Why is slut dressing cool?

(171 Posts)
Hullygully Thu 03-Oct-13 15:44:00

I don't get this.

I get that everyone should dress as they like/not be judged on appearance/not be victim blamed etc

I get all that

What I don't get is why women dressing in a way MEN deem sexually attractive: short skirt, tits hanging out, monster unwalkable in heels = empowering.

It's nonsense.

I'm not convinced men do find it sexually attractive

Hullygully Thu 03-Oct-13 15:47:45

Are they pretending?

Is the whole thing even madder?

I think they do even if they lie

LEMisdisappointed Thu 03-Oct-13 15:50:58

There is a very good reason that I don't dress like that, and its nothing to do with feminnism smile

I don't think women need to dress in dungarees and cheesecloth shirts to be a feminist though.

I think that if a woman wants to dress sexily, then more power to their elbow, however - sexy is nothing to do with slutty and trashy. I would assume most men would prefer sexy anyway. Short skirt can = sexy, cleavage in a well fitted bra can = sexy (NB: Cleavage because your bra is three sizes too small, not a good look). Monster heels - envy! There is a fine line between sexy and trashy.

Dressing in a manner that makes you feel good about yourself is a feminist issue and women should feel able to do so, without being oggled and more importantly actually, not be judged by other women.

Yougotbale Thu 03-Oct-13 15:52:39

Why wouldn't it be cool or shouldn't it be cool?

scallopsrgreat Thu 03-Oct-13 15:54:31

slut dressing??? Really?

I think it's women mistakenly thinking that men want a walking Barbie doll. Of course some knuckledraggers do but most men I know prefer subtly sexy over Geordie Shore chic.

All the traditional traits of femininity are exxagerated i.e. extensions, boobs out, curves clearly displayed. I think lad's mags and celebrity culture have a lot to answer for.

If you look at Take Me Out 99% of the women look like blow up sex dolls in knock-off Herve Leger frocks confused

Boosterseat Thu 03-Oct-13 16:02:26

Is it cool? I never correlate trashy with cool, always makes me wonder if they are insecure tbh.

From my college days, the ones who tried hard to look "sexy" were always the least confident in the group, they needed an edge to feel worthy.

I think the type of man who finds that particular look attractive is relevant too, there are a few grotty little buggers who work in my office who get all foamy mouthed over the mini skirts and heels but by equal measure I have a fair few male friends who go all gooey eyed over jeans and converse.

There is no accounting for taste.....

LEMisdisappointed Thu 03-Oct-13 16:13:24

See,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,not being judged by other women!

Boosterseat Thu 03-Oct-13 16:21:10

Sorry if you think I'm being Judgey LEM just based upon a large group of girls friends I had/have at college.

I completely agree women (and men) should be able to walk down the street in whatever the hell they feel like and not be judged but unfortunately my insecure friends seem to attract dickheads like flies on shit and I can help feeling the way they dress attracts that sort of man.

Boosterseat Thu 03-Oct-13 16:22:39

can't not can. grrr sausage fingers.

Yougotbale Thu 03-Oct-13 16:24:53

I think cool is closely linked to confidence. Whatever people want to wear is fine. Especially if they are confident in it.
I don't think you should judge people and call them slutty or trashy.
Are nudists trashy just because it isn't society's norm?

LEMisdisappointed Thu 03-Oct-13 16:38:23

The comment about the group of women at college wasn't judgy - "Theres no accounting for taste" was!

Thing is, what would look ridiculous, cheap and trashy on one woman may well look glamarous and sexy on another. If a woman is happy about the way she looks, even if she has mad a massive fashion faux pas, then it is really a non issue.

Boosterseat Thu 03-Oct-13 16:49:09

Agreed LEM, i didn't mean to cause any offence, it was supposed to be more of a "takes all sorts" comment but i phrased it badly.

I should probably make it clear I am covered in tattoos and have chameleon style so have plenty of experience with people hoicking up their judgey pants specially when they find out I am a bit corporate treacle at work.

specialsubject Thu 03-Oct-13 18:30:16

dress as you like, but women in clothes that don't cover what is meant to be covered or keep warm/cool (the function of clothes) and shoes in which they can't walk (the function of shoes) are a laughing stock.

ReviewsOffers Thu 03-Oct-13 18:42:50

It's silly to pretend we don't judge what people wear. Of course we do, it's making a definite statement about yourself.

It doesn't justify any kind of wrongful treatment, naturally, but it makes people aware of what makes you tick.

Following fashion is a bit of a different beast though. Currently fashion is for very 'slutty' looks (not a word i would use!) but all it says about the person wearing it is that they follow fashion. Which is a bit of a fun and frivolous aspect of themselves that they are expressing, not necessarily the sexual side.

There is nothing wrong with dressing in a revealing manner - depends on the circumstances. I would think it fine in a hookup kind of club, but inappropriate in Tescos on a Tuesday morning. Emphasasing the sexual side of your nature is totally fine, but, imo a bit off if that is the only side you ever express, or feel you should express.

pantsonbackwards Thu 03-Oct-13 18:44:35

I find it surprising and disturbing that anyone posting on a feminism section would use that slut word. Doesn't seem very feminist to me.

LEMisdisappointed Thu 03-Oct-13 18:45:45

Well, i think some of them look stunning - what is meant to be covered? Its only what society dictates? It used to be considered slatternly for a woman to reveal so much as an ankle, im rather glad we have moved on.

LEMisdisappointed Thu 03-Oct-13 18:46:26

I always consider slut to = a bit crap at housework grin

my name is LEM and i am a slut smile

Hullygully Thu 03-Oct-13 19:28:56

The POINT of using the "slut word" is the issue of slut shaming and what it's intent is. You will forgive me a small "DOH"

scallopsrgreat Thu 03-Oct-13 19:40:02

Well no not really Hully. Slutty is a word invented by men to shame women and control them. Several posters have continued to use that word and 'trashy' to describe the way women dress. This is buying into patriarchal values.

This is FWR. I don't see why we should use patriarchal language to describe women. No woman is a slut. Using the word suggests that woman can be a slut, they just shouldn't be shamed for it. I'd rather the word wasn't used at all.

MrsWolowitz Thu 03-Oct-13 19:43:59

I don't think that men do find that look especially attractive. Certainly not most of the men that I know.

DH finds me most attractive in ripped old jeans and a chunky jumper and wellies. grin

Thinking about it...maybe he's just odd.

I do agree OP though, it makes me sad to see these women exposing themselves in clothes that just cannot be comfortable and it all appears to be to get attention, especially attention from men.

Hullygully Thu 03-Oct-13 19:48:37

But wearing the "look" is buying into patriarchal values, values that say what makes a woman look sexy.

Please don't tell me women dress like that "for themselves"

Such a disingenuous argument.

YouMakeMeWannaLaLa Thu 03-Oct-13 19:49:40

I find it really ironic when people take the piss (not saying people here are, just in general) out of heavily made up/fake tanned etc. women and say something like 'men prefer the natural look anyway'.

Who cares what men prefer? It is always assumed the way women dress is/should be to please men. It stinks.

I feel bad for women who go to a lot of effort with their appearance only to be laughed at or told that men won't fancy them.

So we get beauty products advertised at us for years, lads mags, women's mags, TV, porn etc. telling us to look good and sexy and then suddenly it's 'Whoa! Not too sexy you daft sluts' angry

I do think too much effort on appearance and 'barbiefication' can hide insecurities but it's 2 sides of the same coin. We are rarely encouraged to be happy as we are.

scallopsrgreat Thu 03-Oct-13 19:49:41

Oh no I wasn't going to argue that, not at all. I just object to using the word slut to describe them.

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