Sexist 'jokes' at work

[ShortLion]

What do people think about sexist comments in the workplace, or generally?

I work in a very male orientated workplace and am currently working in a small team of just men.

I find it frustrating that they are often making sexist 'jokes' or remarks

Little things like how women should 'be in the kitchen' or are 'better at cleaning' or how we should wear heels all the time.

But, any other prejidism (can't spell) aside from sexism, and these comments would be unacceptable.

If we said to an individual of a different race that they would be better at cleaning or fighting or whatever, people would be shocked and I would probably get called into a meeting (which I agree with)

If we said to an individual a remark about there mental/physical health differences to ours, we would be called up on it (which I again agree with).

Yet, when comments about females are made no one seems bothered. But I am. Does anyone else feel this way? Is it OK to make sexist remarks to someone?

[StillLostAtTheStation]

Of course it is not right.

[ihatemyphone99]

Unacceptable.

Sexist jokes breed sexism.

Report them.

[PuffinsAreFictitious]

Of course it's not right.

The next question is, how can you change that environment? If they are really good at tackling other isms, could you maybe just suggest that, if they had said something similar about, say, people in wheelchairs, then there would be a different reaction? Often basically good decent people just need to have their prejudice shown to them baldly for them to stop doing it.

[wuzzio]

Gender isn't a race. Men and women aren't different races.

And being female isn't a disability like being in a wheelchair.

[Stillyummy]

I would tell them off. With race at jokes I usually a "did everyone here that? I just thought it was compleatly disgraceful and inappropriate" the first time. The second time is a "can I stop you there, I find what your saying offensive" said loud enough for others to hear (witnesses) then report it to their manager. I have only had to do this twice and now fortunately don't get subjected to this noise pollution.

[Stillyummy]

I don't get subjected to genda jokes at work as I have a (carefully cultivated) ball buster reputation

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

The activity you describe would likely violate the law in the US as harassment based on a person's sex, so, for example, it would be unlawful to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general. Are there not similar laws in the UK (if that's where you are).

[tribpot]

Have you ever tackled them about this? You may be surprised. So many women either find or pretend to find this kind of thing amusing (and obvious its opposite: men are useless, men hate shopping, men can't talk about their feelings) that they may genuinely not realise you don't buy into this lazy, stereotyping 'hilarity'.

I would start with that - could you knock it off? It's 2015, it isn't funny and I don't like it.

If they respond badly (they might or might not) that's when you escalate the problem. You are entitled to work without putting up with prejudice.

Btw I have nearly always been in a team made up of me + men. Some times I've been the boss, other times not. I rarely have problems with overt sexism around me because it's quite obvious that I won't tolerate it. You aren't doing yourself, or other women in your workplace, any favours by not speaking out.

[EBearhug]

how can you change that environment?

That's one of the questions that is currently bothering me at work. Actually, our culture is overall fairly good, but there are some departments which are very white and very male (my own included), and the Jeremy Clarkson events last week brought out quite a few who think there's been a massive over-reaction, and you should basically be allowed to offend whoever you want, especially if it's done humourously. I did point out to a couple that they were talking from a position of white, male privilege, but while they stopped talking about how you should be able to use the n-word in traditional children's rhymes and so on, I suspect they are mostly thinking, "she's so boring and PC," rather than, "Actually, she's got a point."

And to the person who circulated a link to a load of joke posters which were along the lines of, "We should have more women in IT, so there's something pretty to look at," I replied all (knowing there were some managers on the list) that if I was aware that any of them ever circulated something like that again at work, I would be straight to HR, and anyone who didn't understand why needed to redo their code of conduct training. (I suspect such jokes probably still get circulated, but I don't get included on the To: list.)

But I would like HR to do some compulsory training for everyone on why this sort of thing is a problem, rather than them just not including me because I'm a humourless PC cow.

[ShortLion]

Thanks for your responses guys.

I will say something next time, I especially like they example from tribpot. I think it is easier once I have something prepared to say, I guess I am worried that saying something might make them eager to provoke more of a response for their own humour.

It is good to know that it is not only my opinion which thinks this is wrong, as this gives confidence to say something in future.

Thanks all

[tribpot]

Yes - they might do that, ShortLion. It's a risk. But it's worth a try - if they get defensive and claim "it's only banter" you know you need to tackle it another way.

Btw my SIL works for a car manufacturer and when she was quite junior (and therefore young) she would get all sorts of comments when she went on to the factory floor. She used to just walk up to the person who'd shouted something and very calmly say "I'm sorry, did you say something to me? I didn't hear you". Said person would almost always then back down and pretend he hadn't said anything. Now they don't do it because she's senior enough to have them all fired.