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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

So what would a feminist Rom Com look like?

68 replies

Scarletohello · 06/08/2014 22:11

So we've had Four Weddings and a Funeral, Pretty Woman, Bridget Jones Diary, even Bridesmaids but I am struggling to envisage what a feminist rom com would be like.

Any ideas..??

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ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 06/08/2014 22:24

Four weddings is more about men being rom, isn't it? (Hugh, John Hannah, Hugh's little bro)

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ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 06/08/2014 22:26

But mostly:

Woman has job
Woman meets man at job/down pub/at friend's house
Woman and man date
Woman and man shag after two five dates
Say I love you
Whilst continuing to have job, friends, life etc who actually provide the comedy.

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ReallyFuckingFedUp · 06/08/2014 22:48

but I am struggling to envisage what a feminist rom com would be like.

Well the obvious and easiest way to do it would be to have to main characters be lesbians.

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PetulaGordino · 06/08/2014 22:50

interesting to think about. it's tricky though because rom coms tend to support the notion that coupledom is the goal (the "rom" part sort of requires that), whereas a lot of feminists dispute that as a goal/achievement/status symbol. not to say that feminists are anti-romance or anti-people-finding-life-partners, but it's just part of a package of potential experiences that a person might enjoy and find enhances their life. so as abland says the rom part might have to feature less prominently among a range of other interests and storylines

are there any lesbian rom coms? i'm assuming there are but i'm not aware of them because of funding/distribution/i haven't previously tried to find out etc. it would be interesting to see how filmmakers have explored the genre without the male/female aspect

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PetulaGordino · 06/08/2014 22:50

oh that was a x-post!

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joanofarchitrave · 06/08/2014 22:53

Private Benjamin.

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joanofarchitrave · 06/08/2014 22:54

Oh, and Twelfth Night.
And Shakespeare in Love, coincidentally.

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Scarletohello · 06/08/2014 22:55

It's a bit like that recent thread about what if sexism was reversed, it's actually quite hard to think of scenarios as they tend to be so proscribed and in a very specific way. Will have to give it some thought...

What about if we reversed the genders in the current rom coms ( ha auto correct keeps wanting to write 'cons'). What would that be like..?

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YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx · 06/08/2014 22:55

Ooh good one, joanofarchitrave.

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TeWiSavesTheDay · 06/08/2014 23:10

Rom com script:
Meet-cute
Hijinks
Fall in love
Split up because the bloke's been a bit of a dick and the woman accidentally discovers his lies. Or she mistakenly thinks he lied, and doesn't give him a chance to explain
Big romantic gesture from bloke just at the point she's about to get on with her life.
She forgives him and they get back together
THE END

Feminist version...
Meet cute
If there's any conflict of issue, they ring each other and discuss it after first date (or whenever)
FIN

Probably have to work on the entertainment part I'll grant you.

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CKDexterHaven · 06/08/2014 23:12

I think romance is a false promise dangled in front of women, a reward for conforming to a certain set of behaviours, much like the promise of getting to heaven for religious people. I don't think there could be a feminist romcom because feminism deals in the truths of relationships, not pretty fantasies. I actually think old screwball romantic comedies are, if not feminist, certainly more honest about relationships and have far better roles for women.

It's strange that romcoms are seen as chick flicks because they usually show some chauvinist loser win the heart of a woman way out of his league.

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gamescompendium · 06/08/2014 23:13

Lesbian Rom Coms. Now there's a link I didn't think I'd ever post!

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weatherall · 06/08/2014 23:13

Oh yes private Benjamin

Legally blonde isn't bad
Sliding doors too

The protagonist would have to be a woman. So many rom cons would be better if we could have the film from the female pov.

She would need to be financially independent.

She would have positive relationships with female friends and relatives.

In the end she will outlive him he won't leave her for a younger model and have a happy fulfilling widowhood, enjoying her retirement.

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TeWiSavesTheDay · 06/08/2014 23:14

Rom com script:
Meet-cute
Hijinks
Fall in love
Split up because the bloke's been a bit of a dick and the woman accidentally discovers his lies. Or she mistakenly thinks he lied, and doesn't give him a chance to explain
Big romantic gesture from bloke just at the point she's about to get on with her life.
She forgives him and they get back together
THE END

Feminist version...
Meet cute
If there's any conflict of issue, they ring each other and discuss it after first date (or whenever)
FIN

Probably have to work on the entertainment part I'll grant you.

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TeWiSavesTheDay · 06/08/2014 23:16

How did that happen??

Yes proper interesting conversations between the female characters about not boys.

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PetulaGordino · 06/08/2014 23:18

and no makeovers

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CKDexterHaven · 06/08/2014 23:25

One of my favourite films is the original version of The Women. It's an all women cast (however they talk about nothing but men) and the main character goes back to her philandering husband, but it's far less rose-tinted about marriage than modern romcoms. It's written by a woman from a play by a woman.

The remake stars Meg Ryan so it must be awful.

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gamescompendium · 06/08/2014 23:26

Oh yes Legally Blond is good, although probably because the romance isn't really the main part of the story. It's clever because it's so pink and fluffy but the underlying story is actually really feminist.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/08/2014 23:31

Mmm. I've seen some lesbian rom-coms that were definitely not feminist.

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gamescompendium · 06/08/2014 23:33

I was slightly concerned what would come up when I googled it!

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/08/2014 23:42

'Imagine Me and You' (from that list) is ever so cute, but it's not feminist.

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CKDexterHaven · 06/08/2014 23:51

I think the problem with lesbian romcoms is that usually one of the lesbians is just given the bloke's role from a traditional romcom.

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Scarletohello · 06/08/2014 23:51

CKDexter. That is a very good point about romance. Have just been reading the book, 'Wifework' and that ties in with the point about women doing all this domestic labour for 'love'. I agree women get sold a crock of shit about romance to the extent that they see the pinnacle if their lives as their wedding day. And interestingly that's where most rom coms end...

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/08/2014 23:53

Yes, or it's 'OMG, I might be attracted to women!' taking up 3/4 of the plot so there's no need to get into anything unappealing like ... actual lesbianism ...

(Can you see why I dislike 'Imagine'?).

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almondcakes · 07/08/2014 00:00

Sylvia Pankhurst and the Italian anarchist.

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