The Feminist Pub Mark, um, V? Anyway, come in and chat.

(1000 Posts)

As I claimed the last post on the previous thread, I suppose it's my duty to set out the chairs, plump the cushions, stoke the fire, polish the bar and line up the glasses for the next one. grin

Oh, and to clear up a possible miscommunication on my part, it was not in fact I who told LordCopper that women had to choose between a career and a family. Just to clear that up.

What's everyone drinking?

It's like Spartacus but in the land of opposites. I am not Darrencus.

PenguinsDontEatKale Tue 11-Feb-14 19:28:24

I very nearly made a Spartacus joke too Buffy. Great minds!

We probably bake similar cakes and wear the same brand of perfume grin

PenguinsDontEatKale Tue 11-Feb-14 19:43:25

grin. Go on, own up, who is Darren?

I don't think even Darren knows who Darren truly is.

PenguinsDontEatKale Tue 11-Feb-14 19:50:32

I take it back, none of you is Darren. He's a twat.

BriarRainbowshimmer Tue 11-Feb-14 19:55:34

That quickly got boring.

CaptChaos Tue 11-Feb-14 20:09:46

Nice of him to take time out from his busy masturbating schedule to tell us how shit we are grin

Oh, did it turn nasty? DH turned up and we were eating the delicious roast pork I made. Were his insults all that his earlier work promised? Or did he let us down in the final analysis?

UptoapointLordCopper Tue 11-Feb-14 20:21:45

Who is Darren or do I not want to know?

PenguinsDontEatKale Tue 11-Feb-14 20:27:25

He started a thread in sleep where he quickly got particularly insulting and called his imaginary girlfriend a stupid bitch. And fundamentally he didn't have anything with which to develop his line of posting - just the same thing again and again.

A let down, as trolls go.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Tue 11-Feb-14 22:35:31

I was just skim-reading 'Darren' earlier when I should've been getting dc to bed when it was zapped. He seemed to get v upset about golf. I couldn't really understand why.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 12-Feb-14 00:46:18

I am not a Darren. I am a free man.

grin

DuskAndShiver Wed 12-Feb-14 10:06:28

Hello
Ooolong tea please and if you have any, a couple of tiny dried figs in the saucer (I had this once at Teasmith and it was a perfect combination)

Really fuming and angry today. There is a person at work (C) whom I usually get on with (although often disagree with) but she is now furious with me. She is the archetypal older sister, and I am so warped and twisted by my own older sister that I find this dynamic really difficult.

I have been really careful of her for years, ever since I watched her get into a really insanely heated argument with a colleague over the new window frames the colleague had chosen. C had never been to S's flat, let alone have any stake in it, but despite this she felt very angry that S had chosen window frames the exact opposite of the style that she would have liked for herself, or rather that S was robustly defending her choice (I would have lied and pretending to change my mind to close the conversation down). This, I thought, is an example of why never, ever, ever, to get into a direct confrontation with C. She cannot conceive of the idea of some things just not being her decision to make. Someone's else's window frames are a pretty clear example of that. Duly noted.

Anyway this was always going to flare up at some point. We got near to it a few weeks ago on a train journey where I had to defend my right to set my own priorities and put my own meetings in. I had to be really careful that that didn't get arsey. Today I talked a little hastily about how I can't reconsider every single decision I have to make on the tenuous grounds that someone, somewhere doesn't like it - not only can I not change many of the decisions but (I did not say this) I do not have time to justify every single one internally either so can she just woman up a bit and represent us externally better (I wish I could think of a way to say that that is not so overtly critical but she just doesn't get that her approach to me with respect to the clients is exhausting - she has a tendency to totally internalise the client's view that the problem is that I haven't said yes to to smething so I am the problem so she trots right along and brings it to me to "solve" by saying "oh alright then" which I can't and then I have to have the same exhausting self-justifying conversation that I have just had with the client that they have totally failed to relay while whining aobut me and C hasn't even bothered to ask "Presumably she did say why?" and AAAAAAAARGH)

So so sorry that is TOO LONG and has NOTHING to do with feminism, except, that I get very very very insecure about making decisions that people don't like in a way that men don't seem to, so, erm, that is all

Sorry to moan, please go back to your lovely drinks
I feel quite shaken.

Grrrrrr angry Bloody freezing wind! Bloddy dd leaving her coat at Brownies so I have to go out this morning to get it. Bloody ds forgetting his spinach so I have to go and drop it off. Bloody bin men for leaving my wheelie bin on its side across my drive so I have to get out and move it before I can reverse in.

OK, that feels better. I will conclude my anger management session with a coffee with double cream and a melt in the middle chocolate pudding even though it is only 10:17

Sorry Dusk I didn't read your post before posting my non-feminist rant.

I remember you talking about this woman and her behaviour on the train. Was she confrontational with you more recently or are you anticipating that she will be because of your earlier conversation?

DuskAndShiver Wed 12-Feb-14 10:24:40

Buffy, does ds often forget his, er, spinach?

Thanks for reading my ramblings. I feel very shaken by confrontation. She kind of made this into a row, admittedly I was being a bit impatient but she escalated it to the point of flouncing off.

I just can't bear it, I am sure it is some deep childhood thing

No, it's healthy eating week, he's making Greek Pizza (which involves spinach, feta and olives, apparently).

I hear you on the difficult people thing. It would be so easy for me to advise you not to let it bother you, to ignore it. But that would be enormously hypocritical because I find this sort of 'low level' stroppy behaviour, over a long period of time and when you can't simply avoid the perpetrator, to be really distressing.

So I can't suggest anything really, other than to say you're not crazy and not over-sensitive and I do sympathise with you sad

UptoapointLordCopper Wed 12-Feb-14 10:52:43

Yes, poor spinach. hmm

grin

Is there a spinach related faux pas I've made or cultural reference I've missed? blush

DuskAndShiver Wed 12-Feb-14 11:02:53

Greek pizza sounds nice, I wish I was making that today. Is it normal pizza base? I don't like spanakopita because I don't like filo, which keeps wrong-footing me because I like the insides and I keep thinking I should like it.

Penguinsdon'teatkale has been talking me down off the window-sill on another thread. (I wonder if penguins eat spinach?)

UptoapointLordCopper Wed 12-Feb-14 11:13:55

That penguin is a fussy eater. grin

PenguinsEatSpinach Wed 12-Feb-14 13:47:42

Just for you Dusk and LordCopper <twirls to show off new name>

Come to my house, there's a massive bag here. ds only needed a little bit to forget to take to school.

Ev1lEdna Wed 12-Feb-14 13:57:57

May I join?

I'm having a coconut latte because it's too early for a large wine and I can't have one in real life.

I am moving over here because a thread on women bosses was giving me the rage and I lurk here (occasionally posting) all the time.

Dusk that woman sounds difficult to work with so I don't think you are crazy. I think it is difficult in work situations because confrontation can really throw the work dynamic, she sounds like she hunts around for an argument.

Buffy your son's pizza sounds good - although I am intrigued by the healthy eating week aspect as if spinach and feta makes pizza a healthier prospect - still it's a cheery thought! grin Funnily enough I am using spinach, feta and olives on chicken tonight (no pizza base - sad)

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