Living with a pro

(18 Posts)
Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:11:56

Not sure if this is the right place for this question or whether it's even legal to talk about, but a girlfriend has asked me to ask people here. We have never been close to prostitution and our boyfriends have no clue either (honestly!) but anyway my friend is living with a girl about her own age, and it seems likely she's a prostitute. My friend's question is whether to confront her with this, to stop her from doing it, because this other girl is apparently catatonic with depression. But how to broach the subject, ask her straight out? Would she even stop doing it, given she has no other means of income?

CailinDana Sun 15-Jun-14 21:21:32

Why would it be illegal to talk about it? - that's a genuine question by the way.

What makes your friend think her housemate is a prostitute?
What do you mean your friend wants to "confront her with this" - confront her with what?

FloraFox Sun 15-Jun-14 21:36:28

OP no idea if you are genuine here but as this is your first post, you might not get many replies. We get a lot of odd sorts on here. What do you think?

Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:39:06

We don't know, that's the problem, if it's illegal or dangerous (nowadays). We are clueless about this. As for the reason for our suspicion, I don't want to be too specific because she could read this thread, or could be outed by this thread. It's a very delicate situation. She dresses very strangely when going out sometimes, and seems extremely distressed when leaving dressed in that way, she has made a suicidal gesture, she is constantly depressed, she is extremely reclusive and secretive, only leaving her room to eat in the kitchen alone with her hair in her food, she has hinted that she doesn't like her job even though she is unemployed. It's pretty much a crisis situation, hence we need serious advice from this forum.

Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:40:19

Yes it's genuine.

CailinDana Sun 15-Jun-14 21:41:44

What exactly is your concern? For her mental health?

Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:46:33

Yes, her mental health, but also this is not a safe city where we live.

CailinDana Sun 15-Jun-14 21:57:52

Can any of you talk to her?

Can you encourage her to seek medical help for her depression? I think that is the most important thing that needs attention. I'd personally see no need for confrontation or asking her about selling sex. Sounds like she could really use some non judgemental support.

Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 22:13:40

I really want to talk to her about it. In fact I want to bring this up next time I meet her because it's clearly abusive in some way, not amicable as perhaps it could be. However she is so secretive, and proud, she may be devastated if people knew what she had to do to survive.

Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 22:15:04

Yes Buffy, I was thinking the same way. Get her to attend the hospital nearby, maybe go with her and wait outside.

CailinDana Sun 15-Jun-14 22:15:26

The fact she is a prostitute is totally irrelevant though, isn't it? She will be fully aware of how dangerous it is. If you talk to her, there is absolutely no need to mention her job - all you need to do is let her know you're there to help and perhaps encourage her to go to the gp.

Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 22:22:54

Ok I won't mention the job but will just get her to see a GP as advised.

BertieBotts Sun 15-Jun-14 22:24:42

You could point her to one of the support agencies? If you're in the UK there are several support agencies which help people get out of prostitution. If she doesn't know that you know maybe you could order one of their online info packs so that it just looks like junk mail when it arrives, she might pick it up.

BertieBotts Sun 15-Jun-14 22:26:09

And the thing is, whether you agree with prostitution or not or even if she is unhappy, she is an adult and she may well decide herself that she wants to continue. Nobody can force her to stop if she has chosen that. Alternatively if she feels she has no choice, then maybe some support in the form of an agency or just a friend might enable her to leave the industry.

EverythingCounts Sun 15-Jun-14 22:29:05

I think you should try and help her get help for her depression. If whatever she does to earn money is part of that, it will then come out in the wash. In short, if you want to be a friend to her, just get on and be a friend to her.

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure Sun 15-Jun-14 22:29:54

The Samaritans are a good sounding board for anyone needing help, suicidal or not. Would she call them, do you think? They also have an email facility.

Jenny1234567 Sun 15-Jun-14 23:13:19

I'm not sure if she would call them. I think I might be able to get her to a GP though.

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