I've been looking for a new job recently. I've had a number of good interviews but ultimately, I have yet to find something. As a result, I've been thinking carefully about what I could do differently to improve my chances when I meet people.
One thing I noticed when I started thinking about it, is that I often get feedback that I'm very "enthusiastic" or "energetic". Usually this is in the context of, "she's very enthusiastic and energetic but ultimately we didn't feel she had quite the right skill set." Eventually, I came to the conclusion that these words were not in fact positive, but were rather euphimisms for "puppy dog-like eagerness". I decided to make a real effort in future to tone that down.
Then I had an interview recently that went very well. I consciously planned ahead to be less "enthusiastic" and when I met with the woman, we had a very helpful conversation and she asked me to come back and meet some colleagues next week.
Success you think? But then I started thinking about it, and I realised that a) I really am not sure that any man would ever be referred to as "enthusiastic" or "energetic" and b) even worse, that I found it easier to be more moderate and considered when meeting with a woman. I realised that all my recent interviews have been with men and in every single one I've felt like I have to prove myself. I've felt like I have to be sweet, and nice, and enthusiastic. But when I met with the woman, I did not feel the same way.
I'm struggling to articulate this but would be interested in other views. Both on whether these are words that are less obviously sexist than "strident" or "hysterical" but have the same affect and whether I'm naturally changing my interview style according to the gender of the person I'm meeting? That terrifies me and just demonstrates that the patriachy is absorbed in us so deeply that even when we strongly identify as feminists, we're still subject to the same instinctive responses that women have been subtly encouraged to do for years.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
"Enthusiasm" in job interviews.
13 replies
BlingLoving · 15/08/2013 10:24
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.