Ok so dd 12 was in trouble at school as she'd put some pink streaks in her hair that we then couldn't get out properly. No problems, we know the rules. However, her head of house is a 6ft4 male and he took her in his office and shouted at her so loudly that other children heard from the school hall and asked dd if she was ok. She was shaking and sobbing when she got home. She's been an exemplary pupil so far, never needed to be told off, does homework, plays for school teams, loves school. So I've e mailed this teacher to tell him that I take a very dim view of him speaking to my daughter I that way. As a dv survivor I feel it's important that my daughters know correct boundaries and behaviour between the sexes. My husband or sons would never speak to me or my daughters in this way so I don't expect teachers to do so. I've told him as much but I'm now worried I will come across as a raving militant. I just feel if my husband screamed at me or dds to the point we were shaking with fear, he'd be out the bloody door. What do you think?
And I never understand why people think that a pupil is in the same position as an employee.
They aren't. They are more vulnerable. Which is why you shouldn't shout at them. In the same way that it is no more acceptable to hit a child than to hit an adult. I wouldn't get away with shouting at an adult in my workplace, why is it OK for you to shout at a child in yours?
What rules are you imposing on a child in a school that are not imposed on an adult at work? We have 'rules' (or company policies) about health and safety, ethical behaviour, equality, fraud, as well as more practical regulations on attendance, clothing, annual leave, sick leave etc.
The OP's daughter was shouted at for having the wrong hair colour. Admittedly we don't have rules about hair colour at work (although we do have clothing regulations for health and safety reasons and it's understood that people have to dress smartly when meeting customers) but I fail to see why some schools think it's necessary and it certainly isn't worth shouting for.