How to confront persistent cat-callers? Advice please!!

(14 Posts)
BlondeAmbition13 Thu 08-Oct-15 15:06:50

So, in quintessential Everyday Sexism style, I get cat called near enough daily by the blokes who work at the car showroom across from my office.

Doesn't matter the season, what I'm wearing or how I have my hair, if I'm walking to my car - they're calling. But never if I venture out there with a male colleague..... hmm.

Anyhoo, I received a letter today that was meant for them so I have to be a good citizen and take the letter over to the car garage. I want to use this opportunity to speak to the manager there to ask him to address my issue with his staff . My worry is that because they're all blokes over there they're gonna roll out the typical 'banter' and 'compliment' cards. Which it is isn't. Whistling, shouting "oi", "hello Darling" etc every single day is tiresome and unwelcome.

Any tips on witty retort or how to be better prepared to stand my ground? (I tend to seize up in situations like that blush.)

Thanks in advance ladies and gents.

PosterEh Thu 08-Oct-15 15:10:21

It's completely inappropriate. I'd be asking the manager to take disciplinary action against them. Anything short of a grovelling apology and I'd be on the phone to head office where they will take it seriously.

WeAllFloat Thu 08-Oct-15 15:14:12

Name and shame them. Who is it?

PlaysWellWithOthers Thu 08-Oct-15 17:41:00

Fuck speaking to the manager, if it's impeding your life/making you feel as uncomfortable as it obviously is, go to the police.

LurcioAgain Thu 08-Oct-15 18:13:21

I'd separate the two issues. Do not hand deliver their sodding post. Just write "delivered in error" on the envelope and put back in the post. Then phone and ask to speak to the managrr. Make your complaint and tell him that if it continues you will go to the police.

crazywomanreturns Thu 08-Oct-15 19:35:37

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Cel982 Thu 08-Oct-15 19:43:00

Don't worry about trying to be witty or clever, honestly, you don't have to make this easier on them. I'd state very calmly and clearly what's happening, and inform him that if it doesn't stop immediately you'll be making a harassment report to the police. If he argues, listen politely and then repeat the above. Ad nauseum, if necessary. You don't have to engage with any defence of what is completely unacceptable behaviour.

CultureSucksDownWords Thu 08-Oct-15 19:45:49

Lurcio and Cel have got it right I think, a good strategy. Sorry you've had to put up with the harassment so far, hopefully the manager will take the appropriate action.

ALassUnparalleled Fri 09-Oct-15 01:17:22

Given my own experience of dealing with car sales showrooms (Arnold Clark in Edinburgh whom I can't fault on any grounds ) I find your post rather surprising.

Aren't the salesmen inside the showroom unless they are actually showing cars to customers? Cat calling a random woman in front of a customer is hardly likely to complete a sale and women buy cars too so it seems a very odd way for them to behave.

However the simple answer is to complain to the manager.

BlondeAmbition13 Fri 09-Oct-15 14:29:10

Thanks everyone for your helpful messages.

ALassUnparalleled this is a car showroom in Peterborough they have a few showrooms in the surrounding area too but are not a national chain as far as I know. The offenders are the mechanics who work in the garage part of the building and also the salesmen.

I think I will take the advice from other posters and call the manager rather than go over there. I will update once I've spoken to them. Thanks again everyone.

babybarrister Fri 09-Oct-15 14:31:34

I find a cold stare and actually responding to them tends to shut them up - I have simply said that it is very rude and I do not like it. I think that they are so surprised that anyone actually challenged them that they shut up

ALassUnparalleled Fri 09-Oct-15 15:48:35

I would not bother delivering their mail. Just write on the envelope "please deliver to correct address " and put back in the post.

DiscoGoGo Sat 10-Oct-15 13:59:24

I have to admit I don't think I've ever challenged anyone who has done this IRL. It seemed to happen most when I was very young though and so not so confident, they know this of course.

Anyway I think what Lurcio says is the best idea, do it over the phone that will be easier.

PosterEh Sat 10-Oct-15 15:00:13

You could also flag it to your manager. You should be able to go about your work without this shit.

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