My neighbour came over today to tell me that he had been watching me through my bedroom window

(51 Posts)
CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 20:54:13

hmm

I have logged it with the community policing team.

He called over with post for the previous occupant of his house who is a friend of mine. I said I would pass it on then he asked if he could come in for a cup of tea. It was very odd as I have only ever spoken to him twice before on the street but I said OK and invited him in. I have recently moved house and suspected he wanted a nosey as mine is a new build. Made him tea and sat down in the living room, he made small talk about my new house for a minute then asked if I had moved because of him. I had no idea what he meant so asked him and he said he thought I knew he had a thing for me. I burst out laughing and said I hadn't a clue and assured him that wasn't why I moved. Then he said that he used to watch me through my bedroom window when I would do my make up and sometimes when my curtains were shut there was a gap he could see through. I tried not to freak out and told him that I had to get ready for work and asked him to leave . he kept asking for reassurance that he hadn't made me uncomfortable?? I said I hadn't a clue he had been doing it. He made a joke about only having a hairy man to look at now (new resident of my old house) and I laughed and told him I really had to go and get ready for work. He knows that I know where he works and asked if we had any friends in common and I said I didn't think so(we do). I think he was wondering if I was likely to tell this to anyone that knew him. (I fucking will be doing!) I got him to leave and then it dawned on me that I had thought I had seen him lying on his bed in a peculiar position facing my bedroom one day months ago. At the time I took a photo and asked my friend if it looked like he was watching me. Neither of us were sure so I just assumed he was watching a movie on his bed or something and I closed my curtains.(it was daytime) I phoned my friend today after work to tell her about his visit and she convinced me to phone the police, because he works in a leisure centre with access to changing rooms.so I have done and they've made a report. I have felt like vomiting all day long. What a scummy bastard. And he is also married.I am so angry. The fact that he sought me out to come and tell me this! angry

MadrigalElectromotive Fri 29-Jul-16 20:59:09

Urgh. Poor you. You've done the right thing to tell the police. flowers

Felascloak Fri 29-Jul-16 21:01:07

Creepy fucker. Keep your eye out for him and log anything else with the police, also make sure all your social networks are locked down. Ugh.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Fri 29-Jul-16 21:08:09

It makes you feel creepy and dirty like nothing else doesn't it! I had similar about 6 years ago, a neighbour from across the way (block of flats) left a bag outside my door with a pair of gross old net curtains and a note saying he'd been watching and I should use the curtains to remove temptation from him hmm I was freaked out, but also very embarrassed. I didn't have net curtains at the time but also never changed in front of the window, mindful of a car park and road (and occasional window cleaner!) I eventually told my dad cos my dh worked away and I was scared to be alone in the flat. He went and 'had a word' with the bloke, told him if he even glanced in my direction he'd be back and not just to 'chat'. I was never so glad as when we finally sold and could move out! You've done the right thing op!wine

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 21:11:59

Oh zigzag you have just reminded me that this guy used to be a window cleaner!! He's done this before hasn't he? Ugh. I do feel disgusting that he was watching me. I don't think I ever changed infront of the window with curtains open but I still feel so violated.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Fri 29-Jul-16 21:18:10

Misses the point but I'm really confused by your post and who was in and is in which house.

Felascloak Fri 29-Jul-16 21:23:54

lass she recently moved house and a neighbour tracked her down to tell her he missed being able to watch her from his flat. Ugh

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 21:27:53

I used to live across the road from creepy man. Before he moved in to the house I was very friendly with the lady who lived there before him which he knew as the first time we met he had asked if i knew her. He came to my new house today under the pretence that he had post for that lady.

How did he know where you lived now you've moved??

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 22:19:38

He said he'd been in my estate to get some sand from the building site and saw my car behind my house. I still live in the same town.

Doinmummy Fri 29-Jul-16 22:21:20

I'm confused . Did creepy man live opposite you in your old house ? You have moved to a new house and he has now moved opposite you again ?

Doinmummy Fri 29-Jul-16 22:22:40

Was he stealing sand from the building site ?

Sounds pretty stalkerish to me. I'm glad the police have been involved, you definitely did the right thing by calling them flowers

Lorelei76 Fri 29-Jul-16 22:24:47

Sorry OP but is there any other way he could have your address? Seeing your car and bringing the post because of it seems very random.

If he comes by again, don't answer the door. Do you still have that photo?

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 22:30:44

Yes i think stealing sand from the building site. He was with a man who I know has something to do with the site but i'm not sure what so maybe he had permission but I don't know for sure. The building site has been locked up for months.

I moved house, he has stayed in the same one opposite my old house. My new house is pretty close to the old house so not out of the realms of possibility he has seen me driving in or out or something. He has a dog so could have walked by and seen me cutting the grass or playing with DC in the garden.

I don't have the photo but my friend should have as I don't think she has changed her phone or deleted our chats.

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 22:31:20

Oh I definitely won't be letting him In!

Doublemint Fri 29-Jul-16 22:32:28

Sounds to me like he was obsessed with you and has lied about how he found you at your new house. He just happened upon your car? What had he done memorised your number plate? Sounds like BS to me.

Dont let him in ever again, Id be concerned he may be watching you in your new house or workplace. He obviously is desperate for your contact.Where does he work? Does he still work there? Full or part time etc? Keep a log of EVERYTHING even if it just seems odd and not directly related to him.

That bit where he was asking about mutual friends- I read that as him wanting to find out how he could see you more, not necessarily him worrying who you would be telling.

Youve done nothing wrong this guy is a total creep. X

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 22:37:54

I don't know how to c&p on this kindle but yes good point about the question about mutual friends! I hadn't thought of that. I think he still works in the leisure centre, not sure If full or part time. When he first arrived today I asked if he was off work today, just making chit chat and he just said yes. I'll definitely bee keeping an eye on this and logging anything.

Doublemint Fri 29-Jul-16 22:41:22

That's all you can do. Depending on how you feel is consider getting an attack alarm too. Even if it's just to make you feel better. So sorry this happened to you, hope who is ever in your old house now isn't having it happen to them!

Doinmummy Fri 29-Jul-16 22:43:08

Could you go with a friend to his house , make sure his wife is home and tell him ( and his wife) that if he comes anywhere near you again you will go to the police ( he doesn't know that you already have )

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 22:43:51

Well according to him its a hairy man living there now which I don't think interests him hmm

Good idea about the alarm too.

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 22:45:24

I don't know if I want to give him any more reason to be in contact with me. He was so brazen, I could totally see him coming back here at another stage to respond to me if I went to his.

Doublemint Fri 29-Jul-16 22:54:53

Also going to his house to talk to him and his wife would break any fantasy he has made up in his head and could make him angry. God knows what relationship he thinks he has with OP. Better go NC with him I think. Or at least only communicate if he directly contacts you. Maybe look up stuff on how to cope with stalking, as I think this is what this is. Or voyeurism?

Either way him coming in for a cup of tea could be interpreted by him completely weirdly.

And the fact he has said new neighbour is a hairy bloke tells you hes been watching again- urgh!

CreepyNeighbour Fri 29-Jul-16 23:00:27

Yes he clearly has still been watching! Hoping for another poor woman to letch over.

Yep I would worry that if I went to his house he could ComE Here angry afterwards when he knew I was alone. I think its pretty wrong he came here and told me all this today with my DC in the other room. All I could think was how to get him to leave without him getting really creepy and my kids seeing me freaking out. My friend asked why I didn't just tell him to fuck off but I really thought pretending I was fine with the conversation and just needed to go to work was the best way to get him out without incident.

FreshwaterSelkie Sat 30-Jul-16 06:10:31

How awful, OP. You're right to listen to your gut feel, this man is displaying worrying behaviour.

There is some good advice here on dealing with stalking. Might be worth getting in touch with them for a chat through and a bit of support.

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