This simply reinforces pay inequality between the sexes

(30 Posts)
Grennie Sat 19-Oct-13 04:52:06

I always read the threads about how couples manage their money and bills with interest. Some couples where both work, agree to split bills, food and other joint costs 50:50, and keep the rest of their earnings for themselves.

Given that women tend to earn less than men, then I think thisway of managing money, simply reproduces pay inequality in the home. So I think it is a feminist issue. And yet how money is spent in a family, and who makes the decisions about that, rarely seems to be viewed as a feminist issue.

Interested to hear others views.

ScientistwithoutWhiteCoat Sun 20-Oct-13 16:00:41

DP and I meant to get a joint account but the banks made it so hard that 20 years on, we've never bothered. He pays the mortgage, I pay the other bills, and we agree regularly how much we each save and discuss any plans to spend more than say £50 on anything, and move money from one of us to the other as needed.

It helps that I read all the post that comes in and DP is happy for me to say what needs doing with money he earns.

WhentheRed Sun 20-Oct-13 20:51:49

I am the sole income earner since DCs and was by far the larger earner before DCs. Having said that, DH was the larger earner when I was in university. We have had joint accounts and pooled income from the outset. Bills and other deductions come off first then we share what's left. I don't think we have ever reconciled which one of us spends more on stuff for ourselves.

Whenever I think of couples keeping their money but splitting the expenses, I always think of a scene from the Joy Luck Club where the couple were "discussing" who was financially responsible for the cat and whether the cat was a joint expense.

I have known a few people who have shared expenses arrangements. I have only known one couple where the woman was happy with the shared expenses arrangement though. I think she earned more him but their lifestyle was directed at a level that assumed they both earned what he earned, so she had quite a lot of excess income.

garlicvampire Mon 21-Oct-13 14:57:23

Grennie and turtle - I've always insisted on equal spending money. The only acceptable formula for me is (wage1 + wage2) - (combined bills) = spending. Then divide spending by 2.

There have been big arguments over what constitutes a 'bill' and this tends to alter over time; it's permanently negotiable. For example, I don't think sanpro and skincare count as optional, so they go into Bills. This would definitely apply, too, when it came to toys and clothes for children.

biryani Mon 21-Oct-13 15:48:26

I bring in about a third of the household income, but pay for everything for dd: uniform, trips, clothes, entertainment, holidays. Dp pays mortgage and most bills. I have a separate account and intend keeping it that way, otherwise I would probably have to beg for spending money!

I too have a different "spending personality" to dp, who resists spending if he can. I envy those who can talk about money with their dp openly.

ElizabethJonesMartin Mon 21-Oct-13 15:49:34

Everything joint in our case always and mos of the time I earned a very large amount more. Worked fine as everything was shared and most important of all both had same attitude to money as each other - pay off debt, spend very little except on things like private schools and properties.

It is when you both have different views on spending and one spends all the time and the other is a miser whatever your gender you get real problems.

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