Can someone explain the term 'slut shaming' to me please?

(16 Posts)
Cocolepew Wed 09-Mar-16 12:24:43

I thought it meant it was used in the context of trying to shame a women about the amount of sexual partners she had.
But I've seen it used a lot now in ways that don't make sense to me.
KK has said she was being slut shamed for her naked pictures, what did she mean by that? confused

PalmerViolet Wed 09-Mar-16 12:32:10

I think she's probably right.

Slut shaming can be used to try to shame women about the number of sexual partners they are perceived to have had, but can also be used to hold women to higher levels of 'moral behaviour' than men are.

It's why men post revenge porn. It's also why men who sleep with many women are studs, and women who sleep with many men are slags.

Patriarchy sucks.

BayLeaves Wed 09-Mar-16 12:39:40

I tried explaining it simply but gave up.

All I can say is the movement against slut shaming represents an attempt at shifting our thinking when it comes to women and what they do with their bodies.

The old way of thinking was "You shouldn't call a woman a slut based on her looks. Just because she wears a short skirt, doesn't mean she sleeps around!"

Nowadays it would be "Regardless of whether she sleeps around or not, regardless of what she wears, you should not be shaming her for it".

The underlying message is that women shouldn't be judged on their appearances or sexual behaviour when the same standards do not apply to men.

True, some male celebrities would be laughed at or criticised by some for publishing naked selfies but the overall tone of the public reaction would probably be very different.

Women are so restricted in what we can do without being judged.

Cocolepew Wed 09-Mar-16 12:42:30

Thanks. Kim should have a word with her husband then…

rumbelina Wed 09-Mar-16 12:44:16

Quite, Coco

NNalreadyinuse Wed 09-Mar-16 12:48:47

I agree with all of the above but I still don't want to see constant pics of KK naked women. Especially when it is naked women in pop videos, when you don't have the equivalent for male pop stars. I want to see an end to women taking their clothes off in order to achieve fame/success.

PalmerViolet Wed 09-Mar-16 12:51:31

NN, I agree.

There's a weird thing in society where, on the one hand women are constantly subjected to judgement by the male gaze, and on the other, they are slut shamed if they cross some arbitrary line.

partialderivative Wed 09-Mar-16 12:56:33

The underlying message is that women shouldn't be judged on their appearances or sexual behaviour

Thoroughly agree with that!

when the same standards do not apply to men.

Maybe not the same standards, but men are judged all the time on their appearance.

Icompletelyunderstand Wed 09-Mar-16 12:57:50

I would take it to mean any attempt to make a woman feel embarrassed or ashamed for her perceived lack of sexual modesty. That might be the number of partners she's had, or is open about having had, or the way that she dresses or speaks or anything else.

I think it's only slut shaming if a man would not attract the same negative attention for doing/saying/behaving the same, so it's a double standard.

Cocolepew Wed 09-Mar-16 12:58:15

I think thats what confused me NN. Most women have boobs, any of us could take naked pictures and stick them online, but why would you want too? It wouldn't feel empowering to me, I don't need anybody elses validation about my body.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Wed 09-Mar-16 13:37:02

I struggle with this, I have to say. I don't want to shame any woman for her choices. But equally I don't feel that posting a naked pic on Twitter is a choice particularly worth celebrating. I don't know how to square the two things, if I'm being honest.

WomanWithAltitude Wed 09-Mar-16 20:15:59

For me it's about shaming a woman for any behaviour that goes beyond the 'good girl' standard society has traditionally set when it comes to sexuality. So naked pictures, skimpy clothing, no. of partners, enjoying sex, type of sex etc...

I personally don't think putting naked photos online is genuinely empowering. If it was, men would be doing it. It's sexist bullshit.

Having said that, I don't think women should be shamed for doing so.

TeiTetua Wed 09-Mar-16 23:12:15

"Slut shaming" is bad if that's what's happening, but maybe the people who trigger that rebuke really want to say "She's making a fool of herself" or "That's inappropriate clothing for the occasion". Our society doesn't generally give men the opportunity to wear skimpy clothing in public, so when someone does it it's almost always a woman. At what point can we say we think it's wrong and how can we express it--never?

WomanWithAltitude Thu 10-Mar-16 06:57:22

Really? What about when men wear a pair of shorts and no top at all in the summer?

Men expose their bodies all the time. The only difference is that they aren't sexualised when they do.

WomanWithAltitude Thu 10-Mar-16 07:28:24

Which is the key thing. A man wearing a vest and shorts would never be described as "wearing skimpy clothes". But a woman would.

Similar to how women in the public eye are often described as "flaunting their curves" etc. when actually they're just wearing normal clothes.

wherethewildthingis Thu 10-Mar-16 07:47:46

Kim can post whatever naked selfies she likes, I don't give a shit. But I'm not going to think of her as some kind of embodiment of feminism until she stops starving herself and undergoing major surgeries to ensure she embodies a male fantasy of what a woman should look like at all times. Or maybe takes her vile mysoginist of a husband to task .
She can post what she likes but actually, in doing so she is reinforcing the view that young women have to look a certain way and that their bodies are primarily for sex and for men to look at. I think by calling it "slut shaming" she is trying to side step that issue.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now