taken considerable time to correspond with our office regarding this matter and in recognition of this we enclose a cheque in your favour as a gesture of good will"

Every single payment and correspondence with this company for 10 years has been in my name and I am so angry that I am finding it hard not to come across as ranting and irrational, I want them to take me seriously but everything I write seems to come from a place of rage and as I'm sure they already have me down as a pain in the neck because of months of complaining I'm over thinking it even more. Can anyone please give me some ideas to help me be clear and concise?

OP posts:
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gettingtherequickly · 25/10/2016 22:04

I suppose cash the cheque and move on is not what you're looking for?

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gettingtherequickly · 25/10/2016 22:05

Who's name was the account in? That's who they will need to write the cheque to.

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ShatnersBassoon · 25/10/2016 22:06

Where did they get your partner's name from?

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DartmoorDoughnut · 25/10/2016 22:07

Email/letter from your DP saying "thank you for your response and the cheque. However please address all correspondence to my DP who is the person you have been dealing with & receiving money from for he last decade. She looks forward to receiving the letter and cheque from you. Best, DP"

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FinallyHere · 25/10/2016 22:09

Ideally, treat it quite straightforwardly, as if a simple admin mistake had been make. I'd return the cheque and explain

'Please find enclosed the cheque sent to me ... There appears to have been a misunderstanding, the cheque not been made out in my name. . . Please arrange to have a replacement in my name xxxx issued by return. Many thanks in anticipation etc '

All the best...i feel your pain.

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karalime · 25/10/2016 22:12

Send it back with a simple 'thank you but you have addressed to the wrong name and so I cannot accept it, please reissue with the correct name as stated on the account'.

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LassWiTheDelicateAir · 25/10/2016 22:13

Why do they know your husband's name?

We made the mistake when the internet was invented of putting our Internet service in my husband's name simply because the phone bill was in his name. Neither of us really understood how the internet worked. Now he still doesn't understand it but I do. When we upgraded to broadband my bank account was used to pay for it.
When we changed from Orange to BT as we need a landline and the landline number was in his name the BT broadband went in his name although I pay for it.

If BT had to compensate us by cheque they would have to pay it to him as the account is in his name although it is me who would have done all the ranting and hard work.

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Lorelei76 · 25/10/2016 22:17

Id do what Finally suggests.

you definitely put through the original payment yes? Just checking as I'm wondering how they got his name.

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LifeLong13 · 25/10/2016 22:19

Cash the cheque then write to them saying they have not dealt with your complaint as it wasn't your DP who raised it.

Thames water always address things to my DH even though I have always paid the bill out of my account. It doesn't matter how many times I bloody correct them it still says Mr Lifelong13

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LassWiTheDelicateAir · 25/10/2016 22:22

We don't know what the company is but as others have said if it is something like a utility provider it is completely irrelevant who does the grafting and complaining or pays for the service. Any payments will go to the person in whose name the account stands.

OP hasn't explained if that is the case and/or how the company knows she even has a husband.

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LassWiTheDelicateAir · 25/10/2016 22:26

Thames water always address things to my DH even though I have always paid the bill out of my account. It doesn't matter how many times I bloody correct them it still says Mr Lifelong13

You need to get the name on the account with Thames Water changed then if it bothers you.

It is completely irrelevant whose account the money comes out of. If I were to set up a standing order to pay Mr Lifelong's water bill it would still be his account with Thames Water.

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usual · 25/10/2016 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkPizza · 25/10/2016 22:43

The account is in joint names and we changed it years ago to make me the primary name on the account. It's a maintenance company for our home so they got the names when we purchased from the solicitor as we had to make a payment to the building float along with the purchase of the property

OP posts:
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LassWiTheDelicateAir · 25/10/2016 22:48

Send it back then and ask for it to be issued in the name of the primary account holder.

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Heratnumber7 · 25/10/2016 22:54

They can only pay out to the account holder, regardless if it's a spouse or Father Christmas who is paying the bill.

Actually I'm surprised that they were prepared to discuss the issue with someone who isn't the account holder.

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Lorelei76 · 25/10/2016 23:00

Oh with that clarification I'd not only ask for a new cheque but tell them they're bring sexist.

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ChocChocPorridge · 26/10/2016 07:50

You guys are all very kind to these companies! She's been corresponding with them for 6 months, they reference that correspondence in the letter with the cheque, and yet still send the cheque to the wrong person (who as she has clarified, is the primary account holder)

I have an ongoing complaint with an energy company - I've designated my father to deal with it as I'm out of the country, I've had to write multiple letters granting him permission to do this on my behalf, yet, now that the ombudsman has 'resolved' the issue, it's dad that apparently is getting compensation and his credit record ensured as clear. In EVERY contact, it was made clear that my father was a consultant, not the complainant, but they still can't get it right.

It's not acceptable, it's not excusable.

Is the cheque for a lot of money? If you really need it, then cash it, and write a frosty response. If you can wait/risk it not being re-issued, send it back with a frosty response, and get them to clarify the primary account holder and correct it.

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DartmoorDoughnut · 26/10/2016 08:23

They probably wrote the cheque out to the first named person on the account

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ChocChocPorridge · 26/10/2016 09:24

Dartmoor - OP says upthread that she had already contacted them about that, and that she is the primary account holder. Also, the letter references her communications, her name must have been right in front of them. Any way you slice it, it's a weird decision (or a sexist one).

This continual excusing of this behaviour is insane!

Barclays started putting DP's name first when I added him to my account (not alphabetical before you ask) - I complained, they corrected it. Shouldn't have happened, but was fixed, and the only way this will be fixed is if we complain, and make people think before they automatically act like this.

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AndNowItsSeven · 26/10/2016 09:27

You are being really petty, it makes no difference to whether you will have the money.

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BertrandRussell · 26/10/2016 09:30

"They probably wrote the cheque out to the first named person on the account"

The op has made it clear that they didn't.

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ChocChocPorridge · 26/10/2016 09:33

AndNow - it might do - if they have separate accounts.

It did when DP and I were renting a house, and despite me being their point of contact, both primary, and habitually, the agent wrote an important letter which required a prompt response to DP whilst he was in Hong Kong for 6 weeks. If we had been a couple who didn't open each other's post we would have been in real trouble because of that lazy sexism.

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DartmoorDoughnut · 26/10/2016 12:36

Sorry I didnt read the update - had already posted up thread where I did not excuse the behaviour Hmm

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KatharinaRosalie · 26/10/2016 12:41

DP should write that there has been some misunderstanding, he has never corresponded with them, and he would certainly remember doing this over a considerable time. And they might want to review their records and send the compensation cheque to the person who was actually spending considerable amounts of time and efforts in sorting out those issues.

I'd cash the cheque though, money is money Grin

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FoxesSitOnBoxes · 26/10/2016 12:48

I'm of no use to you because that would make me all angry and emotional and not able to get my point across.
We had similar with the AA: I spoke to them and arranged and paid for family cover (all by myself using my woman's brain) and added my husband's name. He is in the army and was away for 6 months. A few weeks later I needed to call them about something on the account and the absolute fuckers wouldn't talk to me. Needed to be the main account holder. Shit heads.

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