Slane girl 2013

(86 Posts)
FrigginRexManningDay Mon 19-Aug-13 10:54:20

I became aware of this yesterday on twitter and subsequently other social networking sites. It took hours for twitter to act.

Eminem played at Slane Castle on Saturday. A girl was photographed performing a sex act there. The picture went up on twitter and Facebook basically destroying this girl. The picture was retweeted many many times often with derogatory comments. The boys involved were regarded as heroes and legends. Slut shaming at its worst.
The girl is 15/16 years old (different reports of her age). It took Twitter hours and hundreds of emails to get them to react.
She is a young girl thrown to the lions.

jacobsmummy20 Tue 20-Aug-13 23:46:04

The girl was confirmed to be 17, the age of consent in Ireland.
I think the whole thing is a disgrace, I think she made a really bad choice and the images were awful to see.
Don't get me wrong the boy clearly has no respect for women or that girl at all, he viewed himself as a ledgend or a 'lad' and he probably doesn't care that this has gone viral. If my son ever did such a thing...scratch that because id raise him better than to ever treat a young woman like that, but the girl....i am not on her side at all, I think she objectified herself and I as a woman am embaressed for her. Im not perfect and have made mistakes but I have not done something like that, something I consider intimate in front of an 'audience' it makes me sick. She did that and now her family are probably mortified and disgusted. The garda request that everyone respect her privacy? It didn't look like she wanted much privacy. If you give bj's out to multiple men in a crowd of people with camera phones what was supposed to happen? The bigger question I wonder is where were her friends to keep her right, to be there for her? Im sure she didn't go alone. Her life is probably ruined and I think the whole thing has gone too far. But when im super drunk I talk crap, fall about and maybe cry...i dont disrespect myself like she did. The boy? He should be shamed because he is a complete example of how the boys behave these days.

goforthejobular Tue 20-Aug-13 23:51:09

It doesn't matter what the age of consent is - irrelevant. Under 18, it's child porn.
The sex act itself may well be 'legal'.
The image isn't.

Haven't seen it myself.

KellyHopter Wed 21-Aug-13 00:02:58

Jacobsmummy - it's not really about her or her choices though. I mean how does it actually affect any of us that this happened? It's mortifying ly bad taste, but she didn't hurt anybody.
Surely the issue is the vile people who shared the picture? That was designed to hurt and humiliate and degrade.
What about those who have actively sought out the pictures? You mention they were horrible to see so maybe you are one of them, but what is their motivation? Why would anybody want to join in with the humiliation of a young girl who has hurt nobody?

LeStewpot Wed 21-Aug-13 09:42:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scallopsrgreat Wed 21-Aug-13 09:57:51

Here is another report showing that this is a damn sight more abusive than some people on this thread seem to think.

Suggesting a child has the same agency as the adults abusing her is pretty shoddy and victim-blaming.

scallopsrgreat Wed 21-Aug-13 09:59:23

And that's before we get into the the bullying and creepiness of spreading this round the internet at the girl's expense. Because it certainly hasn't been at the man's expense. Those of you saying you blame the men as much is all very well, but they aren't getting any blame. There is barely any focus on them at all. It is all about the girl's behaviour. And that is just wrong.

DuelingFanjo Wed 21-Aug-13 10:05:34

"Her life is probably ruined"

and his life?

Surely he and the other abusers should be punished in some way?

Moln Wed 21-Aug-13 10:37:01

There are a lot of people to be held culpable here.

It's reported she approached the guarda prior to all released videos and photographs and complained of sexual harassment.

The video in question was put on YouTube and shows her, prior to the photographs, surrounded by a group of males, being groped and verbally abused, she is kissing apparently a different male. It's reported that she is very 'out of it' in the video, and that there are voices caught on the video asking who she is with and where her friends are.

Then following this there came the photographs as described already.

LeStewpot Wed 21-Aug-13 11:26:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoniTime Wed 21-Aug-13 11:30:13

SinisterSal 22:09 I feel the same, it was my reaction too.

LeStewpot Wed 21-Aug-13 11:31:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mollydoggerson Wed 21-Aug-13 11:56:17

She is a child
He is most likely a child.
The other boy she gave a blow job to is probably a child.
The person who took the photo is probably a child.
All of them were probably under the influence of drink/drugs.
Many of the people reposting the photo are teenagers.

From my reading of this site the general consensus is she made a mistake, he is an abuser? He appears to be a child too.Whether he realises this or not he is also a victim of the posting of the photograph. He is recieving a pretty sharp backlash also.

Why is it so important/popular to push boundaries? We all have the same body parts, there is only so much any of us can do, why is it deemed cool to push boundaries?

FreyaSnow Wed 21-Aug-13 12:05:29

MD, the girl's complaint that she was sexually assaulted in against that boy, but concerns another incident at the same event. The complaint was made prior to the release of these photos.

Whether or not these photos were released as a consequence of her making a complaint (to discredit her complaint on the basis that she engaged in kissing and other acts with other males) is not yet known, but the YouTube video that was taken down seems to suggest she was a target of harassment by others because she was kissing somebody.

FreyaSnow Wed 21-Aug-13 12:06:10

Sorry, I meant the complaint is NOT against that boy.

Mollydoggerson Wed 21-Aug-13 12:07:22

FreyaSnow, sorry I didn't know these details, I shouldn't have posted. Thanks for filling me in.

FreyaSnow Wed 21-Aug-13 12:17:04

I have only just found that out myself from reading the link to the police's involvement, so I don't think you or people in general are to blame for not knowing stuff that is only just coming to light.

Moln Wed 21-Aug-13 12:38:45

Also check my post from early, prior to the video and photo she approached the guards (that's the Irish police in case you dont already know) about sexual harrasment.

PeriodMath Wed 21-Aug-13 12:49:13

Why is she referred to on here as a girl but the males are referred to as men? How do you know they're not all children?

Why is the male receiving the bj an abuser? But the poor sweet girl giving it is a victim?

What does this say about our warped attitudes towards female sexuality? That boys get sex of their own free will because they enjoy it but girls couldn't possibly therefore they must be being abused?

And young girls make foolish decisions but young boys are just rapey men in waiting?

hmm

FreyaSnow Wed 21-Aug-13 13:00:49

She has been referred to this thread as both a girl and a woman by different posters. He has been referred to as both a man and a boy by different posters.

The abuse issue is her complaint and the police investigation about other males, and footage of her being abused by a group of males. There is not at this point any reports of the boy making a complaint about abuse or any footage showing a group of males or females abusing him.

scallopsrgreat Wed 21-Aug-13 13:34:39

Apologies for my part I was under the misapprehension that they were adults (I haven't seen the pictures). Evidently not.

However, that does not take away from the fact that she was sexually abused both from her claims and from the fact that her pictures have been distributed without her consent. And to give her the same agency as those who are not getting blamed and shamed is wrong. Her behaviour is the primary focus of the bullying not the boys behaviour. Their part in all this appears to be an afterthought.

comingalongnicely Wed 21-Aug-13 13:47:46

I think she's going to complain of sexual abuse now whether she was or wasn't, the publicity has certainly made sure of that.

Not sure about the pictures thing, from a photography point of view (for normal pics) you can't stop someone publishing a photo of you taken in a public place -they don't need any permission from you. Obviously it's not that simple in this case as it's potentially a criminal act that pictures are being published of (not to mention bullying, malicious and in really bad taste)

One thing that is apparent is that Sex Ed and Parents really, really need to make sure that kids understand that -
a: Doing this stuff in public isn't clever
b: Letting people take pics or vids, or sending them the same is plain stupid
c: Distributing this sort of stuff isn't a "laugh", it could end up with someone's life ruined (or worse).

I'm going to be talking to my kids tonight. I don't think they'd do anything like this, but I want them to understand the ramifications for all involved.

Until kids do, this sort of crap, and the stupid attitudes that cause it, are here to stay!

scallopsrgreat Wed 21-Aug-13 14:19:47

"I think she's going to complain of sexual abuse now whether she was or wasn't, the publicity has certainly made sure of that."

What is that supposed to mean? She complained of abuse before these pictures were released.

"Letting people take pics or vids, or sending them the same is plain stupid" There doesn't appear to have been any 'letting' hmm involved, at least not on the girl's side.

SinisterSal Wed 21-Aug-13 14:21:39

Sex Ed and parents have feck all influence over kids for that couple of formative years in their teens, afaics, comingalongnicely
they really identify more with their friends, and form little subsets which are heavily influenced by media/music/pop culture/sport/whatever scenes.
It is part of forming a separate identity from parents, it's healthy I suppose, and they grow out of it.
But while you have a hypersexualised and pornified society such as ours you are going to get incidents like this. I am sure some people think it's totally fine.
Teens exploring their sexualities is of course normal and healthy and all that. (I feel like I have to state the bleedin obvious before someone brings up the pearlclutching witticism)
but they are not starting out from a place of relative 'neutrality' are they? (If ever they did, of course). They are heavily influenced by porn, and notions of service and submission, and all that goes with that.

Society ids no less fucked up about sex now as it was 100 years ago.
You still have the madonna/whore thing, sex is still something women do to please men, if you do you're a slut if you don't you are a prude.

SinisterSal Wed 21-Aug-13 14:22:36

I advise you to read the thread periodmath, it's a bit more complex than that.

comingalongnicely Wed 21-Aug-13 14:31:53

Sinister - "Sex Ed and parents have feck all influence over kids for that couple of formative years in their teens, afaics"

You must be doing it wrong then. We certainly influenced our children and instilled some morals into them, I certainly wouldn't not try to influence them because they're exploring their "sexual identity" but I agree, the huge focus on porn nowadays doesn't help.

Scallops - OK, wasn't aware that she'd complained before the pics went viral, but in regards to
"There doesn't appear to have been any 'letting' hmm involved, at least not on the girl's side"
it could be argued that, by doing the deed in a public place in front of a crowd of people, it was a fairly likely outcome, I'm not condoning it, just pointing out the bleeding obvious.

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