Stewie's gone. :-(

(49 Posts)

I've just heard that SGM, who'd come back, has decided to dereg again sad. I totally understand her decision but I'm so fed up and sad.

I know MNHQ have a very hard job to do running this site, and I know (before the inevitable posts pile in) that this is a space to talk about feminism, and to be as misogynistic as you like in, if you so choose and believe you can manage it within the guidelines.

But it is really depressing to me. Over the last few weeks there have been near-constant posts from trolls deleted too late, or posters saying 'I've not read the thread but [insert insult to feminists here]'. I know they're entitled to do that. But WHY? What's good about it? What do these people get out of it?

Yeah, it's shit. Does this happen elsewhere, I wonder? Or is it a treat reserved for us man hating feminists who didn't do well on our youth culture modules and obviously want to lower the standards of proof so all innocent men go to prison for rape?

Leads me to wonder whether such a thing as a safe female spaces even exist.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Mon 23-Jun-14 12:29:40

What do these people get out of it?

A reaction. That's all they're looking for. I've yet to see a thread or post where people have heeded the warnings to not feed said troll.

LurcioAgain Mon 23-Jun-14 12:30:38

That's so sad. I have learned so much from SGM's posts over the years, and was so glad to see her back.

Yes to the obvious idiots, but some are ordinary and reasonably articulate posters who spout culturally appropriate 'common sense'.

If they are allowed to kill threads because we're all heeding warnings not to feed them, then most posters and lurkers will go away with the impression that they are right. And they will have silenced us.

No, ta.

Me too, lurcio.

She always made this feel like a better place and I am stunned by how much she does. She is one of my role models for how to be a feminist.

pourquoi - true, it's the reaction. But then you get posters targeting rape threads, and I'm not sure how ethical it is to leave those unanswered. Some of us can take it; some rape survivors who come across those threads really shouldn't have to. There's a woman posting about reporting historical rape just now. sad

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Mon 23-Jun-14 12:42:00

Buffy Fair enough and I agree, but I don't think anyone has ever convinced someone with those kind of views that they are wrong so it just descends into arguments.

I personally have no problem with arguments, reading or taking part in them, as it's a good way of demonstrating different views to people who wouldn't normally be exposed to them (usually lurkers I think, as I said the trolls themselves aren't going to change).

LRD It is awful in those situations yes, I would hope until a better solution can be found to delete posts quicker/hide them or something, that in those cases the number of nice, rational, not-mysoginistic people on the site will be enough to drown them out for anyone affected. But yes, I do see what you mean.

Yeah, it's just really difficult, I agree. sad

I'm really not trying to do one of those 'grr, HQ, please change!' posts, I'm just so sickened by it all.

TunipTheUnconquerable Mon 23-Jun-14 12:48:07

It seems rather clear to me that she was being targeted. A poster who used to be very active in the feminist topic when she was here, and then posted very little in there, suddenly had a lot to say about it again.

Meglet Mon 23-Jun-14 12:48:45

Oh poo sad. I was glad she'd ventured back.

She does get targeted. She's articulate and eloquent, so she will be.

She gets absolutely revolting comments on her blog, too, and IIRC she said some of those were from the same trolls we get on here (same posting names etc.). So they really do have it in for her. I know that means she's doing it right, but it must be absolutely draining.

AuntieStella Mon 23-Jun-14 12:50:35

It's not just on FWR.

One thread about the current mood of the site included three posters saying they were taking a break or leaving altogether.

It was a bad week last week pretty much everywhere on MN.

LurcioAgain Mon 23-Jun-14 12:52:44

Actually, re. trolls, I picked up a great tip at work from a talk about communicating science in a politically charged area. Respond, but respond with the lurkers in mind! (Incidentally, I think both Buffy and LRD are brilliant at this). And the guy giving the talk made two points: the more of us who do this, the more it becomes clear that ours is the sane, rational view held by the majority; but at the same time, not everyone is cut out to do this. So if you feel you'll get too personally drawn into a fight, or too upset, step away. But if you can engage without losing your temper or getting too upset yourself, do. (Of course, it's so annoying, because rage sometimes is the appropriate response - but it doesn't work in terms of winning over the neutral third party watching from a distance who hasn't made up their mind yet - actually what you want to do is keep the high ground and get the other person to make a fool of themself).

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Mon 23-Jun-14 12:58:07

Lurcio that sounds like a good plan actually.

That's very kind of you to say, lurcio.

And I think it is a great plan. I do think sometimes we all need to step away because it gets upsetting.

MardyBra Mon 23-Jun-14 13:02:03

Buggering bollocks. Not another good'un gone. sad

7Days Mon 23-Jun-14 13:04:05

That's a pity about Stewie she is a great poster

But the trolls, the trolls fgs. It's too irritating to even lurk sometimes, ordinary lurkers and low level participants like me just tend t throw up our hands at times. Not much help but christ alive it's frustrating

CaptChaos Mon 23-Jun-14 13:23:00

From the Oxford Union post? I had to step away. Can't believe she's gone again, she makes so much make sense sad

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure Mon 23-Jun-14 13:29:15

Bugger, really?

sad

Yep, really. sad

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Mon 23-Jun-14 13:42:40

Oh, that is very bad news.

Can't say I'm surprised though - was it that Oxford Union thread? I just want to chew my own hand off having read a certain 'Mr Nuance's' posts on there.

Thank you, LRD, and others for so diligently and eloquently countering his posts.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem Mon 23-Jun-14 14:04:06

Could someone PM me her blog link, if that's ok?

Vintagecakeisstillnice Mon 23-Jun-14 17:50:23

Degustib: I was just going to ask the same.

If someone wouldn't mind?

TunipTheUnconquerable Mon 23-Jun-14 18:53:22

PMed you both.

Lovecat Mon 23-Jun-14 19:08:29

sad

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