I've always been very careful with DD (who is 3 next month) to try to avoid pigeonholing her with colours, toys, clothes etc. She wears any colour she chooses, plays with both dolls and cars, loves Spiderman and horses equally etc etc. I feel very strongly about the 'let toys be toys' view so for most of her life I've tried not to make a big deal out of the gender segregation for small children (which in my opinion is far more apparent than it was than in the 80's when I grew up).
Very recently she seems to have 'noticed' the gender divide so has started asking questions. For example, she told me on the way home from nursery a few days ago that old mantra 'pink is for girls, blue is for boys' until I reminded her that my fave colour is blue and she also says blue is her fave too. She's started doing things like picking up her Spiderman top, looking confused and saying 'but its for boys'. The same for her new shoes - which she chose but are also from the Clarks boys' range. She'll still wear them happily but she's starting to ask questions.
I've tried explaining to her that all colours and toys are for anyone and anyone can play/wear them etc, but is this how I should be saying it? Is there a better way to make it clearer for her in a way she would understand?
It's inevitable I guess that she would reach this stage (I'm guessing she picked it up at nursery as we have no family here and she doesnt get it from friends), and a bit depressing as I thought she would be older than this. 2 seems very young to be aware of this.
So any good pointers for me? How do fellow feminists deal with this issue with their children?
Thanks 
Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
DD (2) has started up with the 'pink is for girls, blue is for boys' - how to deal?
makemineabacardi · 02/01/2014 12:28
Thanks both . I'm conscious this is something I don't want to mess up.
She does have some pink (including a pink handbag she loves) which is fine with me, I just don't want her to feel that's all she can have.
I'm not girly at all and my fave colour is blue, but as a child adored The Little Mermaid so there can be a balance.
As for shoes - I prefer to buy her boys' ones since they're so much more suitable for all weather and rough outdoor play than girls' ones. Clarks is a particularly bad offender with this. A topic for another time but a 'shoes are for kids' campaign would be perfect!
Gird your loins OP this is just the start of it all.
My DD has an older brother so when she was little she happily wore lots of 'boy' clothes and played with whatever was around. But when she got to about 3 she became very pink and girly and seriously into shoes, despite having a mother who habitually wears black and comfortable shoes.
But don't panic! It was a phase, she grew out of it, she is still considerably more stylish than me, much better at putting an outfit together, much better looking and has a slightly punky/goth taste in clothes, she's 11. 
And (having recovered from a moment of doubt when seeing our dog get her temperature taken) has decided she wants to be a Vet.
Oh dear, the pink phase does bother me a bit I admit. There may be a lot of gritting of teeth in years to come then! Your DD sounds awesome Mother
My sister's partner lets her paint his toenails occasionally so I'll point my DD in his direction if she starts saying nail varnish is only for girls 
Do you know what make? I was exactly like you, not at all fond of pink and girly, really thought I'd struggle with it, but you just go with the flow and when it's your own DD it is, of course adorable! But although I was happy to let her wear pink if that's what she wanted there was no way I'd have painted her room pink or promoted it.
I think it's more important to concentrate on the feminist stuff, not let anyone suggest that girls are nurses and boys doctors, or tell her that she can't be a firefighter or train driver or climb a tree, etc.
Embrace the pink and power to the sisterhood!
Photos of me in the 80's would show me wearing my two (male) cousins clothes, I was seldom seen in frilly pink .
You're right about needing to concentrate on things like careers Mother - I also draw the line at a pink room! And frilly tutus that make girls look like Lolita. They'd better not darken my doorstep.
Ah, but DD wears her (admittedly) black frilly short skirt with her knee high studded Converse (that she bought with her own money because I would pay for something so impractical!)
You can subvert most things.
Does it really matter. I love pink; it's my favourite colour. DD likes it to but didn't really care when she was small (she's 15 now). DS had a shocking pink handle thingy and pink bits on his rugby boots last year because it was very trendy!
I love pink, I wear pink, when I was single I had a pink house - pink curtains, carpets and even a pink kitchen. It was my house, bought and furnished and redesigned with my money which I earned because I was and am entirely financially independent.
A colour doesnt' make a person and if your daughter likes pink and pretty things (I do) why shouldn't she have them if she likes them and wants them. Why shouldn't any girl or woman be free to make her own choices about what she wants and what she likes. I loved putting bright pink tints into the bottom of dd's hair last summer holiday - she loved it too.
Helps that we are both summers in the house of colour and pink happens to be one of the most flattering colours for us .
But a the end of the day nobody, male or female, is going to dictate what colours I like, what I wear or how I furnish because it's supposedly infradig to be anti pink because that's what all the independent thinking feminists think 
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