'Can I speak to HIM please'

(50 Posts)
StickEmUp Thu 10-Oct-13 19:46:06

Just a little one. Answering Phones at work:

Me: Hello Stick Speaking
Him: Hello may I speak to the marketing manager?
Me: No I am afraid marketing are in a meeting, can I take a message?
Him: That's okay I can call back. When can I call to speak to HIM
Me: You can call and speak to HER when SHE is out of her meeting
Him: Okay great ..name please etc ...

At this point he did sound a nice man so I did give some contact for marketing.

The funny bit is I did actually emphasis the HER and SHE, but in a funny way not horrible as I have to be nice unless someone swears at me.

Thing is; I know he didnt really consciously thing, 'this person MUST be a man' that makes no sense. So I do not blame him personally.

But I do find, managers and people high up tend to be men, so he said wirthout thinking based on what years of having eyes must do to you wink

I also made a comment to my MD that most people who come to see us (we work with retailers) are all in ties (men).

We went on to have a nice conversation about the fact he sees more and more women in these management roles. (I am talking CEO and just below, not middle management, or he wasnt anyway)


PenguinsDontEatPancakes Thu 10-Oct-13 20:28:17

Infuriating isn't it?

On a more positive note, DD1 asked me very seriously the other day "Mummy, boys can be doctors too, can't they?" She seemed most unsure. We had a chat about Dr Ranj.

unfortunatedischarge Thu 10-Oct-13 20:56:55

You should have said, no He doesn't work here

comingalongnicely Thu 10-Oct-13 21:35:51

TBH if he didn't know who the marketing manager was he probably wasn't someone she needed to speak to!!

You'd honestly think that people would have twigged to say "can I speak to them" by now though wouldn't you....

Boosterseattheballcleaner Fri 11-Oct-13 17:33:45

I get it all the time, calls get put through and I hear "oh sorry, I'm looking to speak to the Operations Director"

Er, yes speaking!

StickEmUp Fri 11-Oct-13 19:12:23

Booster ! That's annoying!

YoureBeingADick Fri 11-Oct-13 19:14:42

I would have said "he who?" And waited til the penny dropped.

StickEmUp Fri 11-Oct-13 19:19:27

I kind of had to be nice though, I did do the sarcasm really well.

KaseyM Fri 11-Oct-13 19:25:32

Seriously, what's wrong with "them"?!!

StickEmUp Fri 11-Oct-13 19:26:43

I know! I've been saying that way before ever being a feminist LOL.

I was quick though wasn't I.

YoureBeingADick Fri 11-Oct-13 19:36:31

grin This has just reminded me of a call i took in the bank once a few years back. Man called asking to speak with branch manager. I said the branch manager with a client and could i take a message. NO! He wanted to speak with branch manager now and i should put the call through because once HE (manager) realised who he was speaking with he would be glad i had as he (customer) was sure HE (manager) would agree that customer and he were personal friends and would i like customer to have a word with my manager about HIS useless staff.

To this day i dont know how i didnt split in two with laughter as i responded " ok sir, i'll let karen know a personal friend wishes to speak with her urgently"

Thankfully karen backed me up entirely with customer and simply told him she was with another customer and would ring him back.

StickEmUp Fri 11-Oct-13 19:38:48

haha1 I just twigged! it's not a friend (I knew that anyway) and couldnt have been they didnt know what sex
I had to read it twice
good one!

Boosterseattheballcleaner Fri 11-Oct-13 19:42:03

Not as annoying as speaking to managers at other offices who insist on calling their administration team "the girls" gives me the rage.

YoureBeingADick Fri 11-Oct-13 19:44:51

Yes stick- i think i might have sniggered ever so slightly when he said that he was personal friends with HIM. grin My face drew some attention from the other staff in the office and by the time i got off the phone they were all on tenterhooks to hear what i was desperatly trying not to laugh at- but we did laugh- oh how we laughed grin

solveproblem Fri 11-Oct-13 19:45:25


We get accounts emails to work signed off by 'The (name of M&E company) Girls'.
Don't know whether to laugh or cry!

Boosterseattheballcleaner Fri 11-Oct-13 19:49:26

That's shite Solve, why would any professional woman want to do that?

solveproblem Fri 11-Oct-13 19:51:38


More than one apparently as it's in plural. I wonder if they write the emails together as a team. grin

Boosterseattheballcleaner Fri 11-Oct-13 19:55:21

Thats bloody bizarre. Could be smart though, if someone sent something they shouldn't how would they prove which "girl" sent it?

DanglingChillis Fri 11-Oct-13 20:07:24

I am so glad I'm in a job that is evenly balanced sex wise so this doesn't really happen, by the time I meet customers they've been through the sales and programme management teams that are predominantly female (this is in a very technical field). But I do still find the service engineers (Who are all male! Not that any of my colleagues would have a problem with a female, although I suspect I might well make a comment about her being the only female I'd met in that role which I'm sure would get tiring) still assume gender roles, I did get quite annoyed at one once about his assumption that I didn't know anything about the equipment I used every day and he's not done it since.

A good friend of mine (who is an MNer so hope she doesn't mind me sharing this) just started a new job. She has a PhD. Another new member of staff came into the office with a circular memo, and asked who he should give it to next. He was told "Dr P". So he walked straight up to the only other man in the office and handed it to him.

Said other man raised an eyebrow and said "I think you'll find she is over there."

But really? FFS....

StickEmUp Fri 11-Oct-13 20:15:46

Annie OMG. I thought mine was bad.

I don't think this is a conscious thing, but how social conditioning is so powerful.

And would a woman assume the man was the doc, or the marketing manager.
Maybe men only 'see' men.

Boosterseattheballcleaner Fri 11-Oct-13 20:17:14

Dangling we sound like we are in a similar situation, people constantly asking me which engineer is pro with which kit and Im sat there all hmm because I design the jobs and specify the kit they bloody use and how it needs to be installed where it needs to be installed what the limitations are etc etc

Sadly, StickEmUp, even I, as a rabid feminist, sometimes find myself doing it! It's so embarassing! Social conditioning is a hard thing to overcome, even when you're concious of it.

mermaidbutmytailfelloff Fri 11-Oct-13 20:20:08

"Let me speak to the man in charge"
"Sir I am the man in charge"

Follow stunned silence and barely stifled giggles round the office.

StickEmUp Fri 11-Oct-13 20:20:18

Let's face it, in a world where men are in charge, we expect them to be in charge. End of.

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