Sex: My British Job. Channel 4

(760 Posts)
YouMakeMeWannaLaLa Mon 23-Sep-13 23:23:54

Anybody see this? It was just horrific. I really, really hope it reached the right audience: punters and their defenders. I doubt it, but I hope so sad

22honey Thu 29-May-14 23:55:37

' They spend their entire lives seeking out the golden minority of sexually liberal, easy-going and promiscuous women and then (at least some of them) spoil it for everyone.'

Yes this is very true of some hypocritical men who claim to love promiscuous women yet slate them at the same time.

Women do it because a promiscuous woman is a threat to them.

PortiasBlues Thu 29-May-14 19:58:55

“Gay men all promiscuous and not picky”

Well, almost all: many have hundreds of partners, even after the AIDS scare.

“Women all uptight, no sexual preferences of their own, only have sex for reasons other than their own pleasure / preference”

Not said by me. You misunderstood.

“You were talking about "mercy fucks", not charm. Most women have encountered creepy guys trying to get a "pity fuck". It's just another boundary crossing technique.”

What about ordinary male friends, or do you think that all men are ‘creepy’?

“What's your involvement with PUA, PBP?”

None.

“Have you been watching criminal minds again? Hmmmmmm?”

No, reading Douglas, Ressler, etc., on serial killers and serial sexual offenders, along with standard criminal law textbooks. NB: it must be admitted that mercy fucks would not work with hard cases such as this. On the other hand, many of these people look and seem normal, do not seem creepy, have sexual partners and fit into the community until apprehended.

“You can make a note of that in your Book Of Sex Theory And Why I Some Men Can't Get Any Cos Women Are Bitches Innit if you like”

I am not familiar with the works in question.

“Well, at least this bridge dweller can spell. Can't think straight, but can spell.”

Most law graduates can spell, and I work with a view of a bridge (looking downwards during the day, not upwards at night). Sighs, short and infrequent, are exhaled.

I am also familiar with the sophistry, wordplay and confusion techniques deliberately used by lawyers to fight cases and play devil’s advocate, etc., some of which are used on this thread, albeit in a club-handed manner.

“I have first hand experience the people who have the biggest problem with sexual and promiscuous women is other women. They are the ones who put these archaic and sexist expectations on other women. “

“Think about it, what would all these sex obsessed men get out of limiting women's sexual freedom?
Absolutely nothing, they would be happier if women were promiscuous and overly sexual because it would mean they, the men would get more sex.”

Correct, women are quite bad at the “slut” thing, and men are their own worst enemies when they do this name-calling. They spend their entire lives seeking out the golden minority of sexually liberal, easy-going and promiscuous women and then (at least some of them) spoil it for everyone.

22honey Thu 29-May-14 18:12:11

'The "rights" of privileged happy hookers to make a living'

Some posters on here will have read my story, I was what you would have described as a 'happy hooker'- i chose to do the job, and earned over £100 an hour. I actively defended it online during the time I was doing it.

However I was not 'privileged' at all and neither were most of the other 'happy hookers' I met. We all advocated our right to do the job, used the self preservation technique of telling ourselves and everyone else we wanted to do it, were well groomed and gave a good service.

It still didnt change the fact severe male abuse and lack of money was what socialised me and many other 'happy hookers' to enter the industry, and it took me 3 years as a prostitute to realise that infact, I had loads of issues from my past and was reliving my abuse in a lot of ways by participating as an escort. There are loads of 'happy hookers' where reading their stories it is obvious they got into escorting because of poverty/lack of opportunity for other well paid work.

There are many 'happy hookers' on the SAAFE forum (i was a poster for several years) who, at some point, have admitted to being the victims of rape and DV in the past. The big thing is when you are in 'happy hooker' mindset (a self preservation technique) you do not see your past abuse and the job you are currently doing as co morbid, or as having anything whatsoever to do with eachother.

That is where comments like 'I used to just give it away so thought I might aswell charge' come from. These women were just 'giving it away' because of their low self esteem and issues from past abuse, but they just don't correlate this with the current escorting job. It is a form of denial and I was guilty as charged.

I have pregnancy brain and struggle to be fully coherent at the moment, but I just wanted to point out that a lot of 'happy hookers' are not privileged and are actually just vulnerable women who are in deep denial about how their past issues have affected them.

Many punters and clients could do to remember that aswell, the vast majority are also in deep denial and think that if a woman is a self made 'escort' earning over £100 an hour, who looks good and is well groomed that she has no issues and has made a full 'choice' to do the job.

Many of the 'happy hookers' I met and spoke to did not make a full choice in the feminist sense of the word. Many had really abusive homelives and pasts, were immigrants from poor countries (ironically these are some of the 'happiest hookers' that often show huge enthusiasm for the job) aswell as issues with supporting children financially alone yet just did not correlate this with them deciding to prostitute and convinced themselves they were happy hookers making lots of money.

Trust me the faces of some of the most popular girls on the Manchester scene going into the room with clients is all you need to know that these 'happy hookers', often self proclaimed are not actually that happy. They tell themselves and everyone else they are as a self preservation technique.

22honey Thu 29-May-14 17:55:56

'And what qualifies you to speak for the prostitutes and know their experience better than they do? Just because you are a woman and would not choose to do it'

There does seem to be an awful lot of women on this forum that truly believe they speak and feel for all women.

22honey Thu 29-May-14 17:38:35

''I'm a solicitor in the prime of life and I'm doing all this work, day after day after day - for nothing: I might as well not be alive'.'

Tbf I've heard plenty of women bemoaning a lack of a sex life aswell. I dont know why its seen as so much worse if a man does it, it doesn't mean they think they are actually entitled to get it from somewhere. Its like when I moan that I am not going on holiday this year.

22honey Thu 29-May-14 17:35:33

'combat the strictures of female sexuality and can be as promiscuous as they like.

I think they mean the idea and social expectation, perpetuated in my experience mostly by other women, that women can not be promiscuous or overly sexual if they wish as it is seen as cheap, easy, sluttish and similar.

I have first hand experience the people who have the biggest problem with sexual and promiscuous women is other women. They are the ones who put these archaic and sexist expectations on other women.

Think about it, what would all these sex obsessed men get out of limiting women's sexual freedom?

Absolutely nothing, they would be happier if women were promiscuous and overly sexual because it would mean they, the men would get more sex.

CaptChaos Thu 29-May-14 15:52:20

Well, at least this bridge dweller can spell. Can't think straight, but can spell.

Bingo card filled up!

scallopsrgreat Thu 29-May-14 11:23:03

"Have you ever lifted a finger to help anyone in any circumstances in your entire life?"

Hahahaha. Yeah right. Because being raped by a man is helping them, of course. It's all about men isn't it. Their feelings are just more important. And that's not power for women. That's subjugation.

<shudder>

LoveSardines Thu 29-May-14 08:59:57

I'd do the blokes on criminal minds though. Well, most of them.

You can make a note of that in your Book Of Sex Theory And Why I Some Men Can't Get Any Cos Women Are Bitches Innit if you like smile

LoveSardines Thu 29-May-14 08:57:38

No no Flora if a man who seems violent, disturbed or creepy approaches us for sex we should ALWAYS say yes, as it's our public duty!

So that guy who followed me on the tube when I was 14 - the one who obviously slept rough and was fucking terrifying - should I have had a quick one with him down an alleyway somewhere? Hell Yes!!!!!! To make him feel better, you know?

Poor blokes.

LoveSardines Thu 29-May-14 08:55:49

"Sometimes the two will occur in one person, and any stressor, as the profilers say, will send him over the edge, but, from the video, his prime character trait seemed to be immaturity."

Have you been watching criminal minds again? Hmmmmmm?

lol

FloraFox Thu 29-May-14 08:55:47

You were talking about "mercy fucks", not charm. Most women have encountered creepy guys trying to get a "pity fuck". It's just another boundary crossing technique.

What's your involvement with PUA, PBP?

LoveSardines Thu 29-May-14 08:54:13

"There are few sexually starved gay men, as gay men do not have to combat the strictures of female sexuality and can be as promiscuous as they like. "

Woah hold up there.

Really? I mean, really???????

Am lol at all this actually.

Gay men all promiscuous and not picky CHECK
Women all uptight, no sexual preferences of their own, only have sex for reasons other than their own pleasure / preference CHECK

Oooh and look personal attack on a poster who said something poor diddums didn't like CHECK

Brilliant.

What's next? Can't wait grin

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:52:45

'"uninhibited" when used by PUA / MRA / pimp lobbyists = a woman's ability to dissociate herself from sexual behaviour and to subordinate her sexual gratification in favour of the gratification of the man with whom she does not desire sex.'

Their mission is to charm the woman into wanting sex - or at least a date.

"Never used to encourage straight men into gay prostitution."

I have heard it thus used - during Thatcher's first recession.

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:49:43

"Well yes, but he was a psychopathic, narcissistic murderer"

If society had treated him better in general, we might have got away with sociopathic and narcissistic, without the hat trick.

FloraFox Thu 29-May-14 08:49:34

"uninhibited" when used by PUA / MRA / pimp lobbyists = a woman's ability to dissociate herself from sexual behaviour and to subordinate her sexual gratification in favour of the gratification of the man with whom she does not desire sex.

Never used to encourage straight men into gay prostitution.

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:46:45

"Still, it seems that if we want to stop all the ills of the world, we can do so simply by saying that females must have sex with any man who says he wants them. Job done!"

Have you ever lifted a finger to help anyone in any circumstances in your entire life?

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:44:08

"Well yes, but he was a psychopathic, narcissistic murderer"

I read him more as mild Asperger's, with an ancilliary sociopathic condition. Sometimes the two will occur in one person, and any stressor, as the profilers say, will send him over the edge, but, from the video, his prime character trait seemed to be immaturity.

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:40:08

There are few sexually starved gay men, as gay men do not have to combat the strictures of female sexuality and can be as promiscuous as they like. Many clients of gay prostitutes are bi-curious men in socially conservative areas, where things are not so open. As far as the principle of mercy fucks is concerned, then yes, gay men should also have some if there is someone willing to do it - just as I said about heterosexual mercy fucks. Why not? Obviously only a minority of women and men will be sufficiently generous and uninhibited to do it, but a 1% improvement is better than none.

AnyFucker Thu 29-May-14 08:40:04

Well yes, but he was a psychopathic, narcissistic murderer

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:33:01

I hope for assonance and I get alliteration. Such is the modern poster.

LoveSardines Thu 29-May-14 08:31:53

Hmm and some men wonder why women won't have sex with them. It seems quite obvious to me hmm

Still, it seems that if we want to stop all the ills of the world, we can do so simply by saying that females must have sex with any man who says he wants them. Job done!

Oh hold on, following this argument, and if we assume men are in fact like a certain poster says they are, then the same offering needs to be there for gay men. I'm sure men will get on board with that - after all we can't have sexually unsatisfied men around the place, that would be dangerous. Sounds like a plan smile

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:31:08

"Who are these pontificating, pedantic, posturing , paternalistic pillocks ?"

A frivolous and vexatious question, M’Lud.

HelpmeGeldof Thu 29-May-14 08:25:32

We seem to have lost sight of Elliot Rodger, the California shooter. If someone had magically offered him the choice of swapping his BMW, Armani shades and education, in exchange for sex on tap, he would have accepted. He described the previous eight years of his education as 'a waste of time', and, indeed, his time since puberty as 'agony'. I hear that a lot from men in their Thirties going through a sexually dry patch: 'I'm a solicitor in the prime of life and I'm doing all this work, day after day after day - for nothing: I might as well not be alive'.

AnyFucker Thu 29-May-14 08:17:42

Who are these pontificating, pedantic, posturing , paternalistic pillocks ?

Is there a special place where they are manufactured ? Are they all the same PPPPP ?

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