WHY do so many (it seems) men hate and fear women?

(206 Posts)
Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 14:27:48

I was thinking about this the other day. Women earn less, get killed more, are objectified blah blah we all know the stats. They are real stats, the facts are that women have it worse. So why do men fear and hate them so much that they can't bear it pointed out? The "ball-breaking" language of the 70s continues in a different form. BUT WHY?

Chotter Tue 17-Sep-13 14:34:55

Hate comes from fear, and fear from not understanding. Ergo, men mustn't understand women.

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 14:37:11

But when reality clearly tells grown up educated brain-functioning men that they have it better, why do they still hate women and think they are out to get them? There are so many, they can't all be unable to communicate or get any, surely?

Chotter Tue 17-Sep-13 14:39:01

Well, history tells us that conflict comes from wanting more of something, or fear that what we have will be taken away. Take your pick, I guess.

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 14:41:34

What do they want more of?

Come on, aren't there any hard done by men out there that can explain it?

An iconic green little person with large ears once said: fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

Chotter Tue 17-Sep-13 14:47:10

Yes, me. That is why I was answering.

Again, history tells us that conflict usually occurs over scarce resources. What does everybody need? Abraham Maslow defined it in the following terms;

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

I suspect the answer lies in there.

Pootles2010 Tue 17-Sep-13 14:48:45

Same reason rich hate the poor I guess - they're scared of the tables being turned and being chucked out of their nice cosy lives.

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 14:49:13

Is Chotter an iconic green little person with large ears? A leprechaun?

Flicktheswitch Tue 17-Sep-13 14:50:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

No idea as i haven't met anyone like that. If i do then i will ask grin

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 14:51:49

What irrational reasons?

Quangle Tue 17-Sep-13 14:52:17

I think lots of people can feel disempowered and when you feel disempowered and people start pointing out that you are actually privileged, it rubs people up the wrong way. I think that's where a lot of the current misogyny comes from - men who feel they are failing in some way then have to face the facts that they have actually already had lots of advantages and it doesn't fit with their internal story.

As for the misogyny of millennia, I think it's fear. Women fundamentally control the future of the human race. People should be afraid of that grin

Chotter Tue 17-Sep-13 14:54:11

That is why I am nice to my Mrs, Quangle grin

My person opinion is that it comes from the idea that men can't know for sure that their children are their biological children. This might be linked to when property and inheritance rights started to become important, men started to care more about this. Don't know, perhaps it was important anyway to be confident in passing on one's genetic heritage...

Nevertheless, some men didn't trust women and so they wanted to control their behaviour to ensure that their children were their biological children. I think that all the socialisation of women as inferior beings stems from this need to control our sexuality. Over time this has become so much part of our culture and social interactions that we don't really notice it.

And no, before anyone says "but I don't think like that about women, you don't know me, you're horrid" I'm not talking about a conscious thought process, I am talking about unconscious socialisation and cultural evolution. Kay?

TeiTetua Tue 17-Sep-13 15:14:24

That "women get killed more" statement is entirely wrong. It only becomes true if you make it "women get killed by men far more often than the other way around". In fact I believe violent death for men is about 4 times more common than for women.

If I try to come up with a reason for male hatred of women, it's a twisted sexual desire. A man can't have sex with every woman he sees or thinks about, but he can hate them all. Sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it.

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 15:22:04

yes, soz, tei, I meant that.

SilverApples Tue 17-Sep-13 15:25:31

Buffy is quoting Yoda, Hully.
I think it's easier to mock or fear something that is 'Other' than to try and understand or empathise, and many choose to go down that path.

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 15:28:51

Ah, yoda.

I would like one of the men who doesn't like women to explain their life and how they arrived at that point.

Chotter Tue 17-Sep-13 15:33:16

Do you honestly think that is going to happen, or is this thread just a bit of a wind-up?

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 15:34:39

I live in hope. I'd be really interested.

I once managed a whole thread about religious belief that stayed civilised (proud) so there is always hope.

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 15:35:50

I mean the men who don't see women as fellow human beings, the ones who are overly conscious of gender and apologise for swearing, for example, not just the rabid haters.

Hully I know elderly men who wont swear around women. I wouldn't say that a hater maker.

Chotter Tue 17-Sep-13 15:37:22

I could be wrong, but I would imagine that there are very few men who are self-identified haters of women. What you may think of their behaviour, compared to how they see themselves, is probably pretty different.

Hullygully Tue 17-Sep-13 15:37:55

No, I mean the ones like the one from the joke in the pub thread, Kim's thread. What makes them tick? How did they get like it?

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