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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Women do it too.

90 replies

BudgeUp · 19/08/2015 10:59

I'm feeling somewhat frustrated because I've just been talking to a friend about why that idiot felt the need to hack mumsnet and when I linked it to the wider issue of men (NAMALT) silencing women talking together online, her immediate response was "women hack just as much as men".

Similarly in the past when, for example, a newsworthy sex abuse/rape/DV/murder has been a topic of conversation there is always one who points out that women also abuse/rape/hit/murder.

Just like "Not all men" I find it incredibly derailing and am never sure how to respond to it without sounding like I completely hate men.

Sorry just wanted to vent.

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 19/08/2015 11:02

You're not alone. I find it intensely irritating too. The thing with the 'not all men' is it feels like it's squashing the conversation that you were trying to have about those particular men who were doing XYZ

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BudgeUp · 19/08/2015 11:10

Exactly Rhinestone. If you look at the stats of who does what to whom there is certainly a gender imbalance but it seems to be impossible to try to address that issue without appearing like a man hater.

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MilchandCookies · 19/08/2015 11:31

And when they say "Women do it too", they expect you to back down and admit that women are as much the perpetrators of violence as men, without any actual facts to back it up with. Daily Mail anecdotes are offered as evidence, and you are naive or man-hating to suggest otherwise.

I have a lot of friends/family who do this. Drives me nuts.

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cailindana · 19/08/2015 12:47

The only response to someone who says that is 'do you really believe that?'

There's no point in discussing it - someone who can look at the world we're in and genuinely believe that women and men perpetrate the same amount of crime and violence is clearly not open to actual facts.

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tiyife · 19/08/2015 13:36

"someone who can look at the world we're in and genuinely believe that women and men perpetrate the same amount of crime and violence is clearly not open to actual facts."

I can believe it. The only difference is female perps tend to get away with it more, especially if they are white and reasonable attractive.

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MadFatRunner · 19/08/2015 13:56

we must be awesome at covering our tracks and hiding the bodies of our boyfriends and husbands if we are violent as often and as lethally as men are

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cailindana · 19/08/2015 13:58

See, like tiyife who honestly believes it's possible for thousands of women to murder men and for absolutely no one to notice it.

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Qthirties · 19/08/2015 14:40

I think tiyife is right - no need to exaggerate what she's saying. For a given crime conviction rates for women, and for attractive people (i.e. women) truly are lower than for men. And this should be celebrated and used to our advantage.

We are less violent because we've been conditioned to respond to confrontation with submission and fear, and when we do strike back against abuse it tends to be that our smaller bodies can do less damage against larger men, which is why women in abusive relationships should familiarise themselves with the use of defensive weapons around the home.

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BudgeUp · 19/08/2015 17:39

"for attractive people (i.e. women)"

Are men not attractive then?

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abbieanders · 19/08/2015 17:45

They may be, but due to the appalling misandry that leads to women not being in charge, they can't capitalize on it.

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scallopsrgreat · 19/08/2015 17:48

Women make up 5% of the prison population.
96% of murders are committed by men.
98% of sexual violence is committed by men.

Are people really saying that those figures are skewed because women are 'more attractive' so aren't convicted?

Grin Grin Grin Grin

The Testicles of Objectivity are working overtime today.

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thatstoast · 19/08/2015 17:54

I murder people all the time and use my feminine wiles to avoid prosecution. Don't tell anyone though [girly giggle]

(Disclaimer: This post is a sarcastic place mark)

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BakingCookiesAndShit · 19/08/2015 18:32

Gosh what a lot of MRA dudebros we suddenly have posting.... I wonder why.

Fewer and fewer doubts that F4J or that weasel faced MB or their shitty ilk were behind the hacks now.

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SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 19/08/2015 18:42

Yes, and the weird things they say. Attractive women can, literally, get away with murder - is that a thing people really believe? That thousands of women are out there murdering away, but no one does anything about it 'cause they're hot.


And for what it's worth, I have never murdered anyone. I use mind control to force poor, unsuspecting men to commit crimes for me.

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Mide7 · 19/08/2015 18:42

This is probably the wrong time to ask this but why is being an MRA seen in such a bad light?

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BakingCookiesAndShit · 19/08/2015 18:48

Go have a look at sites like avoiceformen or returnofkings and when you've had the wash you'll feel you'll need after reading some of that shite, you'll know, Mide.

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Mide7 · 19/08/2015 18:56

Thanks baking, I assumed it was the male equivalent of feminism. Turns out it's not.

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SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 19/08/2015 18:56

returnofkings is owned by a man who doesn't like to wipe his bum, and who thinks rape should be legal on private property.

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BakingCookiesAndShit · 19/08/2015 19:02

The other one is owned by a man who's ex wife is in hiding.

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SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 19/08/2015 19:08

And if, IIRC, the AVFM chap once wrote an article in which he fantasised about repeatedly punching a woman in the face.

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YonicScrewdriver · 19/08/2015 19:25

Every day's a school day, Mide!

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BakingCookiesAndShit · 19/08/2015 19:28

And sorry Mide, if pointing you to those sites made you unhappy/angry, but it was the quickest way of demonstrating what MREs really believe.

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Mide7 · 19/08/2015 19:33

Certainly is Yonic and not to worry baking. I think it's a good example of what MRA seem to stand for.

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MaillotRojoPan · 19/08/2015 21:30

MRA suff - usually it isn't all about men's rights, its almost always about an anti-female agenda. Given that men 'control' just about every facet of society, it makes one wonder about the need for an MRA movement.

MRAs never, I mean never ,talk about men helping themselves - when the need is clear - but focus on the fault of females, when we have such an easy path for self-sustaining. Unfortunately our young men still buy into it, unless someone ( usually a male) sits in front of them to explain in some detail why that just doesn't work.

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SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 20/08/2015 00:01

That's it Pan!

I've never seen MRAs campaigning for eg: more funding for the treatment of mens' health problems, or for refuges for men, or more paternity leave. They just complain that women aren't doing those things. The thing is, when women wanted refuges, better health care, the right to vote, etc. they went out and made that happen. MRAs can't call themselves a movement that works for men if they sit back and expect someone else to do all the hard work for them.

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