Its all one big conspiracy

(298 Posts)
yazz21 Sat 04-Jul-15 12:06:54

Its only after all the transgender threads on here recently, that I've thought about feminism, and started looking into things. The more I read, the more I learn, the more shocked I am.

Its just like one massive conspiracy that I never saw. Now my eyes have been opened to it, I can't stop seeing it. (Not that I'd want to.) I see everything around me so differently. Just little things that all add up to keeping women subordinate.I never realised how much my behaviour, thoughts and actions is not innate, but things I've learned through socialisation.

I really wish I'd seen it all earlier, but for some reason I had this notion that feminism was just men hating women who were probably hairy and/or lesbians hmm I wonder who benefitted from me thinking that.

I'm not sure what my point is really, but I feel really angry on behalf of women and really want to do something about it. However there are no feminist groups/meetings in my area, and I'm not well read enough to start one. Any other angry womenn here? Also if anyone could reccomend some books, so I can further my understanding. I would be really grateful.

TheGirlFromIpanema Sat 04-Jul-15 12:20:57

Once you open your eyes and really 'see' everday sexism it is impossible to go back to how you felt before imo.

It's not a bad thing though but you might feel angry for a while!

yazz21 Sat 04-Jul-15 12:42:54

Yes that's exactly it!

I can't believe I was so blind.

It is an uncomfortable feeling, but I am glad you want to channel it into doing something positive. I can maybe try and recommend some books you might like, can you tell me more about the sort of thing you'd be interested in?

NoTechnologicalBreakdown Sat 04-Jul-15 13:00:06

You might be angry forever, on and off! I was one of those 'feminism is all about man hating' people for a long time too. I'm nervous of the term conspiracy nowadays though, it indicates some big bad agency, and for many/ most people (which I choose depends on how angry I'm feeling smile) most of the time socialisation is plenty explanation enough.

BeyondTheWall Sat 04-Jul-15 13:00:59

Buffy! You're back!! <sorry to derail, op> smile smile smile

Anyway...
I know exactly what you mean, its how feminism is put across by so many people. I dont know if it makes a difference, but i didnt go to uni straight after school, i'm only studying now. It seems to me that uni is when a lot of people have their 'lightbulb moment'?

Tequilashotfor1 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:04:02

There is subtle thread at the moment about changing the name of MUMSnet because it's not just mums anymore.

Parentsnet
Adultnet
'Anythingjusttotakeitawayftomwomennet'

We cant actually anywhere of our own any more sad

Tequilashotfor1 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:06:05

I think when you start seeing it it's like matrix moment when he takes the blue pill that shows him how things really are.

Most people like to stay docile to it

NoTechnologicalBreakdown Sat 04-Jul-15 13:11:35

Beyond, come to the pub... op, we have a pub!

BeyondTheWall Sat 04-Jul-15 13:13:42

I will, i tend to lose track wuickly though as its so fast moving and my dopey brain cant keep up blush

But yy op, come to the pub smile

yazz21 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:28:12

Thanks for all the replies!

Love the matrix analysis!

Sorry if this is a naïve question but what happens at the pub?

I'm not really sure Buffy possibly what would be on a feminism 101 reading list. So I can get a good understanding of the basics before going on to more complicated/in deph stuff.

yazz21 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:30:03

Oops! I ment analogy not analysis.

Well, I guess there's the 'popular/modern' ones like Caitlin Moran (which I haven't read). Or there are the more classic ones like Dworkin, which is available free online.

Another one I like is Cordelia Fine's Delusions of Gender, which looks at all the 'it's just nacher, different brains, init' rationalisations for inequality.

BeyondTheWall Sat 04-Jul-15 13:35:53

I have 'wifework' here ready to read (got it cheap off ebay!), that's one that gets recommended quite often by others - "what marriage really means for women"

LassUnparalleled Sat 04-Jul-15 13:36:22

There is subtle thread at the moment about changing the name of MUMSnet because it's not just mums anymore

Mumsnet does sound a bit twee and doesn't really give an indication of the depth and breadth of topics covered or that you neither need be or want to be a mum to participate.

"Womensnet" is more accurate - it's life, culture, society, parenting, the arts,science,politics from a female perspective although obviously there are huge variations in individual interpretation.

NoTechnologicalBreakdown Sat 04-Jul-15 13:39:08

The pub is a social area, there to exchange gossip, news, a feminist worry or opinion too small (or if we can't be bothered) to start a thread about, the occasional full and frank exchange of views such as is occurring on another thread at the mo, etc etc etc. We have a goat, a patriarchy cannon and lots of wine. I have suddenly been inspired to spend all day just soaking up the atmosphere for some strange reason.

SeraOfeliaFalfurrias Sat 04-Jul-15 13:43:05

Most of us here have been through what you're experiencing, OP, and it's really hard to work through - the rage that women are treated the way they are, fear for your daughters, shame that you never saw it before, then more rage and an awful feeling of impotence. It never really goes away, but you learn to live with it, and channel it, and this is how feminism gets things changed.

Welcome to feminism. And I agree, the pub is lovely.

yazz21 Sat 04-Jul-15 13:51:27

Cheers! I think I've seen those mentioned before on sites I've been browsing. I didn't know the dworkin one was available to download for free.

I think it was radical feminist stuff that was getting me interested.

Here you are then yazz

There are also some great feminist bloggers you might enjoy reading. I like Glosswitch and Sarah Ditum. And there's all sorts of interesting writing over here.

yazz21 Sat 04-Jul-15 14:01:18

Sera yes I do keep worrying for my daughters, and also feel powerless, and like I should be protesting or something.

However there isn't any groups in my area unfortunately.

Tequilashotfor1 Sat 04-Jul-15 15:07:15

lass but it was originally made as a site for mothers...

LassUnparalleled Sat 04-Jul-15 15:53:43

I do know that but things evolve. During the Scottish referendum for example I referred several people who would never have thought of this site to posts made by a poster called StatisticallyChallenged as she had the best arguments I'd seen for voting no.

Sorry off topic.

alexpolistigers Sat 04-Jul-15 15:58:37

Things evolve, yes, but Mumsnet is a brand name. CocaCola doesn't just sell a brown fizzy drink, it has evolved, but everyone recognises the brand name even on other products.

TheBabyFacedAssassin Sat 04-Jul-15 16:02:24

Op - I had the same realisation as you about 18 months ago. Once you start seeing injustices it is difficult to stop!

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