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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Sunday morning live - should emotional abuse in a relationship be a crime?

2 replies

KateBeckett · 24/08/2014 10:20

Is anyone else watching this?

The majority of male responses are making me really angry!
E.g. One of the guest panelists "what is more overbearing than those shrew like wives" etc.

Comments from viewers saying "emotions are a part of being human. Now we are expected to be cold and heartless" and "we are becoming a nanny state. Anyone who is being abused should leave"

:/

OP posts:
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grimbletart · 24/08/2014 12:11

There seems to be an assumption by many that the legislation is all about protecting women from men. In fact, the legislation equally applies to emotional abuse of men by women.

Did no one point that out to the men on the programme Kate?

Seems like a case of "if the cap fits wear it" i.e. emotional abuse by men of women is by a country mile the most common manifestation of emotional abuse that the men automatically assume they are the ones being picked on. Bit of a giveaway, that.

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Smudged99 · 24/08/2014 16:33

I haven't posted here before, but I have lurked for a while. I'm glad I didn't watch that program as I just find it so depressing that so many people do not understand emotional abuse. I didn't understand emotional abuse until 18 months ago when I was speaking to a new friend about an argument that I'd had with my EXH and she just couldn't believe (well she did believe it) what I was telling her. Until then I just thought he was difficult to get along with and I needed to try harder to make him happy! For some background I was isolated from family, I was not allowed to own my own car, I couldn't drive his unless he deemed it necessary, he checked fuel consumption if I had driven. I wasn't allowed to shower or have a bath etc until our DD was asleep and funnily enough it was my job to do her bedtime. The list goes on as you can imagine, but individually it all looks trivial.
I still didn't believe it though (I knew I wanted a divorce, but honestly thought we were just a "bad fit") until I called a telephone counselling/advisory service and a male advisor told me to call Womens Aid. Anyway the point of my post is that I was definitely conditioned from childhood to put the needs of others before mine and this carried on during my 11 year marriage.

It's only now 18 months later that I actually realise the damage that it did to me, but still some friends and family tell me to stop torturing myself and that I need to learn to laugh about it.
I'm not sure what Im trying to say here, but I'm glad that emotional abuse is being highlighted and being taken more seriously, but I just don't know how this legislation would be enforced especially if the victim hasn't realised they are being abused.

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