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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Femsplaining

81 replies

MissyMelMo · 04/03/2015 17:46

I got accused of femsplaining today. I asked what it meant and he said something about boorishly converting everything into feminist explanations and expecting everyone to accept it without question.

Well he can fuck off :)

But I've googled this term since coming home and can't make out where it sits - some groups seem to use it positively. So I thought I'd ask someone!

Thank you :)

OP posts:
WoTmania · 04/03/2015 18:38

Sounds like a pathetic made-up thing to try and counter the very real mansplaining. A kind of

KatherinaMinola · 04/03/2015 18:40

Yep - it's a silencing technique.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 04/03/2015 18:57

Neither I, nor any of the many many feminists I giggle with have ever heard of it.

Are you sure it's a real thing?

BuffytheThunderLizard · 04/03/2015 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 04/03/2015 20:02

Ah... so not a real thing then Grin

louiseham · 04/03/2015 22:27

I have heard of the term used in and around my neighbourhood.

It generally means either playing the professional victim.

A woman that tries to squeeze feminist terms into the conversation when they have nothing to do with it for example "rape culture" "patriarchy" "male privilege" etc

A woman that moans about men doing something but then does the same thing herself or encourages other women to do it.

Or a woman that just turns every talking point into a anti-male rant.

Sadly there are quite a few women that I see and sometimes talk to in the morning taking my kids to school who match that profile when you speak to them.

Femsplaining is a very real thing...Sadly

PuffinsAreFictitious · 04/03/2015 22:32

Yeah, of course... Hmm

MissyMelMo · 05/03/2015 11:50

It's not the individual behaviour that is the issue louiseham.

The fact is that men have always and will always attempt to silence women's voices. Women are not a privileged group like men are and so need to be heard. Men do not need to be heard, and so, when they seek to undermine women's real experiences with sexist old tropes, they are supporting oppression. Women can't do this because men are not oppressed.

This is exactly what was happening to me yesterday. I soon shut him up though when I threatened to report him for sexist bullying Grin

OP posts:
BuffytheThunderLizard · 05/03/2015 11:56

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuffytheThunderLizard · 05/03/2015 12:01

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CrispyFern · 05/03/2015 12:02

Where one earth do you live louiseham where women dropping their kids off at school are talking about the patriarchy and rape culture?

Nobody ever talks to me about feminism in real life, ever. Like, I mean, EVER.

cbranje · 05/03/2015 12:04

"The fact is that men have always and will always attempt to silence women's voices. "
"Many men assume that they will know more than women"

Why are you people so sexist??? Its not appropriate to generalize entire groups of people (ie half the population) in this manner. Its sexist and unfair. Modern feminists have become exactly what their predecessors have fought against.

ChunkyPickle · 05/03/2015 12:47

cbranje - it's rather hard to do analysis if you can only consider individuals. Wherever you see someone say 'men' you can replace it with 'men as a group' or 'men, not all men'

Which half of the population were you objecting to the generalization of by the way?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 05/03/2015 13:00

Can someone please find me a job where I get to play the professional victim? That sounds much more fun than actually being victimized and harassed at work/in life.

BuffytheThunderLizard · 05/03/2015 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HubertCumberdale · 05/03/2015 13:45

I thought femsplaining was when a woman explained something to a man that she assumes he doesn't know because he's a man.
Like when my aunt femsplained the washing machine to my adult brother, whose face indicated he was thinking 'yes well I know, I have been doing my own washing with my very own washing machine for 10 years, but OK'.
At least that's how I've taken it.

partialderivative · 05/03/2015 14:41

Men do not need to be heard MMM

Why not?

BuffytheThunderLizard · 05/03/2015 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MephistophelesApprentice · 05/03/2015 15:00

Femsplaining is very real, as is mansplaining.

Mansplaining is when a man is convinced he knows more about a particular subject than a woman due to being a man and talks over her. It's particularly bad when it relates to areas that can be said to belong to women, such as the life experience of women in society.

But feminists do do this as well, particularly when they claim to understand mens' motives or perspectives and usually do so in a particularly negative manner. While in wider society mens' voices are traditionally dominant, and therefore should endeavour to avoid talking over women, in discussion of gender issues the problem is reversed.

Feminism claims to be the only valid format for the pursuit of gender equality. It brooks no competition and actively derides and abhors any suggestion of an alternative. This narrative has become widely accepted, so when feminists claim to 'understand' mens' motives or perspectives and reject or ignore any man who disagrees then that is femsplaining.

Excellent case in point: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/mar/05/men-urinate-street-hamburg-residents-urine

An article by a feminist writer about public urination and identifying the major source as being men. Perhaps true - but it is in the assumption of motives that the problem arises. While she admits that she and other female companions had engaged in public urination only out of desperation, she claims that men only do so out of laziness. She has no basis or insight to support or such an assumption, but in the context of a discussion on gender rights she believes that she can.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 05/03/2015 15:14

Feminism claims to be the only valid format for the pursuit of gender equality

What are the other formats?

MephistophelesApprentice · 05/03/2015 15:23

Off the top of my head, active unqualified egalitarianism, active equalitarianism, meninism and masculinism.

It's interesting - I literally struggled to include the last two, because the dominant feminist narrative has subconsciously convinced me that they are to be disregarded and reviled. I have included them as they 'claim' to be about the pursuit of gender equality, though I have not examined them in any more than superficial detail.

LurcioAgain · 05/03/2015 15:23

That article wasn't femsplaining, it was a Guardian journo being a twerp. At least half of them are.

Also puzzled as to what other formats there are for the pursuit of gender equality (but not particularly hoping for enlightenment from Meph, who rarely says anything I find either interesting or enlightening).

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MephistophelesApprentice · 05/03/2015 15:24

Is the insult necessary?

ApocalypseThen · 05/03/2015 15:29

This narrative has become widely accepted, so when feminists claim to 'understand' mens' motives or perspectives and reject or ignore any man who disagrees then that is femsplaining.

Yeah, our culture is thoroughly soaked in men's perspectives on just about every issue, so there probably is a fairly good reason why women think they have some notion of why men act the way they do. Even if we weren't being bludgeoned with information at all times, women have to take note to stay safe.

Certainly I don't think that a black people talking about the attitudes and behaviours of white people and the damage they do are speaking about something they know nothing of since our culture is also steeped in the white perspective which they can't help but experience.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 05/03/2015 15:32

dominant feminist narrative

Oh! My sides Hmm

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