A thread about a thread

(30 Posts)
ReallyFuckingFedUp Thu 12-Jun-14 16:35:50

kind of.

I have recently had my eye opened to the fact that there are still people in this world who think a woman having sex on the first date means she has "low self esteem", which apparently according to the men on the thread also means that's it's OK to have sex with her and not call because there is no "chase" or "hunt" hmm Also they'd be wondering if the woman "did it all the time"

So just curious, how many partners is OK?

And how many dates before you are "allowed" to have sex without looking like a slag a person of low self esteem?

Also if a woman really really enjoys having sex and just doesn't mean Mr Right, is she meant to remain celibate for years?

squizita Fri 13-Jun-14 12:48:40

OH, and for people saying men universally 'despise' women with multiple partners I socialise with numerous "laddish" men for whom the attitude seems to be "lucky girl" ...and who are friends and date women who do this. Such men exist.

Not in my imagination - being the reverse myself I have no vested interest in believing anyone thinks like this (apart from my dislike of double standards).

I also know some who say really bad hypocritical stuff (but choose not to socialise with them because of this).

rinabean for me, your posts are the very embodiment of internalised sexism and patriarchal attitudes: patriarchy wants to control female sexuality all right. It wants to control when, with whom, with how many and under what circumstances women have sex. This includes women who don't want to have sex with men, or at all, as well as those who fancy it a lot with lots of different men.

Your assertion that men who think women who sleep with however damn many people they want are stupid, worthless, dirty, etc are right? This astonishes me.

ShirakawaKaede Fri 13-Jun-14 19:23:27

I slept with my husband after precisely NO dates. We had the same group of friends, had met a few times and when out for a friend's birthday we gave in to the massive, obvious sexual tension flirted, got drunk and got slightly stoned, went home together. I do not care who knows this, it's testament to the passion we felt.

Reader, I jumped him.

He was worried that I wouldn't call.

We've been together 4 years and married for nearly 1. He never cared (nor asked) how many men there were before him.

Anyone who thinks you're a slag for sleeping with someone on the first date or that you should be at all ashamed about the number of people you've slept with is a dickhead, and probably a sexist one at that, since these people never tut when it's a man doing it.

I'm Christian.

Sex is nice. My vicar made it quite clear he believes some customs become antiquated - we no longer refuse to eat pork, we no longer sanction polygamy, and we don't have to object to sex before marriage.

I find it really disturbing how women are judged. But I suppose it's a good red flag, isn't it?

AskBasil Sun 15-Jun-14 11:22:14

Yes I think it's a very useful filter.

Ask a man what he feels about women sleeping with a man on the first date and there's a huge opportunity there for him to reveal himself as a total irredeemable nobber.

So you know you don't need to bother about him.

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