Sexism being served in shops?

(14 Posts)
LibbyElla Sat 10-Sep-16 17:02:06

Does anyone else find that male shop assistants sometimes treat male customers better than they treat female customers?

I went into a petrol garage this morning to pay and there were 3 men ahead of me in the queue. The male cashier was very friendly and polite to them all, calling them Sir. When it was my turn the cashier didn't acknowledge me at all, didn't speak to me apart from saying the amount I had to pay, no thanks when I'd paid, nothing.

A man was after me in the queue and I heard the cashier say "Good morning Sir" to him.....

If I ever go into a shop with my DH and it's the type of shop where sales assistants approach you, male assistants will always approach him rather than me, and look at him throughout the whole transaction. It even happened in our local butcher's shop, when I was trying to buy meat and my husband was with me and he kept saying "Is this amount ok, Sir?" even though it was me that had gone up to the counter and was requesting the items!

PinkyOfPie Sat 10-Sep-16 23:10:08

It depends what we're buying, can't say who they first approach bothers me too much (DH has a friendlier face than I do) but I did get very pissed off on a flight once when the air steward said to DH 'would you like a coffee sir?' then to me 'would you like a coffee love?'. If he's sir I should be fecking Madam! <seethes>

VestalVirgin Sun 11-Sep-16 10:24:44

I did get very pissed off on a flight once when the air steward said to DH 'would you like a coffee sir?' then to me 'would you like a coffee love?'. If he's sir I should be fecking Madam! <seethes>

Instruct your husband to reply with "thank you, love" next time the steward gives him his coffee, or at the next opportunity a person like that talks to him. Perhaps those guys will then notice how inappropriate that is.

I rarely go to shops with males in tow, so wouldn't have noticed. And probably wouldn't notice them approaching the male first, because I am rather shy and look unapproachable so I would blame it on that.

SnugglySnerd Sun 11-Sep-16 10:28:46

I feel a bit like this about my job, I'm a teacher. Male teachers are always Sir, females are always Miss. Obviously this is completely ingrained in all children in all schools but it drives me mad, it seems so much less respectful than Sir. I don't know how I could start to change it though.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sun 11-Sep-16 11:29:25

Obviously this is completely ingrained in all children in all schools but it drives me mad

Is it? At my school (Scottish state school in the mid 60s to late 70s) teachers were addressed as Mr X, Mrs Y or Miss Z. My son's school (Scottish fee paying mid 90s to late noughties) ditto (other than adding Dr for the ones who were PhDs)

Maybe it's a Scottish thing but I don't recall ever calling a teacher sir or miss; I can remember a primary teacher quite specifically telling some one not to call her "Miss"

JacquettaWoodville Sun 11-Sep-16 13:02:10

Certainly at my primary school, it was sir and miss.

PoisonWitch Sun 11-Sep-16 13:58:17

I've been in schools where it's Sir and Ma'am.

dodobookends Sun 11-Sep-16 14:14:56

At my school it was Sir and Ma'am (to rhyme with arm, not jam)

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 11-Sep-16 14:21:39

I notice it the other way round in bars
Younger fmale bar staff will usually serve men of any age ahead of me, unless I lean across the bar brandishing my tenner. Male bar staff usually serve in the right order, apart from one local one who always, without fail, serves the pretty young women ahead of anyone else. It's quite funny as we've started saying loudly, "Ooh look, there he goes again" when he does it.

SnugglySnerd Sun 11-Sep-16 15:41:44

Ma'am is certainly more respectful, I think I'd feel like the queen!

LottieDoubtie Sun 11-Sep-16 15:45:47

I've known schools who do Sir and Ma'am and ones that do Sir and Madam.

Never worked in one though sadly. I agree 'Miss' is not actually an equivalent term. It does open up a conversation with sixth formers about feminism/ every day sexism though which is good- because to them they don't mean any disrespect with the term and often haven't thought about the words they use and what they actually mean.

SnugglySnerd Sun 11-Sep-16 16:02:46

Actually what really riles me is when other teachers address me as Miss in front of the children.

IfTheCapFitsWearIt Sun 11-Sep-16 16:03:35

I've not come across it in petrol stations or retail shops, but then I'm very forward.

Also if looking at cars or anything else that dh and me do together, I always take the lead(dh hates dealing with people), so if they initially look and speak to dh but I take a step forward and answer, if they don't take that cue then dh will refer them to me.

I think it is bad what you have described. Do you use that garage often? If you do, maybe try looking them straight in the eye and exclaim "good morning/afternoon/evening" making him have to formally acknowledge you. Do it every time.
(To be honest he sounds like a twat)

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sun 11-Sep-16 17:54:13

I've not come across this in bars but I do tend to be very forward too.

Husband and I are rarely in shops together, we tend to buy even big items separately. We did buy 3 new bookcases together recently - 3 different shops and in each one the male assistant sort of focused on a spot in the mid point between us with "good afternoon etc,etc" then dealt with which one of us replied first.

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