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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Teacher calls home time 'mummy time'

16 replies

susannahmoodie · 12/09/2015 05:42

Ds1 is four and he has just started reception. he was talking about his day and made a passing reference to 'mummy time' do I asked what he meant. He said this was when they all get their coats on and bags ready and sit on the mat waiting for their mummies to come and pick them up. Now obviously I sm super sensitive about this because I only pick ds up once a week and that is from after school club, as I work full time. The rest of the time dh does it, as he is self employed and had cut and adjusted his hours to accommodate the school run. He is in the minority as a dad at pick up but he's not the only one. I just feel like 'mummy time' normalises the traditional set up or mother as sahm. Am I being pedantic? Why can't they just call it home time??!!

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nooka · 12/09/2015 05:48

I'm sure your ds isn't the only child not being picked up by a 'mummy', seems a bit insensitive to any child who for whatever reason might not have a mum pick them up. In my children's school there are for example several children living with grandparents who no longer have their mothers around due to family break up. Quite apart from the obvious sexism this seems like a pretty poor habit this teacher has got into. I hope that it doesn't upset any of the children.

JeanSeberg · 12/09/2015 06:03

I would politely request she changes this term. What's wrong with calling it home time or pick-up time?

It's yet another example of conditioning little ones that childcare is the woman's role.

Scarydinosaurs · 12/09/2015 06:05

I'd be really surprise if she did call it this, as she would have just sat through the September inset on NOT doing stuff like that!

That one time you do collect him, please say to her. It just isn't right.

And it's stupid.

VashtaNerada · 12/09/2015 06:17

That is ridiculous and outdated. How old is the teacher? I noticed at DD's school they refer to "your grown-up" which is much better. I personally would wait and see if there are any more examples of gender stereotyping and then ask for a meeting where you gently put across your concerns. There's some good resources out there you could take with you from Let Toys Be Toys, NUT and Stonewall amongst others.

tribpot · 12/09/2015 07:26

Yes, please do say something about this. Like nooka we have children being cared for by grandparents due to various chaotic family situations and we have many dads who do the school pickup, including my own DH most days.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/09/2015 07:32

That would make me furious. In my DS's case he was the only child in reception not being picked up by a parent or grandparent for a while. He had to go off to the office and wait to be picked up by the after school staff. If I had heard his teacher was calling the end of the day 'mummy time' I would have gone in all guns blazing (in a very polite, articulate way of course) but that's so stigmatising. What a dick.

FishWithABicycle · 12/09/2015 07:42

That is a really rubbish sexist behaviour that must be challenged and changed. Is this teacher under the impression that it is 1951 rather than 2015?

fastdaytears · 12/09/2015 07:48

When working in holiday childcare we used to say "take this [hideous clay monstrosity] home to show whoever makes your lunch" because we had such a range of carers that "parent" wouldn't have done it and that was years back. "Mummy" is just awful.

"your grown up" would be fine for me or just "home time". I still think of the end of the working day as home time.

ALassUnparalleled · 12/09/2015 07:52

It is a stupid word to describe "waiting time" Very odd not to realise children can be collected by fathers, grandparents or others. At that age mine was collected by a nanny- he wasn't the only one.

flowery · 12/09/2015 07:55

I noticed DS2's teacher did this earlier this week, when saying to the children as they were lining up to come out that they shouldn't go until she'd seen their mum was there.

There's plenty of dads, grandparents and other adults who do pick up at our school and a good handful of the kids go to after school club as well.

openthecurtains · 12/09/2015 08:18

DD's infant school calls it mummy time too. I hate the term - and I'm a SAHM.

ladygracie · 12/09/2015 08:22

I don't even say home time now as lots of mine go to after school club. Mummy time is very odd - you are not being pedantic.

Sadik · 12/09/2015 10:41

That's terrible, and not simply from a feminist POV. As others have said, what about looked after children, those cared for by gps etc etc.

mabythesea · 12/09/2015 10:44

She may be talking to a particular anxious child who is waiting for their mum rather than the class as a whole/naming that time - I have had a child in the past who has asked through the day when it is "mummy time".

Fatrascals · 12/09/2015 10:48

Seems totally bizarre as I expect the majority of children are being picked up by persons other than mum.

Just tell the teacher not to say it.

cakesonatrain · 12/09/2015 20:13

I don't see this particularly as a feminist issue, more of a "talking bollocks and pissing off pretty much everyone" issue.
But yes, do call the teacher on it!

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