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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Mrs & Mr C D XXX

18 replies

VeryThelma · 18/09/2014 22:49

Ok so I have opened an account with first direct (with some research from MN amongst other reasons).

So I fill out the forms on line and add my DH as a second person on the joint account, I tick the box to say correspondence can be sent to me and indeed have the "welcome to FD phone us to set things up" email, all fine.

Then we get our "welcome packs" for the new accounts. I am Mrs A B XXX my DH is Mr C D XXX. The welcome letter I would expect to be sent to Mrs A and Mr C XXX is sent to Mrs and Mr C D XXX.

Am I being pedantic or should I rattle off an e mail to HQ???

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Tommy · 18/09/2014 22:51

not being pedantic at all!! That's the sort of thing my aunts and MIL do but very outdated with people under about 60 I should think

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FuckOffWeasel · 18/09/2014 23:54

No you aren't. It's your name. On very important financial documents. I'd expect my bank to get my name right for a start.

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JeanneDeMontbaston · 19/09/2014 00:05

Please email. The more of us who have a minute to do it, the sooner they will get the message and stop.

It is annoying, and a right bloody pain on occasion.

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whatdoesittake48 · 19/09/2014 12:02

We are with Santander and they spell out our entire names which takes some doing as mine is double barelled and I use my middle name. that might be the difference though as we probably look as though we have two separate names.

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VeryThelma · 20/09/2014 19:10

Well I moaned on the phone and today's post was addressed in a much better format so at least they listened and sorted it out quite pleased it just took a nag to one of their the guys in the phone

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JeanneDeMontbaston · 20/09/2014 23:23

Aw, nice!

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Bartlebee · 20/09/2014 23:25

Glad it was sorted promptly.

This sort of archaic crap drives me nuts.

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BuffyBotRebooted · 21/09/2014 08:10

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BuffyBotRebooted · 21/09/2014 08:10

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VeryThelma · 21/09/2014 08:29

Yes I was surprised as I opened the account and added DH as the second name but anyway all appears well now.

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itsbetterthanabox · 21/09/2014 08:45

I do find it odd when women who chose to change their name and use Mrs have an issue with this. It's kinda the point!
I think it's sexist shit but so is name changing and title changing.

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WAFFLEO · 21/09/2014 08:54

I changed my surname and added Mrs, but I didn't agree to change my first and middle name to my husband's - i would have kept my last name, but really isn't one that can be double- barrelled for my children without sounding like a joke, and as we couldn't double-barrel I didn't want a different name to my children.

That was the point of changing my name, not to completely erase my name in favour of my husband's, like I am just an extension of him.

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itsbetterthanabox · 21/09/2014 14:26

Your kids could have had your surname. Or so what if the double barrel doesn't sound great it's the principle.
It's not saying that you have his First name it's just not using yours. You are now Mrs. Avoid this issue by going by Ms.

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BuffyBotRebooted · 21/09/2014 15:37

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JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/09/2014 15:44

You don't avoid the issue by going by Ms, anyway. People ignore it.

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VeryThelma · 21/09/2014 15:58

I tried Ms for a bit between husbands and couldn't work it out somehow not sure why, as you said I May have made other choices if I did things again but we are all happy to share a family name me and my 2DS

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FuckOffWeasel · 21/09/2014 16:51

WHy wouldn't someone have an issue with being called something they have not asked to be called? Confused

I used Ms. People think I'm divorced. So you have to go be in a married/ unmarried box

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itsbetterthanabox · 21/09/2014 19:25

More young people using Ms will dispel the divorced myth. You can just correct people too.
If I'm ms mysurname and he's mr hissurnane then people aren't going to use outdated forms of address.

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