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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

anyone seen this blog about being a mum of boys?

94 replies

expectingno2 · 26/09/2014 18:03

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5755682?utm_hp_ref=tw

I know it Is only one blog but i am seeing it shared and liked on social media.

Not sure I know how to link properly but one of the comments - boys give better kisses ...... with no agenda??? Wtaf.

OP posts:
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expectingno2 · 26/09/2014 18:13
OP posts:
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MrsMinton · 26/09/2014 18:17

I have two DS and that's really riled me.

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5madthings · 26/09/2014 18:21

I have four boys (and one girl) what a pile of shit that blog is.

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NameChangerNewDanger · 26/09/2014 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 26/09/2014 18:25

I read it. What a load of arse. I have one boy. He finds farts no funnier than I did at his age (i.e very funny)
He totally goes into sulks and doesn't love me for ours at a time.
He is physical (like a child is) but also spends hours drawing.
My bathroom isnt covered in wee, and if he splashes, he knows to clean it up, or at least he does when I remind him.
He has never punched anyone in his life, and is a kind and gentle, and thoughtful soul most of the time.
Not listening? Well, sure, but that's all children.
And how bitchy the implication that girls give affection as manipulation. How nasty. I have several nieces, and some of them are affectionate, some of them more self contained, but none of them are manipulative. They are individual children (and at two of my nieces are extremely boisterous given the chance).
I despair of this stereotypical rubbish.

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 26/09/2014 18:26

There are dozens of "mum of boys" list knocking around the internet and they are all sexist tripe. (Speaking as the mother of a fastidiously peeing, fashion conscious 5 year old DS.)

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KERALA1 · 26/09/2014 18:30

Ridiculous. My dds never manipulative with us. And spend most weekends finessing battle plans with their horrible history soldiers.

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LurcioAgain · 26/09/2014 18:34

Agree, complete pile of shite. I really really hate this "girls are manipulative, boys are uncomplicatedly loving" crap that gets peddled. And your son (and mine for that matter) are going to have white male privilege? Well, how about instead of leaping around going whoop-dee-doo, you try to make them aware of this, so that they grown up into decent human beings who can at least try to make the imaginative leap to see what someone else's situation might be like?

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SevenZarkSeven · 26/09/2014 18:41

What a depressing blog.

Why do people insist on promulgating this sexist tripe.

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gamescompendium · 26/09/2014 20:24

i am so tempted to post an '1 thing only parents of three or more children of different sexes understand' which is 'a brother and sister can be more similar than two brothers or two sisters'. Sigh. I have 2DDs and 1DS and people continually ask 'is it different parenting a boy?' to which the only possible answer is 'only when changing nappies'. But people really don't want to hear that actually, DD1 was climbing the stairs at 6 months, DS is obsessed with hairbands and Frozen and DD2 loves her science set more than any other toy.

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SevenZarkSeven · 26/09/2014 20:26

And actually I have noticed that IRL if you comment about your children doing things outside gender roles, you get a rolly-eyes listen to the feminist reaction. Comment on them doing something stereotypical and everyone smiles and looks pleased.

It's not subtle, this stuff, when you even try and challenge it a little bit. It's right there in your face even from people you'd think would know better.

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PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 26/09/2014 20:42

Seven - there was a lot of that from a mum of three boys at the park today. Everyone giggling along.

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TessOfTheFurbyvilles · 26/09/2014 20:52

As a mom of two boys (and three girls), what a load of tripe!

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SevenZarkSeven · 26/09/2014 20:59

It's odd isn't it:

Mum of boy/girl "mine love doing stereotypical X"
Mum of opposite sex "oh mine love doing that too"
First mum looks like someone's just farted in her face.

Well I get that a lot anyway Grin

Mine are girls - if someone says their boy likes X and you say your girl likes that too, do they take offence as you are emasculating their son? Or something? Or just not know how to react? It's a very strange reaction. They usually look like they've just sucked a lemon and don't respond. All very peculiar.

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PuffinsAreFicticious · 26/09/2014 21:00

What a total crock of utter shit.

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Zazzles007 · 26/09/2014 21:49

First mum looks like someone's just farted in her face.

Grin

And that blog! Where to start! OK:

In my vision, there were tea parties and tutus. There were hours spent quietly reading on the couch together. There were Disney princesses and Dora the Explorer. There were little striped dresses and polka-dotted leggings. There were braids and pigtails. There was shopping and giggling.

Omg, did the blogger not stop to think that there was a 50% chance of a girl and a 50% chance of a boy with each and every pregnancy? And that at least some of the things she listed are just as achievable with boys as they are with girls. Gah, she sounds like she needs to be brought into the 21st century. Didn't get past the beginning of the blog because of the rubbish posted.

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PuffinsAreFicticious · 26/09/2014 21:53

DS2 and I had tea parties, he was also fond of a nice tutu.

I hate all this strict gender demarcation. Just let the poor little buggers be children. All too soon society will force them to fit inside it's preprogrammed boxes.

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PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 26/09/2014 22:15

Seven - I get that a lot regarding sticks.

Mother A: "Oh, Johnny loves collecting sticks. He's such a boy."

Me: "Oh yes, DD2 loves a good stick too. We end up carrying half a tree home from the park"

Mother A:

It's a stick for fecks sake. Not a magic boy toy.

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TheHoundsBitch · 26/09/2014 22:22

It's so ridiculous, and so widespread - our local children's centres offer 'parenting boys' courses for christ's sake.
Winds me up something rotten

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IndiansInTheLobby · 26/09/2014 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SevenZarkSeven · 26/09/2014 22:32

lol @ sticks being a highly gendered toy

what happens if a girl plays with a stick? is it a phallic issue? lol

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SevenZarkSeven · 26/09/2014 22:33

Why do they look so pissed off do you think penguins?

WHY?

It's so weird.

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PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 26/09/2014 22:34

If a girl plays with a stick her womb falls out

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RubyrooUK · 26/09/2014 22:34

Oh I hate that shite.

I'm mother to two boys. Or actually two people. Obviously I only know what it's like to parent those two individuals. I would have no more idea what a third boy would be like than a girl.

There are many reasons I hate that kind of blog. One of my children is an incredibly sensitive child, who loves crafts, imaginative play and "feels" everything incredibly deeply. By contrast, his brother is a whirlwind of energy and is very happy-go-lucky. He loves physical activities. Are those things really "boy" or "girl" traits or just human traits?

I just don't like the idea we put boys and girls into normative boxes and tell them that's how to be.

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PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 26/09/2014 22:36

I don't know. I really don't.

I guess I think because people who characterise their children so strongly really believe that they are observing something important about their child when they say these things. They have invested heavily in a gendered identity. And you saying 'oh, that's just a kid thing' therefore annoys them.

Also, I think that there is an element of "Oh, my boy takes silly risks on the climbing frame because he's a boy" (i.e. not my fault gov). So when I say I struggle with a girl, it becomes a personality/parenting issue.

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