Hello darlin'

(23 Posts)
WaitrosePigeon Sat 30-Jan-16 09:12:10

Paying for petrol yesterday evening. Greeted with Hello darlin'. I know it's probably innocent from their stance but I cannot stand it.

I go to this petrol station regularly so I rather not cause a fuss but it's just so patronising, isn't it?

0phelia Sat 30-Jan-16 10:51:04

It's slighly better than "Smile darling".

But it's a bit presumptuous, if this person doesn't know you. One calls one's loving partner 'darling' not a random stranger.

Did they perhaps think that they know you?

partialderivative Mon 01-Feb-16 18:07:22

How about "Morning sunshine!" is that patronising?

I use that quite a bit.

PalmerViolet Mon 01-Feb-16 19:43:41

Yes.

DrSeussRevived Mon 01-Feb-16 19:54:44

Partial, do you use that in class to your students? If so, I'm guessing that you are going for patronising, right?

Anniegetyourgun Mon 01-Feb-16 20:12:46

I don't mind "hello darlin' " as long as it's in the same tone of voice as "hello mate" used to a male customer. Strictly speaking I am not, and never would be, their darling but then again the guy behind me probably isn't their mate either. It just means "I recognise you, female/male person". There are class and regional connotations. I think it's done better in those places where everyone is "love" regardless of age, sex or any other distinguishing feature - but again there's a lot in the tone.

Pannn Mon 01-Feb-16 20:13:33

I only ever hear"hello darlin'" in a cockney accent.

I usually find a nice straight fwd "hello" works well.

OhShutUpThomas Mon 01-Feb-16 20:15:02

I don't have a problem with it. All the people I know of who would say it also say 'hello mate' or 'alright pal' to men.

It's just friendly to a lot of people.

OhShutUpThomas Mon 01-Feb-16 20:15:55

And same as lots of women I know who call everyone 'love' or 'pet,' male and female.

Pannn Mon 01-Feb-16 20:16:56

Except if I'm addressing a bunch of students - then it's "hello boys and girls" which is deeply patronising but in an endearing way. I like to think.smile

As a bloke though the "mate" from strangers grates a bit. I'd imagine I'd find 'darlin' a bit off, but then I could be being a bit stuffy.

candykane25 Mon 01-Feb-16 20:17:11

I say that to male and females but only the ones I know!
In my northern town though, it's common to be address as love by everybody, regardless of gender. It just means "person". Hello Person. A longer form of saying hello.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 01-Feb-16 22:31:38

Agree with Annie. It's very much the tone that is important.

Headmelt Mon 01-Feb-16 22:39:52

Awww! I thought you were quoting Conway Twitty grin who is a total legend

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 01-Feb-16 23:16:21

youtu.be/Og1QRtcWdEY

Headmelt Tue 02-Feb-16 01:00:41

Thanks Lass grin

OhShutUpThomas Tue 02-Feb-16 08:05:06

Conway shock

<swoons>

That is one of my favourite songs EVER! Have you heard 'I see the want to in your eyes'?

Headmelt Tue 02-Feb-16 10:24:47

OhShut, Conway is classic. I'm sure he wrecked many a relationship in his day. What woman could resist his charm! Even the engaged and married ladies weren't off limits to him grin

iamEarthymama Tue 02-Feb-16 10:41:17

That's half an hour of my life I won't get back, watching Conway Twitty on YouTube.smile

I am old enough to remember men dressed like that chatting me, as a young teen, up! And it was just normal in society.

I am guilty of adding a darling or a lovely, to my greetings to helpful strangers, it's the way we talk here. As someone says, it means Person.

Though the best is when using public transport.

I always imagine new bus drivers in the Valleys feeling inwardly proud as their passengers get off and on the bus with a "Thanks, Drive" wink

They know they are fully fledged and can start on part 2 of their course; "how to be a grumpy bugger".

LurcioAgain Tue 02-Feb-16 10:46:03

Annie's absolutely right - it depends on context, tone of voice and regional variation.

When living in Leeds, I saw a 15 stone, 50 year old, tattooed male brickie addressed with the phrase "where to, love?" by a 50 year old male bus driver. Similarly when I'm in London, I don't find "Hello darling" delivered in the same tone of voice "hello mate" offensive. Now I live in the south west, I have to admit it's taken quite a bit of getting used to being addressed "hello lover!" but again, weirdly, down here that's a sex-neutral form of address!

On the other hand, if someone in a workplace meeting said "Can you take the minutes, darling?" I'd be apoplectic! Because in that context, delivered by a colleague, it could be nothing other than a deliberate attempt to patronise and belittle me. (I hasten to add I cannot in a million years imagine any of my colleagues doing that.)

MrNoseybonk Wed 03-Feb-16 10:36:34

Round here "darling" isn't that common, but shopkeepers, bus drivers, etc. will often call people "love".
I find it tends to be men will call women love, women will call men love, but I know in other areas, men will call men love (as above).

caitlinohara Wed 03-Feb-16 11:15:08

Lurcio I am from Leeds and it used to be v common for men to call other men "love" in the same way as "mate". I have always found it v cute.

My postman managed to address me as "darling", "love", "sweetie" and "honey" in the short time he delivered a parcel to me yesterday, DESPITE MY ACTUAL NAME BEING ON THE PARCEL. Maybe he just really likes me... hmm

CwtchMeQuick Wed 03-Feb-16 12:31:21

Round here it's 'alroooiiiiitttt darrrrrrlin' grin
I don't object to it.
I agree in a professional context I'd flip. But general day to day it's fine imo. It's used the same way as mate is in our area. Ditto sweetheart and love.

grimbletart Wed 03-Feb-16 14:16:49

You'd never speak to anyone around my parts if you didn't respond to "love". In a personal, village, day to day context I'm fine with it.

In business, no, never.

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