"Mumsnet hates men"

(154 Posts)

There's a Facebook page created by some school kids called "shut Mumsnet down cos they hate kids" or some such thing, which is harmless enough.

But they've posted this advert from F4J, which is rather more sinister.

I wasn't aware that it was mandatory to hate men to be a Mumsnetter. I shall have to inform DH at once that he is to leave home and never see the DDs again. hmm

They're rather sad and scary aren't they?

DoctorTwoTurtleDoves Fri 03-Jan-14 09:27:58

F4J give men in general, and fathers in particular, a bad name. They want to shut down Mumsnet because they don't like that it provides a wonderful support network for women and men who think F4J are idiots.

meditrina Fri 03-Jan-14 09:29:47

I think they're better ignored tbh. Or at least in this sort of context.

It's not compulsory to like MN, nor to get to know a fullish range of what happens on the site.

Absy Fri 03-Jan-14 09:29:48

I think F4J is jealous. MN is way more successful than they'll ever be.

Ah yes, because none of us have husbands/boyfriends/brothers/fathers/sons... They really are stupid aren't they?

Absy Fri 03-Jan-14 09:30:30

Also, it's a good way to garner publicity. "f4J vs MN". It's just ripe for a DM article with the potential for lots of sadface photos and kitten heels.

MizK Fri 03-Jan-14 09:40:23

It's almost laughable, really. I say almost, as I actually feel a bit nauseated that somebody allowed their child's image to be used in this way when the 'cause' it is being used for is such a load of bollocks. Gotta love F4J's skill at blame shifting, so much more convenient to claim that there are fatherless children purely because of evil women (and MN) than the absent fathers themselves. What exactly is the purpose of this horrid ad except for piling hatred upon mothers?

CaptChaos Fri 03-Jan-14 10:16:09

Wasn't that originally an advert placed in a couple of 'newspapers' for Mother's Day 2012? I'm sure I remember giggling at it's oafishness then. Beware though, that F4J has some sort of Google alert spidey sense about anyone discussing them, so wait out for either the Matt O'Connor or his wife to come along and tell us all off for being men hating witches.

Climbingthewalls12 Fri 03-Jan-14 10:18:57

The advert above is a little sensationalist of course but I think its simple message is a pretty true representation of a great deal of mumsnet responses. The fact that LTB is a go to response says it all really, even if it is hidden behind the facade of a joke. I wouldn't say that it is untrue that many mumsnetters hate men in general, obviously not their DP, DS etc well not all of the time but if there is a problem with society its almost always linked back to men on this site.

I think it would be accurate to say that MN hates abusive men.

Kind, responsible, loving men are OK with us.

Less of an effective soundbite for an MRA though.

HoneyDragon Fri 03-Jan-14 10:21:32

Please don't give that FB more attention. It was set up as the result of the actions of some very silly boys, which was dealt with back in November. They have lifted the image via google as it says we hate babies/ children to them, I doubt they looked much further than that.

The last thing we want is to highlight a quiet facebook page to F4J when it appears mostly to be read by children and teens who are easily influenced.

if there is a problem with society its almost always linked back to men on this site

In a critical social analysis (of which feminism is one approach), problems in society tend to be linked back to the group of people who held the power to shape society into its current form, and who hold the power to change it now, if they wanted to.

Who, as a group, would you say holds a majority of the power to make an actual difference in the law, the economy, the way that business operates and the way the media reports things to us?

It's not personal. Lots of people do seem to take it personally, but that's because they can't (or can't be bothered to, or can but are unwilling to admit that they can) grasp the analysis.

Feminists are concerned with gender, so when you divide society up along those lines, it's mostly the male gender that has the power. Marxist analysis, to give another example, is interested in social class, and when society is divided up this way, people with privilege are those that own the means of production.

Noticing the structural disadvantage of a group to which you belong is vexing. This is where the <insert group of choice> hates <insert group of choice> comes from, I think.

Mignonette Fri 03-Jan-14 10:32:14

And avoid The Icecreamists in Covent Garden. It is owned by Mr O'Connor.

BTW I went to school with him. He behaved like an ass then too.

scallopsrgreat Fri 03-Jan-14 10:40:16

Imagine my surprise Mignonette grin

CaptChaos Fri 03-Jan-14 10:47:29

Mingonette I just made the mistake of looking up that shop. He REALLY hates women, doesn't he?

I simply can't believe that his asshattery has been a lifelong thing though.... oh no, hang on a minute!

Absy Fri 03-Jan-14 11:05:37

Go to Scoop instead. Way better.

Climbingthewalls12 - I would disagree. MN is very clear in its almost site-wide lack of tolerance for abusive behaviour in men. Women are encouraged to LTB, possibly more often than is healthy, yes. Though in those threads, there is nearly always a very serious problem in the relationship that needs to be urgently addressed.

HOWEVER... except in very clear cases of actual physical, verbal or emotional abuse, I have never seen MN give the advice to "LTB ^and make sure he is never allowed anywhere near his children again^".

There is an important difference there. Encouraging women not to put up with crap from their partners has no connection whatsoever to men not seeing their children. Even if the relationship does break down irretrievably and she does LTB, the MN standard is that men should continue to take on 50% of the parental responsibilities.

ArtetasSwollenAnkle Fri 03-Jan-14 11:16:39

I think it may be bad form to refer to other discussions on here, but there is currently another thread entitled 'I've just remembered how much people hate women'.

The 'hate' word is bandied about with far too much abandon on this board, as well as others like the one in the OP. It is too often used by people really not thinking about what it actually means.

CaptChaos Fri 03-Jan-14 12:00:06

I tend to call it hate when it looks like hate though. F4J and their MRA cronies really do act like they hate women.Therefore saying that he really hates women seems fair.

scallopsrgreat Fri 03-Jan-14 12:05:25

And in the other thread you refer to Artetas it is really all about controlling what women (and babies) are allowed to do in public - which is pretty hateful too.

HavantGuard Fri 03-Jan-14 12:08:29

That's old news. They tried to piggyback on MN's success to further their agenda.

Justine's response was along the lines of 'don't give them the oxygen of publicity.'

Skrifa Fri 03-Jan-14 12:17:36

Yes, I really hate men hmm I need to tell DP, DS1, 2 and 3 that I hate them. Because, from past behaviour, they may have assumed that I love them...

I don't want to draw attention to that post though. The 13-17 age group is apparently the ones who have liked it most. Lets not gt the man hating ideas into their heads too, if they haven't thought of it already.

I saw that site - not very popular, is it? Ah well.

I do hope all the men on this site realize how conflicted they are. sad

TheDoctrineOf2014 Fri 03-Jan-14 14:10:43

Climbingthewalls, your response was right on Capt's cue.

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing Fri 03-Jan-14 14:23:43

I think it is more true that "mn", insofar as it exists as some sort of entity hmm expects men to pay their way, see the home as their equal responsibility and do their fair share, be an involved and responsible parent, treat their partner with respect, consideration and love.

That these lets be honest fairly basic expectations are not met by so many and that verbalising these expectations or having these expectations means that you hate men really says more about those who claim it does than they think.

It is not unreasonable or man hating to demand respect, consideration, love and the equal sharing of everything involving in being a family unit.

Those who choose to interpret it as such are saying that they dont want a man to be that.

Betrays their own agenda .

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